Thread by @leeseongwee

#USA #Artemis2 “The Unserious Lunar De-adventure” for @NASA from those who grew up on #Apollo memories…

In Florida’s humid cradle, where gators and many others dream of flight,
Sits that Lunar Rocket Ship, the giant, tall and proud and white.
We filled her up with Hydrogen, LOX, and MAXI hopes galore,
Then the rascal Helium squeaked, “Not today, fellas, I’m wheezing out the door.”

A whisper? No!, a sputter?, Nooo, an audible uninterrupted farty flow,
The upper stage just shrugged and said, “I guess we’ll never go.”
We need to roll back to the VAB, oh fearful Beast of Chrome,
Your launch date’s now a myth, like February 30th. Can we just stay at home?

March, the nth date slipped away like vapor in the noonday sun,
April First is calling! WAIT… Is this that cheeky one?
The day of perfect cosmic jest, the universe’s cruel art:
We’ll launch on April Fool’s Day… or deliver the “we were just kidding” fart.

The 4 astronauts are waiting nervously, helmets in their laps,
Dreaming of the far side while sipping coffee and beer on taps.
“Will we reach the moon? Should be easy, right? We’ve done it so many times before.”
“Nah,” says Helium, “we’re still fixing leaks and expect some more.”

So here’s to NASA’s wonderful stories, to engineers who swear,
To seals that weep some 50 years later, to valves that gasp for air.
You chase the moon with billions and a mission meant to re-excite,
But every time you’re ready… something springs a new delight.

@threadreaderapp please unroll