Hey everyone I'm a clown and I just got back from facepainting at a picnic and here's my take on male violence in America:
It starts young. And it's more than just letting boys play with guns, it's how we shame them for feeling anything that isn't anger.
A 4yo boy asked me to paint a blue butterfly on his face. Then his mom told me "no, he doesn't want that."
"Butterflies are beautiful, he said that's what he wants, shouldn't I paint what he wants?"
"No give him something for boys"
She turns to dad, a big guy in a jersey, and says accusingly,
"Do you want your son to have a butterfly on his face?"
He says "No."
Which, cool, let's bring your husbands masculinity into it too. Because your 4yo kid needs to know that his father would be ashamed too
I really tried you guys, but this woman was so scared of her son wanting a butterfly she made me paint a skull and crossbones on his cheek.
When I finished the skull I said to kiddo
"You want a little blue butterfly too?"
He nods.
Mom interrupts "You didn't ask me."
I say in my kindest fuck you voice
"Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was for HIM."
"I'm his MOTHER. You need to ask me." She says.
"SORRY." I say and wave good bye to the kid. And I am. I'm sorry that he is not allowed to love something as miraculous and beautiful as a 🦋
I'm sorry that he was shamed for wanting to share in the joy that is the miracle and wonder of nature.
I see this all the time. And I really feel for these boys, because the girls don't get it as bad. Being a tomboy is slightly more normalized
And when girls want skulls or sharks the parents shrug and laugh like "haha she's a kooky kid!" Because maleness and masculinity isn't a sin
But when a boy want to enjoy something for its beauty, they are told it's not for them. Not in this house. Not in this family.
We are teaching them that anger & violence r the only things they are allowed to experience. That to value beauty & elegance is shameful
I know that it was just facepaint, but that's sort of my point. Why in the hell are these parents shaming their boys over FACEPAINT
Honestly don't even get me started on the balloons.
So the next time you are incredulous about how the govt could shut down our national parks, or build the pipeline, or nuke the planet...
Think about what this four year old boy asked for 🦋
And what he got ☠️
Epilogue: the mom complained to my boss 🤷♀️
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