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sunny day @littlelostsunny
, 6 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
You are in control. It's difficult to remember this sometimes, but you have no obligation to keep anyone in your life who negatively impacts you. If your anxiety is triggered by the mention of a name-- if your stomach sinks & your flight instinct kicks in, then fucking listen.
It often takes us quite awhile to realize someone's toxicity has leeched into our bloodstream. We allow these people into our lives for various reasons: desperation, obligation, low self-esteem, nostalgia, guilt, deceit, association, etc. It's not your fault. But, it's fixable.
Pay attention to how you feel when w/them. Do they tear you down or build you up? Do you feel used or wanted? Do you feel energized or depleted? Do you feel like a burden or a blessing? Do you listen, but are never heard? Do they make time for you? Do you feel safe or insecure?
If you dread spending time w/them, you already know. If you bitch about them incessantly, you already know. If the stress of the relationship consumes most of your waking hours, you already know. If it's always drama, you already know. If you're always afraid, you already know
Cut.Them.Out.
or, at the very least, gain control of the relationship. it can't be all about them or there is nothing worth salvaging. it's possible you can communicate your thoughts and mend what's broken. but, if they devalue your opinion & claim victimhood. drop them.
It will still hurt. You can still care deeply or even love (although, it's a very complicated misplaced version of it, might mirror dependency) and thus the fallout while sting and you'll likely feel like shit, but soon... you'll feel free from a captor you didn't know you had.
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