Thread by @37paday

1/ Welcome to Friday in the independent republic of Brexitlandia 🎇

2/ There was much rejoicing in Brexitlandia today because Brexitlandia agreed an agreement in principle with the EU (in legal terms, non-binding and therefore subject to change) on phase 1 of Brexitlandia's withdrawal from the EU😀

3/ The curious bystander will be relieved that the deal struck today will allow many officials on both sides time for last minute Christmas shopping 🎁and that an understanding has been reached that there should be mutual respect until at least 1 Jan 2018🤝

4/ The keen reader will observe that the Government is hailing this as a significant achievement for the Maybot finally allowing both sides to move on to future trade talks (wilfully ignoring Barnier's comment that the phase 2 talks still relate to withdrawal only) 🤔

5/ The reader would note that much progress has been made on citizens' rights but would note that citizens are still in limbo and actual certainty has not been given to any of them (yet) 🧐

6/ Those with an interest will note that if you happen to be born in Belfast you will be able to continue being an EU citizen, those born in 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🇬🇮 will not. A curious outcome for those who took the referendum to apply to the entire UK 🤫

7/ The rabid ECJ will continue to have a role for a further 8 years leading some to speculate that perhaps an 8 year transition is the minimum contemplated 🤨

8/ On the financial aspects the UK has committed to paying what most people would consider a 💩load of money. The precise figure does not matter because even £1 is more than the Leave side said would be payable during the referendum. 😘

9/ In the grand scheme of the world and trading arrangements it is a small amount but the taxpayer would be forgiven for wondering why it is a good idea to pay money just to be able to negotiate an inferior arrangement with the world's largest market 🧙‍♂️

10/ A dedicated follower of the Brexit process would be most fascinated by paragraphs 49-51 of the joint report by the EU and Brexitlandia which in true Maybot style avoid making an actual decision on Brexit 😏

11/ Notable is that the obligations fall on the UK to avoid a hard border which is reasonable given this whole mess has been caused by the UK deciding to leave without a plan🤪

12/ Indeed the UK would appear to have agreed that the fall back is full alignment with the single market and customs union if a solution cannot be found. To the untrained eye that would suggest if there is no deal, the UK agrees to abide by SM and CU rules as a rule taker 🙄

13/ That would imply that in a no deal scenario not only is the UK a rule taker but it cannot have any trade deals come into effect with any other country if that would undermine the SM/CU 😵

14/ Knowledgable commentators would also note that some third party countries have "MFN" clauses with the EU in their FTAs which means if the EU gives the UK better terms it has to give them to the third party countries too. The EU may not want to do so😕

15. This could be a problem for the "deep and special relationship" the Maybot wants given 80% of the UK economy is services based which would be harmed by no deal or an FTA deal that does not cover services 😤- especially if the EU does not want to give third countries the same

16/ So the default position is that the UK would follow SM/CU with no say on the rules. The good news is that hopefully prevents a hard Brexit (though nothing is agreed). 😏

17/ The bad news is that when the "classless" @bernardjenkin the Ghost of Victorian past @Jacob_Rees_Mogg realise this they will froth at the mouth in fury. Luckily the Sith Lord @SteveBakerHW has endorsed the outcome so it would be considered poor form to row back from that 😒

18/ The ultra Brexiters are also likely to 🤯when they note that the only way to avoid the outcome of following SM/CU is to actually provide workable solutions rather than their usual verbal "arse gruel". Para 49 puts the obligation solely on the UK to propose solutions 🔑

19/ No doubt that will not stop them whingeing when their pie in the sky ideas are laughed at by people who actually read and understand laws but politically it makes the point it is for the UK to find solutions to a problem it created 😘

20/ So if a solution cannot be found, the UK will follow the EU rules. This may then lead to the UK considering staying in the SM and CU is a better option if it means having a say in the rules. Or it may not given that would be a logical conclusion👊👊👊

21/ Detailed followers will note an awful lot of control is given to Northern Ireland on all of this (in addition to £1.5bn). 😱

22/ The wry observer will note that the UK has in taking back control given up control of quite a lot of money, its only land border with the EU and if no deal the laws that will apply to it. 😱😱😱😱🤢🤢

23/ The EU admitted that it had conceded that it had not yet asked the UK to pay for the relocation costs of the various EU agencies leaving the UK and casually announced the world's largest free trade deal with Japan (whose carmakers are mostly in the UK) 💥

24/ But to end the thread on a positive note, today's sticking plaster on a bleeding artery means the Maybot will stay as PM, the Tory party has not yet destroyed itself (that is for 2018) and the UK now has a choice of whether it wants to be 🇨🇦 or 🇳🇴

25/ @jeremycorbyn noted that a UK/EU deal should be based on solidarity, mutual benefit, fair trade and proactive internationalism

26/ The man on his fifth pint of Snakebite & Black may wonder whether that sounds rather like being in the EU & on today's evidence maybe that is better than what the UK has conceded so far. 🤫

27/ Apologies - in tweet 6 I meant 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿and not 🇬🇧.