Mehran Jalali Profile picture
Doer of things

Sep 26, 2023, 16 tweets

Last Saturday, 65 of us made a five-star steak dinner for 100+ guests at New York's highest-rated steakhouse: Mehran's Steak House

The full story:


It all started in a hacker house in New York's Upper East Side. I started living there in November 2021 and started cooking steaks for people every other week. @tydannysaurus put the house as "Mehran's Steak House" on Google Maps, and all of our friends started leaving reviews

@tydannysaurus After a week, a couple walked into our house and asked for the steakhouse. We pretended like we didn't know what was going on, but realized that we could turn it into a real thing.

@rtwlz made a website with a waitlist, and a message that we're booked for several months

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz From May 2022 to Sep 2023, over 900 parties added their names and numbers to the waitlist. Classic upper east side steakhouse-going crowd: lawyers, bankers, artists, etc.

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz We secured a venue back in June, for Saturday, September 23rd.

Early August, we started calling people from the waitlist. Since we didn't live in the UES anymore, we told them that we had an unexpected opening at our "secret, unadvertised location in East Village"

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz Around 140 people made reservations.

We also called our friends, and 65 of them agreed to come help with the dinner. People came from all over the place: California, Canada, Mexico, etc. Friends from Iran, high school friends, New York friends, SF friends -- all came together.


@tydannysaurus @rtwlz By Saturday noon, all of our friends were at the venue, and we were all assembling the rented equipment and preparing the food.

The quantities were crazy: 70 chairs, 35 tables, 110 lbs of steak, 50 lbs of potatoes, 40 lbs of garlic, etc etc.

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz Basically none of us had worked in a restaurant before, so we had to rethink what we needed from first principles, and forgot some important stuff (like 20 lbs of butter, or plate heaters) along the way that we had to rush to purchase.

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz @ansonyuu devised a ticketing system on the fly that was finalized 5 minutes before guests started coming in.

What we lacked in experience, we made up for in overstaffing and first principles thinking!

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz @ansonyuu Guests started coming in at 5:30pm.

When they entered, they were greeted by absurdities:
- a group of fangirls cheering for Drake (he wasn't there)
- pictures of me with JFK, Al Capone, Albert Einstein, the Clintons, etc
- huge posters of allegedly "older menus"


@tydannysaurus @rtwlz @ansonyuu - a bust of my face
- orchestral versions of songs by Rick Astley, Cardi B, etc

...and an absurd menu titled "The Bovine Circle of Life" that was laser-etched on a 15"-diameter laser-cut piece of wood

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz @ansonyuu The meal started with a grassy salad representing the beginning of life. Then veal representing the cow's childhood, along with bruschetta symbolizing the whole farm. The zenith is the steak and potatoes, and then there's angel and devil's food cake, representing the afterlife.

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz @ansonyuu Customers could select from 3 types of wine, or "a tall glass of milk" (which several people ordered!)

Everyone (including the sommeliers) had to learn the proper procedures and etiquette in just a few hours

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz @ansonyuu The diners had a great time. Someone told me they had the best steak of their life, and "I wouldn't change a single thing about it"

Some people delightedly caught on to the bit, but mostly people just had a really great meal with a ton of absurdities happening around them

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz @ansonyuu Over the course of the night:
- a very awkward proposal was staged
- 2 people purchased the wooden menus for $75 each
- a couple dined and dashed
- people asked me about the chronologically-absurd pictures, to whom I recommended they move past the linear concept of time

@tydannysaurus @rtwlz @ansonyuu Everyone had a great time and I'm so thankful for our 60+ friends that made everything so great!

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