Thread by @DarrenBar88

#LongCovid and heavy metal.

How this disease has changed my relationship with the music that I love.

This may seem niche 😁🤘 But stay with me. This is a story about passion, loss and the huge impact that long covid has on our lives

🧵

I fell in love with metal when I was about 15.

Before that I liked pop such as Erasure and er, Jive Bunny 😳

Queen were my gateway into rock, but it didn't take long before I was listening to really heavy stuff as I headed into the murky world of Thrash, Doom & Death Metal.

I just loved it. Something clicked. I couldn't get enough of it.

I started buying whatever I could afford, borrowing LPs from the library (yes, our library really stocked Cannibal Corpse LPs!).

I started going to gigs.

My whole world began to revolve around it.

It has dominated my life ever since.

I've been to countless gigs.

Spent far too much money on CDs & LPs.

I've played in metal bands for 30 years, recorded albums, toured. Lived the dream. Ha!

I've never stopped loving it. Even now it fires me up. It is an absolute passion.

But then I got ill with #LongCovid.

The most immediate impact was that I could no longer go to gigs or play in my band.

The last gig I played was early in my #LongCovid illness - before my health subsequently declined.

This was a memorial show for one of my best mates and the singer in my long time band Conquest of Steel.

This was a hard gig to play. Physically and emotionally.

I tried to put the gig off knowing I'd struggle to do it.

I rehearsed sat down, hunched over my guitar completely exhausted by trying to do this.

I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but in the end I did what I shouldn't have done and pushed through...

The gig was as exhausting as I anticipated.

It landed me in bed for days, my body completely wracked with fatigue.

For my health I shouldn't have done it.

But for my friend I'm glad I did.

We gave him a great send off ❤ 🤘

So that was the last gig I played. Possibly ever will play.

My current band are carrying on but I can't rehearse with them or play live. I rarely pick up my guitar.

#LongCovid has stolen my metal band life from me.

#LongCovid has also changed the music I listen to.

I'm really sensitivite to sound and noise. The more fatigued I am the worse it is.

I find it difficult to be around the kids because of it and often need to leave a busy room and go somewhere quiet to rest.

Listening to faster, heavier metal can be almost painful at times.

I can still listen to it when I'm having a better day, earlier in the day or in short bursts.

But I also need to listen at lower volumes.

That's not right though - metal needs to be played LOUD!!! 😁🤘

Now I'm more drawn to slower, more melancholic forms of metal and rock, sometimes even metal-adjacent acoustic music.

I've always liked slow, emotionally engaging metal but it's increasingly the main thing I listen to.

This may have happened anyway as I got older and mellower (ha!) and chose different types of music to listen to.

But this is not happening because of my choices.

#LongCovid is choosing for me.

I also don't have the energy to sit and listen to as much music as I'd like.

Sometimes I can only manage a few tracks. Maybe half an album, maybe one side of a single.

I love it when I'm well enough to sit and get totally absorbed in the music. It really keeps me going.

Why does any of this matter?

It matters because one of the most important things to me - my passion for music - is being hugely affected by this disease.

It matters because the choice to play or listen to the music that I love is being taken away from me.

It matters because there are millions of people worldwide having similar experiences - they too are losing their passions or the things they love.

It matters because it doesn't have to be like this.

It matters because we need our lives back.

It matters. Full stop.

And because it matters, it's time for governments to act.

#FundResearch #FindTreatmentsNow