Warning: suicidal ideation, depression, conversion therapy, unsupportive parents, Christian fundamentalism.
You have been warned.
Story begins in the next tweet.
Raised in the QF/ATI-adjacent communities, you can guess at what levels there were,.
My mom would then interrogate her. CRY BUCKETS to manipulate and say how disappointed she was.
We were in Gothardland and not given much of any sex ed, let alone proper anatomy. Yes, we were VERY homeschooled,
So, this hotline was called and mom tried ALL the options to figure out which one of us was "stupid" enough to call them.
We didn't even talk to each other much at all while any of us lived at home, or when we had to return to them because we found out about the keyloggers and know mom listens in on the phone
The main idea is that if a wife steps out for help, she has stepped into ungodly authority. Same for kids.
I had enough of it and blocked her, my dad, and all her family for this shit this yr on FB
I limit my sharing and conversations there.
HOWEVER, none of this can be discussed with family. This is "Normal".
I did ask my sisters about hotlines. Both of them have called them since, and both have found them helpful. They also have an online network of people to rely on when they are not ok.
I have an online network and haven't called the hotlines. But I know they do help some of us.
I am forever thankful for people who helped her find the light.
Get this: My insurance will cover that.
My depression is able to function if I have to function for someone else. I might hate me or neglect me, but I can and will take care of *you*
It still terrifies me as a 36-yo how scared I am to be in my parent's care. That isn't normal.
I limit my kids contact with them.
Everyone has a different road and different mileage. Ymmv.
All this to say: We need to, and can do better. TALKING will help.
This is why I will always tell friends to come over.
I might not be able to do that for myself, but I can do it for you. My brain somehow says I am not worth it, but you are.
I may reach out even over something weird like, "OMG I LOVE THAT TOO!"
Lessons learned: Shit happens, it's hard to get help, friends who love you will show up. Brains lie. Even if no one else loves you, if you're my friend, I do love you. Friends are my family.