Thread by @clarenafo

Inspired by @MattPPea and just for a bit of fun, I asked ChatGPT a similar question about vatnik rules. It produced these responses. Here's a thread:

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Rule #1:
“Whatever a vatnik accuses others of, they are doing themselves.”
Classic projection. Nazis? Genocide? Censorship? Look in the mirror.

Rule #2:
“When Russia commits a war crime, accuse Ukraine of doing it first.”
A preemptive propaganda move. Bomb a hospital? Accuse Ukraine of doing it. Stage a massacre? Blame the victims.
(See: Bucha, Mariupol maternity hospital, Kakhovka Dam)

Rule #3:
“Every Russian military failure is actually part of a clever plan.”
Snake Island? A feint. Kherson retreat? Strategic regrouping. Moskva sinking? Fire safety drill.

Rule #4:
“Maps are always lying unless they show Russia winning.”
Losses are “regroupings,” gains are “liberations,” and anything else is “fake NATO propaganda.”

Rule #5:
“Any Ukrainian success is due to NATO/mercenaries/satanism.”
Ukraine can’t possibly win on merit. So victories are blamed on CIA plots, foreign fighters, or demonic rituals.

Rule #6:
“Russia is simultaneously fighting NATO and losing to Ukraine.”
Mental gymnastics: Russia is heroically resisting the entire West, but definitely not losing to Ukraine.

Rule #7:
“All opposition to Russia is either Russophobia or fascism.”
Criticise Russia? You're a Nazi or a paid Western agent. There is no middle ground.

Rule #8:
“Russia is always winning, no matter what the facts say.”
Lost a city? It wasn’t important. Got pushed back 100 km? The lines were overextended.
(Also known as: Copium Command Doctrine)

Rule #9:
“Every Ukrainian civilian is secretly a Nazi combatant.”
That’s how they justify war crimes—targeting civilians under the excuse that “they’re all Nazis anyway.”

Rule #10:
“Reality is whatever the Kremlin says today—even if it contradicts yesterday.”
Consistency isn’t required. Vatnik memory resets every morning with the new party line.

Bonus Rule (NAFO Core Doctrine):
“Don’t argue with vatniks—mock them.”

You can’t reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into. But you can use memes, facts, and laughter to strip their narrative of power.