Here was my night: Handmaid's Tale (a particularly grueling one) followed by an early (for me) dare-I-say responsible bedtime. After all, our son is done with middle school, and they're having a ceremony, so I try to do my parental duty to be not-completely exhausted at it.
But our son--14 years old, a tender age under any circumstance--is distraught. He comes in our room and tells us he doesn't want to go to the ceremony.
Genuinely, flat-out doesn't want to go.

All of our reasonable points about going notwithstanding, he isn't swayed.

"I don't want to get AR-15'ed," he said.
Can you imagine.

Every day, nationwide, teenagers who should be worrying about whether they put on deodorant and how to get through Algebra 2 are worried that any given event--in this case, one celebrating his and his classmates successes--
--will die at any gathering, from gym class to lunch to celebrating their graduation.

Meanwhile, kindergartners are singing nursery rhymes about how to behave during an active shooting crisis.
And despite my own nervousness, I rallied him with stories of many people living in radical defiance of their fears and oppressors, as an act of willful refusal to be put aside.
But it rattled me. I didn't sleep. I wasn't asleep at 2, or 3. (and yes, I did all my "brain set to hamster wheel" exercises).

It feels like everything is cracking, from my heart, to my child, to the country, to the environment.
So I was doing another round of deep breathing, trying to bring down my heart rate and my electrified nerve endings, checked the clock one more time (5ish) and I saw two photos of Anthony Bourdain in quick succession.

My heart shattered.
Because that's the new shorthand, right? Your news alerts, or your instagram feed, or your Twitter account send you the morse code in photos of horrible news.
This one feels too close, though.

Because while everyone loved Anthony Bourdain for his straight-shooting take-no-prisoners style, many people do not personally identify as being LIKE him.
That sort of messy, shambolic, passionate truth-telling that made him a worthy adversary of moral crooks large and small.
He isn't an obvious choice for "American Moralist," but his laser-honed bullshit meter made him one we needed.
And he represents the very best in the rogues, misfits, outliers, weirdos that I grew up with and was myself.

A razor tongue and a heart of raw, messy, very human love.
We started @revolutionart2 as a "Beneficent Society for Oddballs and Weirdos" when Trump was elected because we also needed a voice to call out the lies and hypocrisy in our own goofy way.…
And I also make "surprising but genuine patriot."

Because what many people who aren't on the margins assume about those of us who have been, is that because we're counter-culture we're feckless wankers.…
The people with the sharpest wits, loudest mouths, most delicious side-eye, and barbed tongues are the ones least likely to end up in government where their truth-telling would be like Ipecac for a sick patient.
And the people in bureaucracy often don't know what to make of us. They think we're trouble-makers.

Which is true. Make good trouble.
Being an impish, mischievous trouble maker is so crucial to a society--especially one as brutally inhumane as ours is turning.

Anthony Bourdain was the best of the best, bringing his honesty and clear-eyed love of people to all of us.
I'm just gutted. It's like we lost the patron saint of our anti-establishmentarian Church of Honesty and Mischief.
So in his honor, commit acts of radical humanity, truth telling, and empathy.

Thwart these bastards with a golden heart and a gutter tongue.…
Goodnight, sir.

You lived and loved loudly and well. May we follow in your footsteps as best we can.
and @Bourdain, forever enshrined in plastic chairs, cheap beer and camaraderie. #Hanoi #KeepingItReal
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