Phil Cunningham Profile picture
金培力 CCTV FOLLIES at Fulbright, Knight, Nieman Fellow.

Jan 31, 2023, 38 tweets

CCTV FOLLIES 1.31 Xi's laser-like focus
-Xi takes lead in China's laser-tech
-Scientists still talking about the Chairman
-Xi's thumbprints, footprints everywhere
-Dmitry Peskov says US to blame
-Brazil's Lula not interested in helping Ukraine
-US economy in tailspin

Did you ever wonder about the secrets of the universe?

Wonder about what makes rockets go into space?

Wonder no more. It's all powered by the source of China's secret sauce.

Xi's erudition, no, let's come right out and say it, his galaxy brain, it's like, it's out of this world.

Einstein has nothing on him, and Einstein didn't grow up in a cave. The naturally brilliant Chairman merely has to point his finger and the nation's top scientists blindly follow.

What's that thing over there? A flashlight?
Yes, Chairman. No, chairman,That, uh, Mr, ah, Chairman, as we've been trying to explain, that is a laser...

The words of the Chairman, so profound. A wake up call that really woke us up and got us on the right path.

Applause and plaudits wherever Xi goes...
A charismatic mentor for men and women of science...

Don't let his humble, folksy charm fool you, he's whip-smart, as sharp as a laser.

And China's young scientists can't get enough of it.
"As the Chairman says...."

With scientists following Xi's lead, it's hard to see how China's rational development can go wrong.

-What's this little thing?
-That? That sir, that is a....
-Anyone see my contact lens?

"I'm so proud to report back to the Chairman...
mission accomplished!"

What's more, with the Chairman as China's navigator, cars need no drivers. Under Xi, computational brain power is blossoming on every possible front.

But the top story today is about a letter.

The Chairman graciously responded to a letter written by Hungarian students who wished him a happy Chinese New Year.

And we're gonna read that laser-sharp diplomatic demarche letter out loud on TV:

"Chairman Xi emphasized that both China and Hungary have a long history and a splendid culture, and people of the two countries enjoy a traditional friendship and increasingly close cultural exchanges."

Wow. Can you feel the burn?

In other news, the Chairman exhorts engineers to build better cities with this gem in mind:

"Open with a good round, put your best foot forward"

For news on Ukraine, we turn to the Kremlin...
Russian attack helicopters own the skies of Ukraine. The awesome firepower speaks for itself.

Facing an upright military like this, why would anyone want to resist?

Russia's got the guns, it's got the leadership, it's got the tacit backing of China, and Hungary, and maybe even Croatia.
Why not just roll over and give up now?

CCTV's obligatory "fair and balanced" coverage includes this amazing shot of Ukraine's military struggling in the mud and snow.

Those felled tree branches do nothing to camouflage the iced up tank.

So why hasn't Russia won yet?

It's so unfair!
Dmitry Peskov, Putin's spokesman, says the US is prolonging the pain.

Standing on principal, Russia strongly opposes other countries helping Ukraine.

Zoran Milanović, the illustrious president of Croatia wholeheartedly agrees:
"It's so immoral! Look at the all the support NATO and other countries are giving to Ukraine!"

In another boost for Xi's long-game diplomatic offensive to shore up a Russo-Chinese friendship without limits, Brazil President Lula says he has no interest in helping Ukraine.

Comfort women in the Philippines protest Japan's intransigence on historical restitution.

The economies of US, UK and EU are all on a strong downward trend

Even Americans agree, according to this NBC poll.
72% say the US economy is getting worse, and 45% say things are going in the wrong direction.

And that's today's news. Make sure to follow us online and watch CCTV video product on your mobile apps.

Share this Scrolly Tale with your friends.

A Scrolly Tale is a new way to read Twitter threads with a more visually immersive experience.
Discover more beautiful Scrolly Tales like this.

Keep scrolling