In today's edition of "libertarians are ridiculous people," we examine noted crank Ammon Bundy. After going on the run from police, Bellingcat geolocated him to (are you sitting down?) Utah.
I wouldn't normally comment, only the self-awareness issues on display are astounding🧵
For those unfamiliar with him, Bundy espouses an apocalyptic ideology which sees divine providence in, of all things, the rather famously-secular U.S. Constitution.
By amazing coincidence, the one place in the world divined by God to spawn the Kingdom of Heaven is the very country in which Bundy himself happens to live.
Bundy adheres to a libertarian philosophy which demands he live in complete freedom and autonomy from the state, except it has to be in a highly-complex political economy which somehow produces an abundant supply of flannel shirts at a reasonable price.
Among the many things from which Bundy is on the run, one is a $50m defamation judgment resulting from a campaign of harassment against a hospital after Bundy, as one does, accused it of complicity in child trafficking.
The hospital had the temerity to take custody of a literal baby after the pernicious U.S. government discovered the child to be extremely malnourished. As any reasonable person would agree, every baby has a god-given right to starve himself if he damn-well pleases.
Anyway, about ten years ago, Bundy got into some trouble after launching a rebellion against the government to defend his right to [checks notes] enjoy special state subsidies for himself that nobody else can obtain.
[taps sign]
After getting off with the absurdly lenient punishment of community service, Bundy decided, no, he would not agree to provide this modest service to the community and tried to substitute the hours he had spent on his own personal thing to see if that would count.
Credit to Bellingcat for geolocating Bundy, who is apparently unaware of what the internet is, after the guy posted a bunch of videos proudly displaying clues giving away his precise location. Who'da thunk that filming a video driving the suburbs in your truck would expose you?
Now that it looks like the law may finally catch up to him, let us pray that others might someday follow in Bundy's proud footsteps and violently rebel against the government to defend our right to get free shit.
/end
Share this Scrolly Tale with your friends.
A Scrolly Tale is a new way to read Twitter threads with a more visually immersive experience.
Discover more beautiful Scrolly Tales like this.