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Tabby Ellis Ross @Sweetest_Taboo_
, 12 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Let's talk about toxic masculinity and "toxic femininity" today.

FIRST OFF: The phrase 'toxic masculinity' did not originate in feminist circles. It was coined by a MAN named Shepherd Bliss, who used it to refer to "the social pressurrs placed upon men to be violent,
Competetive, independent, and unfeeling" which he contrasted with a deeper, "real" masculinity men have lost (think warrior vs farmer).

So men first coined the term, and then feminists found it and started using it WITHOUT changing its meaning.
Thus, the phrase 'toxic masculinity' isn't an intrinsic condemnation of men as a whole. It refers to a set of negative ideals that men are socially forced to adhere to or be made to feel 'less than' as a man.

In simpler terms, toxic masculinity = being a 'real man' (eye roll)
Here are some examples of toxic masculinity: the idea that men shouldn't show emotions, should be dominant and aggressive at all times, be financially supportive, etc. And if you fail at these things, your manhood is invalidated.

So now let's talk about 'toxic femininity.'
There have always been myths surrounding the social role of women that can fall under 'toxic femininity': being nurturing, sexy, charming, graceful, demure, subtle, poised, and selfless always; essentially, being an object for others.

Feminism is in direct opposition to this.
The phrase 'toxic femininity' can be used to describe these myths, but it's a bit of a misnomer and here's why: the societal ideals for women were overwhelmingly created BY men, and are complementary to the ideals of toxic masculinity.
In other words, men have always been people, but women have traditionally been foils (see: Eve for Adam). Toxic masculinity defines gender roles for both men and women.

The irony here is that 'toxic femininity,' is not a real term on its own, but a foil to 'toxic masculinity.'
Feminism promotes the idea that people can be who they want to be outside of traditional gender roles or 'toxic masculinity.' feminism advocates that ALL people be seen as individuals with healthy masculine and feminine traits.
The majority of people who use the phrase 'toxic femininity' are MRAs trying to discredit the concept of toxic masculinity.

We already have terms for 'toxic femininity,' and they are the concepts of relational aggression, benevolent sexism, and internalized misogyny.
In summation, the term 'toxic femininity' as it is being used on the internets is ironically inherently sexist and seeks to derail the conversation. Don't use it. Do some reading as there are plenty of intelligent people who have put in work to clearly outline all these concepts.
Hoomygawd this is why Twitter needs an edit button. My eye is twitching. Pressures*
Relational aggression: causing harm by damaging someone's social status or relationships

Benevolent sexism: 'positive' stereotypes, but still damaging (see: ambivalent sexism)

Internalized misogyny: internalized hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women (on an individual level)
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