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(((Matthew Lewis))) @mateosfo
, 30 tweets, 4 min read Read on Twitter
Forgive me Twitter, for I have sinned.

It has been 12 weeks since my last Berkeley City Council meeting. I confess that there are three to five items on the agenda designed by NIMBYs to block housing in Berkeley (about par.)

Specific sins to follow.
First up: The city tried to back-door re-zone the entire city as agricultural, which would potentially allow them to deny any housing project because, hey! Berkeley’s just a giant farm now.

Which, not false.
So apparently this is just a way to let people have farms, crisis averted. #phew i can has zucchini
So now our councilors are debating whether it’s ok for appointed members of city commissions to tweet anti-semitic photos.

Berkeley, California!
Councilor Cheryl Davila was just accused of anti-semitism on the dais.

This is now officially a hot meeting.
This is now the topic of the meeting. The Berkeley City Council is probably about as qualified to address middle east politics as

Well, as Jared Kushner, I guess. So here we are
The fact that the Council of Berkeley, California, population 110,000, is debating Israeli-Palestinian issues is a sign of how broken everything is

here comes that shame, sinners
There’s this guy who comes to every council meeting and comments on every item in a performance-art style broadside against modern society. Every. Single. Item.

I confess that in these moments I doubt democracy, my sins are hereby laid bare for all to see
The Mayor just called our new 6-story downtown parking lot “the greenest parking garage in California” and people straight up LOL’d

my people are here
Now Mr. Performance Art is inveighing against organizes religion and informing us that developers are like gods

I am in the right place for my confessions, Berkeley City Council is a religious experience tonight
The council is now shuffling the chairs on the homeless Titanic - literally, one homeless shelter is needed for a food bank, the other homeless shelter is out of space, they’re trying to figure out where to put everyone

Not mentioned: Building some, you know, more housing
drama as some of the homeless people in attendance slam the door in anger as the Council realizes it can’t back out of its contracts with the food bank and senior housing center

situation: fucked, basically
CM Bartlett: “This is the worst possible choice for us to have to make, between a homeless shelter and a food bank.”

The sins of NIMBYs past are visited on us all, confess, confess!!
And we’re in recess. Gonna go grab some of those holy biscuits and firewater.
And we’re back! And it’s housing on the agenda!

Four homes on a vacant lot, first proposed in 2016. Vacant lot on one side, too. It’s still just a drawing, but it should be turning into a concept, and maybe a plan, then eventually a proposal and even permit, by

oh, what 2023?
Of course, there are appellants. Stand by for NIMBY quotes ...
“The Ocean View Neighborhood Council” has legal representation so, these are professional NIMBYs apparently
What they’re opposing: More floor space, a deck, and a garage - a safety hazard for cars backing in and out

no mention of whether there are any other cars in the neighborhood
“There are changes to the doors and windows, that’s a concern”

Oh rly, are they Marvins or Milgards? Because I would object like crazy over Marvins myself

Oh crap, the eaves are wrong too! sounds like a monstrous building, eaves and decks and doors and windows and stuff
oh crap the attorney just said the neighbor’s pet has a restraining order against the developer!
obviously the problem with this development is that it has building materials in it, if there were no building materials i think the neighbors would be fine with it
now the applicant is begging the council to approve her code-compliant, zoning-compliant, rules-compliant housing

tension in room is rising ... First up: Council’s chief NIMBY wonders why so many building materials are so close to other buildings, which BTW are made of materials
WOW there is ANOTHER Ocean View Neighborhood Asssociation that supports the development!!

OMG, the People’s Front of Judea just got pwned by the Judean Peoples’s Front
Random performance art guy just did his thing in a language I am incapable of transcribing

I think this is the part of scripture where they’re speaking in tongues
Sure looks like one of these Ocean View groups is a phony, another neighbor saying he’s never heard of it and supports the development

So cool to see how many random YIMBYs there are, just out there in nature, running around YIMBYing and we don’t even know them
(side note, this isn’t even the thing we’re supposed to be here for, which is a proposed de facto ban on granny flats/accessory dwelling units - based on agenda should come up around 3 a.m.)
Now the neighbors opposing the project who are sitting here in the meeting are saying the project should get blocked because they didn’t get notice about the meeting they are sitting in and the usual suspects on council agree this is a serious crisis
heaven forbid you should attend a meeting you didn’t know about. I mean, talk about an existential crisis
“I have something to complain about at this meeting I’m attending that I was not alerted to and since I was not alerted, that’s what I’m going to complain about!”

quantum NIMBYism
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