, 12 tweets, 5 min read Read on Twitter

I don’t write dating columns anymore but something has been heavy on my mind & I know there’s someone here that needs to hear it:

IF HE IS NOT MAKING TIME & IF HE IS NOT CONSISENT, HE IS NOT INTERESTED. You are not a conjunction, my love. No if, ands, or...buts.
Whew! Had to finish that episode of @LoveIsOWN before I finished this. Where were we? Ah, yes. I’ve only been in 3 long-term relationships in my life...but looking back there were VERY CLEAR INDICATORS about how these brothas were gonna show up. & I ignored them.
Inconsistent texts, changed plans, etc...were just the surface. I usually caught those red flags. However the big waving red flags, the ones that happen after you think you’re head over heels, I missed those. & honey...you’re missing them too.
1 🚩3 yr relationship was underwhelmed when I told him that I received this fellowship I was super anxious about getting. I chalked it up to a mood. & then coming back from the training, my train was delayed and I got in at midnight...Did he come to meet me?
Nope. He said he was tired and had to wake up early. I lugged two suitcases and 2 carryons via the train home. When I got home he was playing video games. Was I surprised that when I broke it off he said, “You intimidates me?” Heck yeah! Why? Cuz I ignored red flags, sis.
2 🚩: Another relationship, I had a fever of like 105 + homeboy said he was in BK in a meeting. He lived in another borough. When he called back, he was back home. When I asked why he didn’t stop by, he said, “I thought your parents did. They got you.” My parents were like:
Parents be knowing. They were like: FINISH HIM.

What was Erica doing? Making excuses.

“He was tired ma.”
“That’s just how he is.”
“Y’all here right?”

My parents:
3 🚩: A month later he went on a cruise with a family for 8 days.

Day 3 Dad was like: Heard from what’s-his-face? Text? Email?

Me: He didn’t get the WiFi package!

Day 4 of Dad commentary: So the docks don’t have WiFi?

He comes back and texts me 24 hours after he docks, “You free on Friday?”

Me: We need to talk.

He really tried to pencil me in after he got home like we weren’t in a whole relationship. That story wasn’t worth telling but the contrast is important.

Peep this...new boyfriend..
Flight home is canceled. He curses everyone out at the airport, gets put on a later flight, tells @MTA that they aren’t going his way, and hops a cab like:
He’s got his own place, bags to put down, a mind to relax after a tired day but none of that mattered once I said I wasn’t feeling well. Bae was on his #ZoomChallenge FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY.
They will make time if they’re interested.
They will be consistent if they’re interested.
They will MOVE MOUNTAINS if they’re interested.

I needed someone to say that over and over again when I was 20-something. So yeah. ☝🏾 That.
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