Thread by @maxseddon

It’s time for the annual Putin presser and phone-in, combined into one – the first time he’s done it since the invasion of Ukraine.

Pavel Zarubin is showing off a huge pile of questions supposedly sent in by ordinary Russians. Expect this to be even more stage-managed than usual

Zarubin, the Swiftie-esque Putin fanboy who is moderating this, says some questions have been resolved already. "In the morning I complained I hadn't been paid my salary, and by the evening I got it!", one ordinary Russian supposedly said.

Putin says Russia has "strengthened its sovereignty," and seen off a sanctions onslaught from the west. Putin credits the "high consolidation of Russian society" and "stability of the financial-economic system."

Putin, sitting with his trusty presidential thermos, reels off a ream of economic statistics – from a sheet, though in years past he's memorized them in advance.

He says Russia's GDP will be up 3.5% year-on-year and stable growth is guaranteed, even with inflation at 7.5-8%.

Putin says there will be peace with Ukraine "only when we achieve our goals [...] and those goals have not changed."

They still include the "de-Nazification" and "demilitarization" of Ukraine – i.e. a total capitulation to Russia.

Putin also sounds confident that western military support for Ukraine is drying up.

"Ukraine produces almost nothing today, everything is coming from the west, but the free stuff is going to run out some day, and it seems it already is," he says.

A message from the "Veterans Battalion," which is named after Putin – the troops have his picture on their insignia. Audible gunfire in the background.

They complain the various groups fighting in Ukraine aren't all getting the same benefits. Putin promises to sort this out.

Already we are on the history rant stage of this:
– The 3rd round of the 2004 Ukrainian election was irregular
– "Odessa is a Russian city and everyone knows that"
– discussion of the Russo-Turkish wars in the 19th century
– everything is America's fault and also Lenin's

Putin crows at length about Ukraine's battlefield failures.

"The enemy announced a big counteroffensive. none of it worked anywhere," he said. "I don't even know why they do this. They are just sending their men out to be destroyed. It's a one-way ticket."

Turkish media get a question about Gaza.

"What is happening is a catastrophe," Putin says. "Look at the special military operation and what is happening in Gaza and feel the difference. Nothing like that is happening in Ukraine."

A *lot* of questions from people in the patchwork quilt of Russian volunteer units in Ukraine complaining about not getting benefits.

Note the brass knuckle tattoo in the background here – itself a sign of where Russia is as a society nearly two years into the invasion.

"In Russia there are many hackers sitting at home, and some of them are in prison for hacking. We must unite them and create something new! All that talent is going to waste!"

"Teach children to believe"

For some reason Putin memorized statistics about how many people are taking inter-city buses and looks very pleased he remembered them

"PAIN"

Asked about runaway egg prices, Putin says: "I asked the agriculture minister how his eggs," which in Russian also mean his balls, "are doing, and he said they were fine."

"I enjoy scrambled eggs myself," Putin adds. "Back in the day I could put 10 eggs away in one morning."

Asked by @VALERIEinNYT when he'll release WSJ's Evan Gershkovich, held in Russian prison on absurd espionage charges, Putin says Russia and the US are in talks about an exchange.

"We are ready to return US citizens, but the conditions need to be mutually acceptable," he says.

@VALERIEinNYT Putin takes a question from an AI-generated "resident of St Petersburg" who asks him if it's true he has lots of body doubles.

Putin, evidently looking to put rumors about this to bed, says "I have decided the only one who looks like me and speaks with my voice should be me"

@VALERIEinNYT "We came here without any questions, because we don't have any! We just wanted to say thank you for making Luhansk part of the Russian Federation!"

@VALERIEinNYT