Howitzer 'Triple-7' Marv 🎖️🏴‍☠️ Profile picture
I tell stories. #NAFOfleet captain. Former drummer for Discarded Butts. President of the #HellsFellas NAFO MC!

Feb 11, 2023, 32 tweets

Fellas and Fellinas! Wind the clock back to the more innocent times when Bruce Willis had hair, Blockbuster was a quiz game not a video store, and Cheggers Played Pop. Yes - it's time for #NAFOlove brings you Blind Date with Cilla Bonk!

Welcome to the show! Later on we'll find out if @martianritch and @janegem2 had a row-mantic time on their date, or if the relationship has hit the rocks already! But first, we've got three smashing fellas hoping that Cupid got them in his sights tonight. Come in, the fellas!

What's your name, Number One, and where do you come from?
Hi Cilla! I'm @pavelmedojed and I'm from the Czech Republic! I love bee-keeping, cycling, and our new President. My motto is 'Never let safety equipment get in the way of your daydreaming.'

Well, it's always a good idea to use protection! Enjoy Blind Date, Number One! Good evening Number Two, what's your name and where do you come from?

Good evening Cilla! I'm @Wales4Ukraine - which kind of gives away where I'm from! I support uk4ua.org, a charity that relays medicines and supplies into Ukraine every 7-10 days from our beautiful country of Wales.

And hello Number Three! We've got a fella in a beekeeper's net and a fella with a gun - are they worried tonight's lovely fellina is a bit dangerous?
Hi Cilla! I'm @dunfishin4 and I'm from [REDACTED]! I'm hoping to meet a fellina to help me fight vatniks, tankies and fascists!

Well, that's three smashing fellas hoping that they're the one tonight. And here's the lovely fellina who's got to make that decision - her name is Bubbles and she's from Ireland! Come in, @MrsCarterIE!

Well, you've certainly passed the wow test, @MrsCarterIE - hasn't she! What an amazing outfit. Tell us a bit about yourself, Bubbles - you work in a bar but you're also in promotions?
That's right Cilla - I pull pints but I'm also pushing my friend @bathdawgNAFO's Pants Shop!

And you only serve the good-looking fellas, is that right?
You've got three questions to find out which of our fellas you've going to choose - so off you go, and good luck!

Fella1 says: "Hi Bubbles! My pecs & abs - but I can also offer 'beer belly phase 1', it's a work in progress!"

Fella 2 says: "Hi Bubbles! I'd have to say my arms! They're not the most muscular, but I do a lot of powerlifting so they're big meat hooks!"

Fella 3 says: "Hi Bubbles! I'd also say my arms - I keep myself fit with CrossFit and Olympic weightlifting. Big strong arms are perfect for giving big hugs!"

Fella 1 says: "that would be definitely my sense of humor"

Fella 2 says: "I would smile and say 'I'm terribly sorry for being so forward, but I just have to tell you, you're breathtakingly beautiful'"

Fella 3 says: "15 seconds? Wow! That’s not long! I would compliment your smile, your hair, your clothes and give you a biiiiig hug!"

And finally, question number three....

Fella 1 says: "I would offer you bottle of vatnik tears. Because I know you would love it."

Fella 2 says: "I would buy a faux rose. Why a plastic flower? A real flower wilts, but a plastic one lasts forever, and that would be just like my love - something that lasts forever."

Fella 3 says: "I would book a weekend away in Kyiv for a weekend of romance and adventure and as an added surprise I would throw in VIP tickets for a beach party in Crimea…"

<Graham = on> @MrsCarterIE! Will you pick No1, the beekeeper with the stash of Vatnik Tears? Or maybe you fancy the chances of everlasting love with No2? Or will it No3 who wants to sweep you up in his manly arms and take you all the way to Kyiv? The decision ... is yours!

Oh, Bubbles! You turned down adventurous Pavel from the Czech Republic, and big-hearted Wales who works so hard to get supplies to Ukraine ....and You Chose...@dunfishin4 from [REDACTED]! Come in, Skeptic! 😁

And for your date, you're having a working holiday as train drivers on Ukrzaliznytsia! Will you come back next week and tell us all about it?

Fellas and fellinas, let's have a big hand for @MrsCarterIE and @dunfishin4!

When we come back, we'll hear from @martianritch and @janegem2 about their adventures underwater - did they dive into each other's arms, or was it a deepwater disaster?

<cheesy advert voice!> Are you looking for the best cookbook you'll buy this year? Your search is over! Visit @1JessicaEliza and check out her World Cookbook, supporting Frontline Kitchen @frontlinekit and Chef Zhenya @chefzhenya - 100% of the proceeds will go directly to them.

<cheesy advert voice continues!> Are you looking for a way to express your feelings for that special fella but just can't find the words? Say it with one of @elandycl's personalised e-cards - check out Drew's pinned tweet for how to order with a donation to a pro-Ukraine charity.

<artificially manly advert voice> Full of short-fella rage as you watch the world stan a Short King that isn't you? We have the answer!

For more card releases, recruitment posters and other opportunities keep an eye on #NAFOlove and #FellantinesDay hashtags!

Welcome back fellas and fellinas to Part Two of #NAFOlove HQ does Blind Date with Cilla Bonk!

Last time, @martianritch picked @janegem2 and they went for a day scuba-diving on the Moskva. Did romance float their boat?

Finishing off with a pizza and some beers at Fellanitini's Restaurant.

Does Cilla need to buy a hat?
"We had a lot of fun," Jane said. "We've got tons in common but just as friends at the moment."

"He did leave his amp at home when we went out for a fantastic Italian at Fellantini's. But he also left his 'breeks', apparently it's a Scottish tradition?"
Have they met up again? They weren't saying but it looks like @martianritch took @janegem2 to Shetland for Up Helly Aa!

That's all for this week's show! Thank you for watching London Weekend Fellavision, brought to you by #NAFOlove HQ.

If you've been entertained please drop a contribution to your favourite Ukrainian fundraiser - #NAFO support is needed now more than ever. #ArmUkraineNow

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