Thread by @AwakenedPineal

🧵
1/ Niamh, Ireland, on being a lesbian teen attending BeLonG To Charity Ladybirds LBT girls group for 14 to 23 yrs. Not female only. The friend who took me said it was a gay club where I could meet others . . .

(#WDI weekly Feminist Question Time)

2/ After 45 mins Tea & coffee mingling, BeLonG To Charity volunteer leaders sat us down. We had to state our name, pronouns, sexuality and a fact. 15 ppl went b4 me and all were trans identified. Niamh: I was uncomfortable, so embarrassed to say I’m just a girl, just a lesbian.

3/ The topics at BeLonG To Charity, with hindsight to Niamh, were very troubling for adults to be discussing with children. Niamh breaks down BeLonG To teenager indoctrination into the steps used by cults . . .

4/ Niamh: The Steps of mind control are: identify the recruit, persuade, Lovebombing is a huge part of it, selling the idea, 'tough love' which is separating them from their network which is a big part of BeLonG To Charity, renouncing, core beliefs & zero tolerance for criticism

5/ BeLonG To Charity go into schools in Dublin to give talks & teach staff inclusiveness. Niamh: Teenagers finding themselves are the more at risk people to be captured by ideologies. I noticed 80% attending this Belong To group had obvious eating disorders or were self harming

6/ Niamh: I was experiencing that (eating disorders / self harm) as well. The other teens in the BeLonG To group were not receiving outside therapy and only talked about their mental health whilst talking about gender identity. Belong To has a huge following on social media . .

7/ Niamh: BeLonG To reach young ppl including 11 yos. In 2021 they sent pledge packs to secondary schools asking children to normalise the use of pronouns. Concerning. children pledging allegiance to ideology. parents not informed. @TheCountessIE alerted
archive.is/djaXI

8/ Niamh: when I attended BeLonG To it was presented as a gay club. In terms of cults it comes across as a self help group, a safe space for young LGB ppl. The indoctrination began once you went in there, very quickly. Lovebombing included the leaders clapping and cheering ...

9/ Niamh: one time, when a trans identified teenage boy announced he was coming out as a lesbian, BeLonG To leaders, who were 25 + year olds , started to clap and ourselves to clap, cheer and celebrate this male coming out as a lesbian. If you didn't clap you were questioned why

10/ Niamh: coming out as trans, non binary or genderfluid in the BelonG To ladybirds girls group was a huge thing, massively celebrated with lots of attention. a huge part of the lovebombing was consistently hearing the words brave and beautiful.

11/ Niamh: Successful indoctrination requires the cult to sell the idea of a happy environment. A new recruit must be convinced to come again and again until they are part of the family. BeLonG To leaders said the door was always open....

12/ Niamh: BeLonG To Charity Ladybirds LBT girls group had no conversations about lesbians or bi women. Weekends were arranged for trans teenagers to go and talk about binding & other things.

13/ Niamh: Then it gets nasty. at my 2nd ladybirds session we were told ppl in the outside world might hate us, bc of our sexuality & identity. your parents, your friends might hate you, not believe you 'but BeLonG To is a safe space and is the ONLY safe space' was driven home

14/ Niamh: The outside world is going to hate you and BeLonG To is the only safe space. In Ireland I've never experienced hate bc I'm a lesbian, I've exp'd hate bc I'm a woman, shouted at in the street by men, general misogyny. I've never experienced true homophobia in Dublin

15/ Niamh: It's strange that BeLonG To was telling vulnerable teens, very obviously vulnerable teens with eating disorders and other mental health issues, that they were the only safe space, that family & friends would not be there for them or accept them & could even attack them

16/ Niamh: That's the BeLonG To carrot and stick. Showering with love when affirming identities was a huge part of it. Renouncing loved ones was distancing yourself from transphobes; blocking people online, stop talking to people in school.

17/ Niamh: I was called a transphobe at 17 and completely mortified bc I knew lots of trans ppl. I was called a transphobe for saying lesbians are not attracted to transwomen bc they are not female & lesbian is same sex attraction not same gender attraction.

18/ Niamh: I was silenced because I knew what a lesbian was. This is a recent campaign showing the renouncing aspect of BeLonG To: #BlockTheBad & #FeedTheGood. The bad is anyone who doesn't agree with what they say; that transwomen can be lesbians.

19/ Niamh: At BeLonG To we were expected to accept transwomen into lesbian spaces and as lesbians into our dating pool. If you didn't you were shunned from the group. No one was told off by the leaders for shunning someone in the group.

20/ Niamh: BeLonG To core beliefs. not mentioning lesbians, very little mention of gay men. The only time I saw lesbianism celebrated was when a male teenager came out as lesbian and we were expected to clap and cheer for that

20/ Niamh: one of the BeLonG To adults in the session was a trans identified female who'd just confirmed a date 4 double mastectomy, or as they like to glamourise it 'top surgery'. ofc they never mentioned the risks involved. We had to clap & cheer cutting off healthy breasts.

21/ Niamh: We were all v. excited for this person to get top surgery and live their authentic self. that was a buzz word used a lot. and that it was life saving, life affirming and that it was care for this person. an amazing thing that this woman was getting a double mastectomy

22/ Niamh: in the BeLonG To Charity Ladybirds LBT girls group, there was always talk about how a female person could change themselves to look more masculine but v. little talk about how males cld look more feminine. The teenage girls had obvious eating disorders and self harm.

23/ Niamh: in the BeLonG To Charity group, teenage girls were being taught how to bind their chest, where to buy packers, prosthetic penises to put in their underwear, to pass more as a man. They were telling 14 yo vulnerable girls this.

