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Jun 7, 2023, 23 tweets

Can we talk about just how dang healthy the relationship in Love is Sweet is??

(I went full psych nerd on this one -- brace yourselves)

#Loveissweet #analysis 🧵

Yuan Shuai and Jiang Jun have one of the healthiest relationships ever put to screen and I will forever love them for that, but let's dive into why theirs stands apart when compared to other fictional couples.

1) Respect

We often see fictional couples that love and admire each other, but don't actually respect each other. This is tremendously common but not often considered in the world of fictional characters. Examples include situations like...

Domineering characters who make all the decisions for their counterpart without even asking them. Or characters who have trouble supporting or respecting the time and dedication their counterparts have in their careers.

Yuan Shuai and Jiang Jun, in a stark contrast to this, have insane amounts of respect for one another. Yuan Shuai constantly tells Jiang Jun that her decisions are hers and allows her to chase the things that are important to her.

Both of them support and give space for each other’s careers and the goals they have with them. And the two of them approached their relationship tentatively and with careful consideration for the other person's wants and needs before proceeding with it.

What we see with Yuan Shuai and Jiang Jun is two people who have a deep regard and understanding for the other person’s feelings, wishes, well-being, and general rights; and we see two people who act and proceed accordingly.

2) Communication

The two not only are a masterclass at keeping the other person informed of the day-to-day things, but they take extra care to communicate with each other about the deeper, more vulnerable subject matter as well.

This includes things like making sure their goals and intentions are clear to one another, making sure their duties and expectations of one another are clear, and making sure their emotions, desires, and affections are understood and acceptable to each other.

One example of this is, after their minor breakup, Jiang Jun makes a point to clarify exactly what their conflict was before moving on and reconciling with him. She ensures that they’re both on the same page and that they’re both in agreement before anything else continues.

In comparison, other fictional couples often fail miserably on all these levels.

Couples that end up in dangerous situations because they don’t communicate where, when, or why they’re going places.

Couples that don’t accurately express their concerns, worries, or situational problems, leading to lies and even separations.

Couples that don’t communicate how they actually feel, leading to areas of their lives filled with separation, confusion, frustration, and conflict.

For the most part, Yuan Shuai and Jiang Jun sidestep a lot of these pitfalls. But even when they do skirt them, their reconciliations are done so well and executed with such tact that it easily mends any prior rift with near perfection.

This is a concept that is often lost to other fictional couples, whose reconciliations are often nothing more than a wordless kiss or a bouquet of flowers, with zero communication or mutual understanding of the actual problem they just encountered.

3) A-Frame vs H-Frame

Another aspect of the Yuan Shuai and Jiang Jun relationship that needs to be commended is their overall relationship dynamic, mainly how they sidestep dangerous waters like codependency and the whirlwind romance.

Yuan Shuai and Jiang Jun are what psychologists would call an H-frame relationship, two people who can function and thrive independently, but choose to partner up out of their mutual affection and desire to share life experiences together.

Alternatively, an unhealthy relationship (and the type of relationship you see most often in fiction), is what is called an A-frame relationship, two people who cannot live without the other person and would completely collapse without the other person holding them up.

Yuan Shuai and Jiang Jun also avoid what is known as the whirlwind romance - two people who meet, fall instantly head over heals for each other in a wild rush of emotion, but don't take time think about or process the consequences of their romance by disregarding any red flags.

This is by far the most common relationship we see in the genre, but it is also the most likely of relationships to fail in the long run. By not taking the time to evaluate the relationship, and instead going from 0-60 in a matter of days, they rely more on feeling than fact.

Yuan Shuai take things slow, they both spend time considering and reflecting what their relationship would mean and they take the time to get to know each other extremely well before opening the doors to a romantic relationship.

Unlike a lot of the fictional couples, Yuan Shuai and Jiang Jun manage to avoid so many dangerous traps that others fall into. They respect each other, they listen and communicate well, they take care to reflect on their relationship, and they have healthy rules and boundaries.

After a string of watching content with some really unhealthy relationships (looking at you, Goblin and TTEOTM), I can't express how much of a breath of fresh air these two are.

Applause to you both. You get ten gold stars.

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