Oh come on, don't make me do this, please. The sun is shining, and it's a nice da... MALE SEA OTTERS DROWN FEMALES AND USE THEIR CARCASSES FOR SEX UNTIL THE FALL APART. DON'T BE FOOLED, THEY ARE ABSOLUTE FURRY ARSEHOLES.
Carry on.
Oh screw it.
Bottlenose dolphins form gangs and kidnap teenage female dolphins to sexually assault.
Fuck you Flipper.
Adelie Penguins masturbate openly, engage in transactional sex, and sometimes shag dead penguins.
Didn't see that with Morgan Freeman voice over.
Male lions eat baby lions if they think they are not the father. Chimps do too. Absolute bastards.
I'm very hot and tired.
Hermaphrodite flatworms Pseudobiceros
hancockanus mate with an aggressive head-to-head wrestle - ‘penis fencing’. The winner pierces the head of the loser who becomes the sperm receptacle and egg bearer.
Bedbugs Cimex lectularius isn't that fussed about a specific entrance for sexual penetration. Males pierce the abdomen of a mate with a scythe-like aedeagus (equivalent to a penis), sperm will find their way to the eggs via internal organs. We call this ‘traumatic insemination’.
Male cuttlefish Sepia plangon look for opportunistic sex by changing colour patterns on the side facing the dominant males so that it resembles a female, and thus get ignored. Officially called ‘kleptogamy’ –stolen mating– but is universally known as ‘sneaky fucker strategy’.
That is quite enough.
Remember: Nature is not cute, it's grim, and otterly indifferent to your emotions.
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND.
Here's my book on this matter, a deeply humanist book, full of love of humankind, and nature. HONESTLY.
adamrutherford.com/bookofhumans
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