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Jul 31, 2018 3 tweets 2 min read Read on X
Buzz Lightyear--I mean Aldrin (@TheRealBuzz) is going live soon (currently )
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More from @Sc00bzT

Jul 26, 2020
I watched the trailer for "For All Mankind" season 2 and was like that's a Marilyn Manson song…? "The Beautiful People"?… nope… oh I know it's "Sweet Dreams"… oh fuck he did black face 😳. Also wrong song… hmm was that a cover or something? Ah "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics.
I think my brain is broken. I'll "Blame It (on the alcohol)" by Jamie Foxx… that song is super rapey. Was that a cover or something because I do not remember the lyrics besides "blame it on the alcohol". This is like when I tweeted "Netflix and chill" not knowing it was sexual.
Wait don't look for that Tweet unless you understand that by "Netflix and chill" I meant watch Netflix and relax while sitting on a couch (ie chill). Otherwise it's fucked up… oh it's not that bad thought I said like "Netflix and chill with my parents"
Read 6 tweets
Feb 8, 2020
Correction: there are over one million people on the "have not committed a crime list and are being harassed".
Note my previous tweet might make you think I'm picking and choosing but I think far right-wing/Neo-Nazis/white nationalist terrorists should have rights… also should be infiltrated and monitored. Note they should have encryption… it's just spies should be in their group.
P.S. This does not mean a company should insert a fake user into a group, but the FBI, NSA, DHS, etc should find them and get an invite.
Read 4 tweets
Dec 15, 2019
Best Xmas movie is "A Christmas Horror Story" (obviously a play on "A Christmas Story")… Also "christmas horror" is like the best movie genre.
In "A Christmas Horror Story" just ignore the high school documentary thing, the other three are the only ones I remembered. Just now I'm like "oh there's a forth story?"
I think I forgot all the shitty parts of this movie and was like zombie elves, Krampus, and changeling fuck yeah…god damn the ghost possession high school thing is fucked. Can someone edit this movie to remove the ghost story thing?
Read 6 tweets
Aug 30, 2019
I fcuking love whacthing dumb people come up with "solutions" while drunk. @SGgrc's "how to slove hotel mobile phone keys" is fucking stupid because publie key crypto is slow AF and it could use symeterec. Since it's like "AES counter to get nect private key". That's a ratchet.
He could just basically-ish do s/asymmetric/symmetric/ and it's good. I had a way more complex solution just because you should not let in someone after they shouldn't (even if the next customer hasn't come in) and clock skew. Also master keys, common doors, & dumping lock's mem.
Uhh @SGgrc, please don't start a hotel lock company or do so you find out you're stupid… Never mind "it's not even worth doing, it's so simple".
Read 4 tweets
Jul 13, 2019
I've been meaning to do a postmortem on the password hashing competition for probably over 2 years. I wanted optimized defender and attacker code for each algo. So we could make a good choice. We really needed to have an optimization competition with financial rewards.
Also if we auto submitted "pre and post hashed bcrypt" it probably would of made us go "oh shit 'memory hard' is not the way to go it's 'cache hard'". Since a better cache hard algo, like Pufferfish, is better for "≲2.5 second" runs than Argon2 (both tuned correctly).
Pufferfish isn't the best cache hard algo. It too closely aligned to bcrypt: it took the bad parts and didn't improve enough on the good parts. I realize this now after spending a fuck ton of time on "not bcrypt". Now "bs(crypt)" because "BS(PAKE)"… cause self deprecation FTW.
Read 9 tweets
Jul 3, 2019
Cool story bro, but:
1 SMS is not encrypted
2 Of those mentioned only Signal is not obviously broken, besides phone numbers
3 Outlawing crypto means we'll get better crypto and only "outlaws" will use it
4 99.9999% of cases don't need to break crypto
5 Terrorism "doesn't exist" (0.0000001%=="doesn't exist")
6 Drugs aren't that bad
7 If you wanted to protect children, then outlaw religions. Because pedos gravitate towards them. (Note only one religion got publicly shamed for it, but all religions "deal with"/hide it.)
"Joel Wallenstrom—[sic]the CEO of uber-secure messaging platform Wickr"—WTF @UKZak, are you a government agent trying to get people to use bad crypto?

PS That's how you actually use an em dash. If you are not aware, both of your em dashes should be commas

PPS I failed English🔥
Read 4 tweets

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