24/ Niamh: in the BeLonG To group all of the talk was about surgeries, how to fund them. BeLonG To say on their website they don't promote binders but in the ladybirds group they teach girls how to hide binders in the laundry w/o parents finding out

25/ Niamh: that was in my first BeLonG To session; where to buy binders, where to send them & how to hide them. Get binders sent to your friends house so that your parents don't see them arrive. If your parents do the laundry, wash your binder in the sink instead.

26/ Niamh: another huge part of the BeLonG To youth sessions was that detransitioners didn't exist. That's not my experience. there's a huge community. Anyone who detransitioned stopped going to BeLonG To as they were not welcome to be a butch lesbian or effeminate gay man

27/ Niamh: butch lesbians or effeminate gay men weren't accepted at BeLonG To in the same way they were when they were [previously] genderfluid or transgender

28/ Niamh: one of my best friends, a gay man, went to BeLonG To sessions at the same time as me. because he was effeminate and dressed flamboyantly, after attending BeLonG To sessions, he was convinced he was not a gay man but genderfluid. that lasted 2 years.

29/ Niamh: he was embraced in BeLonG To as genderfluid & one of the most popular. He lost a lot of friends coming out as a gay man & realising I'm just an effeminate gay man. He's still losing followers, getting blocked online by ppl we attended BeLonG To with

30/ Niamh: at BeLonG To, there was no way he could just be an effeminate gay man.... he must be something else.

31/ Niamh: likewise another friend, a straight woman, after sessions at BeLonG To, thought she might be non binary or genderfluid bc she liked to wear doc martins & baggy tshirts and didn't like wearing skirts or pink. she was convinced after 3 weeks she was not a girl.

32/ Niamh: Of the others I know from that time at BeLonG To, a total of 16 ppl identifying as trans or genderfluid, 13 desisted. BeLonG To tell us there are no desisters, no detransitioners. 81% is not a tiny minority.

33/ Niamh: I've been blocked by friends. none of the people I know from BeLonG To talk to me except my two good friends who I knew from outside. they will shun anyone who desists or dissents from what they say in the group

34/ Niamh: at the time of BeLonG To, I was still saying like oh a trans woman is a woman but lesbians are not attracted to them because they are not female. the mental gymnastics of that I can't really fully explain. I was 17 at the time. a male said I was transphobic

35/ Niamh: a trans identified male came out as a lesbian during the group and was celebrated. I didn't clap and I realised that BeLonG To was not a place for lesbians, it wasn't a place for me because I didn't believe that this person could be a lesbian

36/ Niamh: in the BeLonG To mingling sessions, adults the leaders would walk around the different cliques. you hear them talking about f*cking CIS people or 'f*cking heteros gross' and that was that was heard by the leaders and not stopped

37/ Niamh: it was just allowed to run rampant in BeLonG To, this narrative that CIS people were out to get us and hated us and I had to listen to that. I'm just a lesbian so I fell into the category of CIS. Non trans identified people were talked about with such vitriol

38/ Niamh: my straight friend was embraced massively at BeLonG To when she identified as Trans. When she desisted, she couldn't attend anymore because you were having to listen to people talk about CIS people like that and so negatively and that they were evil

39/ Niamh: it was like zero tolerance for anyone questioning BeLonG To, but then also allowing really negative talk about anyone outside so it was an Outsiders versus BeLonG To mentality and it was allowed to happen without consequence

40/ Niamh: my gay friend on his personal facebook, completely separate to BeLonG To, put up a post about how furries have nothing to do with being gay or lesbian why are they being grouped in with us. Someone identifying as a rodent, who also attended, reported him to BeLonG To

41/ Niamh: BeLonG forced him (my gay friend) to write an apology letter to the the person who believed they were a rat in the group and then they banned him from the group

42/ Niamh: in their annual report 2021 BeLonG To is
funded by the department of children and equality here in Ireland. they receive huge funding from the government. they also receive money through fundraising. they received just under a million euro through fundraising

41/ Niamh: In 2022 a huge grant was given to BeLonG To

In the 2022 annual report are survey results. I'm not sure why BeLonG To was surveying 11 to 14 year olds when the group is 14 to 23.

35% 11 year olds included in this survey, said they did not identify with their sex.

42/ Niamh: 35% of 11 to 22 year olds not identifying with their sex in the BeLonG To survey, is a stark no.

but

Of the 16 teens I knew who really truly believed who were looking into surgeries and got on waiting lists 4 hormones, only 3 remain identifying as transgender

43/ Niamh: the others desisted rather than de-transitioned. they didn't make it to the stage of taking hormones. It's 81 % but BeLonG To say there are no De trans, we have 2 support these teens as trans, help them w getting hormones, on GP waiting lists for gender affirming care

46/ Niamh: My last point. The starkness of how many children BeLonG To have interviewed who don't believe they are their biological sex, compared to the 81% that I knew.

BeLonG To doesn't have a space for lesbian and gay men who are gender non conforming

47/ Niamh: I did drink the BeLonG To Kool-Aid. I was fighting with my family about it I was saying that my
trans identified female partner from the time was of my boyfriend and there was many an argument in this
house over it.

48/ Niamh: now obviously I know that I'm actually just a lesbian and she was just (she has desisted) a bisexual who had short hair. we just had short hair
it's taken a long time to realise how insane all of this is

49/ Niamh: now I realise a TW cannot be a lesbian, a teen girl should not be told by BeLonG To adults how to bind her breasts or set up a GoFundMe or methods to become a man. it's taken a long time to get
myself out of that. thankfully I have and now I realise how damaging it is

50/ Niamh: that's why I speak up about it and speak up particularly about BeLonG To and the dangers of it, just because they are so heavily funded. BeLonG To and TENI are consulted about every policy in government and heavily by the department of children and equality in Ireland.

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