Thread by @RandPaul

I'm BACK. I'm not as back as the Trump folks; they're SO back. I'm just back.

What are some of your Festivus traditions? Tell us in the replies! I tried to get feats of strength on the Senate floor as a tradition, but since everyone else is over 80, there weren't many takers.

Quick, who has the higher average age, the Senate or the top touring musical acts of 2024? They have Jagger, Richards, Springsteen, and Dylan, but we have Grassley. It's a tough call.

Speaking of my friend @ChuckGrassley, has anyone considered an age limit for posting on X? Chuck, no one even knows what the History channel is anymore. You can settle down.

@ChuckGrassley The other Chuck (Schumer) was trying to joke with me the other day that my amendment to fix Social Security got only 3 votes. Well, Chuck, that's 3 more people who won't be sad when you're no longer the leader in January.

@ChuckGrassley We are also seeing the end of an era, a new Republican Majority for the first time in nearly a century not led by Mitch McConnell. I don't want to tell Mitch it's time to retire, but his best job offer so far is a reboot of Tales from the Crypt.

It's getting time to take a quick break for a snack…But I must admit that I'm even more paranoid about the new Make America Healthy Again. Can I have my pretzels? Is the bread I'm using okay, or does it have seed oils? There needs to be a hotline so everyone can call Bobby Kennedy and find out what is allowed.

@ChuckGrassley But I can tell you this: He will pry the Diet Coke out of my cold, dead hands.

Bobby is part of a wave of recent MAGA converts who bring new ideas that maybe weren't part of MAGA or even the Republican Party—things like less war, more civil liberties, and food freedom. There used to be a word for folks who believed in those things.  What did they call them again?  Oh, right, Democrats.  But thanks to the Clintons, Bidens, and others, that kind of freedom is no longer allowed in their party.

@ChuckGrassley Speaking of Bobby, I guess I should deal with some of the other Trump cabinet picks.

@ChuckGrassley Our new Secretary of Education made her money in professional wrestling as Chair of WWE. So Linda McMahon is PERFECT for politics. They are a bunch of overamped loudmouths following their script and pretending they are shocked by the outcome.

@ChuckGrassley I do have some faith the new Congress will work against that stereotype, with Republicans in control of the House and Senate, and myself, Mike Lee, Ted Cruz, Jim Jordan, and others serving and becoming Committee Chairmen.

@ChuckGrassley Okay, not complete faith in Ted, but you get the point.

@ChuckGrassley Quick aside — tell me John Thune doesn't look like he would be cast in the Hallmark Movie about Congress at Christmas.

@ChuckGrassley The power some of us will have must be used for good — like putting Fauci in jail.

@ChuckGrassley Fauci actually had an overlap with another project of mine….not only was he the COVID villain, but he was also involved in animal testing — IN PUPPIES. You could not make up a more evil government employee.

@ChuckGrassley Of course, evil is only one part of their MO. Some of it is just sheer stupidity.

@ChuckGrassley That's why this Festivus waste report has become a yearly tradition and why I'll work with Congress and the incoming Trump administration to cut this waste. Here are some more of the worst examples.

@ChuckGrassley I'll be back later today. In the meantime, put up your Festivus pole and try to relax a little on this wonderful holiday. 

Or, air your own grievances, if you want. It's entirely up to you.