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Quinn Cummings @quinncy
, 19 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
@RealDonaldTrump Manchurian Pumpkin, remember when you were a tacky mobbed-up slumlord's son from Queens? How you bought into Manhattan real estate because then, the cool Manhattan kids couldn't make fun of you any more!

But they still did, didn't they?
But then you bought everything and yelled constantly and the eighties created millionaires just as tacky as you and you were their king! And getting rid of your first wife even after she completely reconstructed herself for you, well, that just cemented your title.
You were the hit of every young man on the wrong side of the bridge or the tunnel.

But that wasn't what you wanted.

You wanted the cool kids. You wanted in at the clubs where families had known each other forever, where the money and the people were quiet.
You were so desperate to get into those kind of clubs you went and bought one in Florida.

Lovely property, you thought. Surely they will let me into their group now.

But they didn't. Because you are still a tacky mobbed-up slumlord's son from Queens.
And on some level, you knew this. You married the wrong kind of women, had the wrong kind of money. Your golf game is atrocious. People like you aren't welcome.
You hold the people who admire you in contempt because you'd throw every single one of them in a roiling volcano for a nod from a single person you've stared at longingly in Town and Country magazine.
And then Barack Obama made fun of you in public and the people you admire laughed at you, AT YOU. Everyone knew what you only thought late at night, alone in bed.
That you will spend your entire life with your nose pressed against the glass.
That you are ridiculous.
That you are a loser.
But then your powerful allies - men whose power you fear and covet - promised you things would be different.

"You will be President," they whispered, "Think of the possibilities."
And you did. Getting out of debt, paying off some old favors but, most important, the cool kids would have to bow to you. They would have to recognize your superiority.

You would stop hearing that voice screaming in your head about how you're a loser.
You sound nervous these days. They said it would be easy. You really only like things which are easy.
Because you are lazy.
As well as stupid.
Now, not only is it not easy, people are asking questions you told them not to ask. For the first time in your life, your lies aren't stacking neatly long enough to provide you an exist. You can't scream someone into submission.
You can't rape them into silence.
My only regret, Manchurian Pumpkin, is that I never got a chance to play poker with you.

You are existentially terrified.
And this is the best you will ever feel again for the rest of your life.

Because you never got the approval from the people you wanted, and the ones you thought worked for you are peeling away and you have contempt for the ones screaming your name.
Your prayer was answered; everyone is now looking at you.

And they see a loser.
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