Folks often don’t understand the rather complex and deep rules of etiquette in the rural South.
We believe in showing respect the way our mama taught us to, so here are some rules that might help you understand our ways. 🧵
Understanding inside-outside etiquette is a good start. Inside a place of public gathering (unless only men are gathered, like a barber shop or old-time coffee shop at 6AM), the hat comes OFF.
On the inside of a home, it’s polite to offer to take off your boots. But it’s less polite to take a guest up on their offer. Your floors aren’t as important as their hassle.
Acknowledging people’s presence or existence is key to Southern etiquette. To act as though someone isn’t there is tantamount to hatred.
You nod (head going up) to those you recognize.
You nod (head going down) to those you don’t.
There are different rules for this on the road. When going in different directions, you finger-wave from the steering wheel.
One finger = I acknowledge you
Two fingers = Hey, buddy!
Pointing directly at the other driver = I love ya, brother!
Especially true for gravel.
There’s lot of road etiquette. If someone slows down when approaching you in the other lane (on smaller roads and streets), you stop. They want to chat.
When driving by and someone is in their yard, if they look up, wave. If not, they’ll wonder what your dang problem is.
If there’s a funeral procession, no matter how long it is, and no matter how busy you are, pull over to show your respect.
One of my wife’s cousins turned around to go fight someone who didn’t pull over at their grandma’s funeral. It’s very disrespectful.
See a cop on the side of the road? Flash your lights three time to those passing in the other direction. We don’t like the Smokeys.
See a deer by the road? Flash twice.
It’s not as impolite in the South, as it is other places, to knock on someone’s door unannounced. I used to do door-to-door sales in Arkansas. Tons of folks let you in and offer you tea before they even ask who you are.
But do yourself a favor. After you knock on a stranger’s door, take one step off the porch to not be intimidating, because 100% there’s a gun behind that door. You don’t want us startled.
When addressing people, we don’t do that pronoun garbage.
You call women older than you, ‘ma’am.’ Women younger than you, ‘miss.”
Ladies will usually call you ‘sir’ if you’re older, but if you’re younger, don’t be surprised to be called ‘sugar’ or ‘baby’ or ‘darlin.’
Live in the Bible Belt? Watch your mouth. Don’t swear in front of ladies. And turn your ghetto blaster down. Nobody wants to hear your vulgar rap music at the stoplight.
Opening doors is important.
Open store doors for all women no matter their age, for everyone older than you no matter their gender, and for everyone else within a few feet behind you.
Carry a gun wherever a lot of people are present, especially church. Be discreet. That’s something you do to protect people who can’t protect themselves.
A lot of ladies keep them in their purses and diaper bags.
See someone broken down out in the country, a good distance from town? You stop…especially if it’s a lady.
Don’t get out, because you don’t want to frighten them. Just ask if they need help or to borrow a phone.
If you don’t do that, that’s scumbag territory.
The American South is a very special place. Its etiquette is deep and sometimes complicated…but always sincere.
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