My parents were married for 33 years.
I never once heard the word “Divorce” in our house.
Not during fights, money stress, hard seasons. Never.
Before my wedding, my father pulled me aside and said a few things that still live in my head to this day....
1. "The foundation is not love. It is respect.
Love is the weather. It changes.
Respect is the ground you build on."
He explained that intense romantic love comes and goes in seasons.
What keeps a house standing through all seasons is the unshakeable mutual respect between the man and the woman.
You must guard her respect for you with your conduct, and you must show respect for her in your words and actions, especially when you disagree.
Without that ground, the house falls.
2. "You are the thermostat. She is the thermometer."
Your wife will reflect the emotional temperature you set.
If you are anxious, she will become chaotic. If you are calm and assured, she will find peace. If you are bitter, the home will be sour.
It is your primary job to manage the climate of your own soul, because that will become the climate of your home.
Do not blame the thermometer for the reading.
3. "Never let her fight alone."
Even if you privately think she is overreacting, even if her family is the problem, you stand beside her in public.
You present a united front. You handle disagreements with her in private.
A man who contradicts his wife in front of others, or leaves her to face conflict alone, does not understand his role as protector.
This public loyalty builds an immense private trust.
4. "The most dangerous phrase is 'I deserve...'"
He warned against the mentality of entitlement. "I deserve to be happy. I deserve a better wife. I deserve to relax."
This mindset, he said, is a cancer that focuses you on what you are not getting.
The healing mindset is one of duty and gratitude. "What does my family deserve from me? I am grateful for what I have."
The first mindset leads to resentment. The second leads to fulfillment.
5. "Your children will learn what love is by watching you love her."
He said this was his greatest motivation. The way you speak to your wife, the way you look at her, the way you prioritize her, is the primary model your children will internalize.
Your sons will learn how to be men. Your daughters will learn what to accept from a man.
You are not just a husband. You are the architect of the next generation’s relational blueprint. Build well.
The Dating Algorithm teaches you:
• How to understand women psychology and sexuality
• How to speak Womanese language
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