Phil Cunningham Profile picture
金培力 CCTV FOLLIES at https://t.co/Ytx660bYM5 Fulbright, Knight, Nieman Fellow. @jinpeili.bsky.social @jinpeili@ieji.de

Mar 19, 2023, 36 tweets

Ukraine's Zelensky warmly congratulates China's Xi Jinping on the accomplishment of being re-elected* to top office and credits him for contributing to global order and security.

(but still waiting by the phone hoping for Xi to return his repeated calls)

*Unanimous! 2,952-0)

Meanwhile, Russia is still steaming about that pipeline.
Only with Russia's just and objective participation will the truth be found.

CCTV interviews former German defense official:
"Only the US or NATO could pull that stunt off"
"Gas shortage affects industry and citizen livelihood."

Russia still defending itself from NATO expansion in the forests of Ukraine....

Russia vows vigilant defense of the Volga fatherland

Dozens of American citizens rise up Washington, DC in a mass action to oppose NATO and wars based on lies.

(nice touch, CCTV, including that balloon in the shot)

NATO is the source of Ukraine's troubles. And China justly hates trouble if it causes booming exports to go down.

More cutting-edge photojournalism from CCTV's crack camera team currently roving the American heartland.

-186 US banks at risk! And it looks like there won't be a "soft landing" this time.
-Kudos to CCTV for capturing these candid, heartfelt shops of Americans struggling at the supermarket

As you can see from the work of CCTV's intrepid London crew, here covering yet another strike in the UK, video standards are high...

...yet sometimes CCTV will purchase blurry footage and phone shots if the story is of global importance:

Miami Beach spring break gone amok...

And now back to the top of the news, which will be ad-libbed in the name of clarity. CCTV's photo editors have outdone themselves in the next segment, which is pervaded by universal themes of mist, mystery, puddles and feet.

And who is the mystery one who valiantly approaches, step by step, one step after the other, leaning on one leg at a time, resolutely pushing forward in the pitter-patter of the driving rain?

The tension builds up. One hundred million viewers watch with bated breath, wondering who it is...

It's....it's..... It is His Excellency!
Humbly holding his own umbrella!

The paramount leader registers a note of surprise to realize he's on camera. He wasn't putting on a show for the camera. He wasn't performing. He didn't notice the camera crew on the scene.
He truly is a man of the people.

Young people studying science need stimulation if they are to do better and better in their lab research.

Speaking of which, what more could you ask for?

A man of science among men and women of science.

But what's this? He's reaching out, shaking hands!

It is to my eternal honor sir, to have the privilege of your soft, gentle hand in mine.

I will never wash my hands again...

I shall always wear waterproof gloves, even when I type, to better preserve the pure essence of muscle memory of your touch.

Other colleagues who were lucky enough to shake hands, and thus be touched by the ambrosia sweat of his paramount presence, are taking similar measures...

Even going so far as to stick both hands inside this special machine to better preserve the microscopic traces of sweat bequeathed by a man whose perspiration alone is a great inspiration to science.

China is truly in the springtime of its dynastic pretensions...

Party elite, day-trippers and low-end workers alike take delight in the fragrant essence of the motherland

What follows is a special in-depth CCTV report on Xinjiang, and the vast freedoms enjoyed there.
Feel free to create your own captions for the wondrous images presented below....

And that's it for today's news!

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