Account Share

 

Thread by @bitterkarella: "Clive Barker: Presented for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this... The Tale of the Horny Ghost who liked to Fuck. Stephen King […]"

107 tweets, 18 min read
Clive Barker: Presented for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this... The Tale of the Horny Ghost who liked to Fuck.

Stephen King: Oh for Pete's sake

Edward Lee: No wait I want to hear this
Clive Barker: So the ghost's erect penis stabs her right in the face and there's gouts of blood, big gushing stinking rivers of it
Edward Lee: Did she have big boobs
Barker: Just blood splattered everywhere, mixed with steaming chunks of flesh
Lee: Are her boobs big
Lee: How big
Stephen King: For the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this... The Tale of the Creepy Small Town with a Spooky Secret
Clive Barker: Is the town in Maine
King: NO
King:
King: yes
Stephen King: For the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this... The Tale of the Preternaturally Wise Black Person Full of Sage Angelic Advice
HP Lovecraft: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
King: Howard, I haven't started the story
Lovecraft: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Lovecraft: For the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this... The Tale of the Dusky Foreigner
King: ...
Barker: ...
Poe: ...
Lovecraft: I mean indescribable eldritch abomination
Poe: describe it
Lovecraft: [sweats] uh it looked uh spooky uh like an italian
Poe: I declare this meeting
Dean Koontz: i have a story
Poe: I declare this meeting of the midnight society
Poe: ugh fine
Koontz: touch this bucket of peeled grapes
Poe: ok
Koontz: they're eyes
Poe: You already said they were grapes
Koontz: no wait i did it wrong
oh this blew up haha
well if you like HORROR check out my horror text games too! You might like them as well :) bitterkarella.itch.io
R.L. Stine: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Scary Monster!
Stine: so there's this scary monster... with slime coming out of its mouth!
Stine: but get this
Stine: the slime is green
Koontz: [taking notes] this is golden
Poe: Tonight I want to introduce a new member of the Midnight Society
King: A new member? They better be REALLY scary.
Stephen Gammell: Hi everyone
King: OH SHIT
Gammell: I thought that maybe for my story I could draw a little something--
King: NO STOP
Christopher Pike: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Hot Stud that was really a Psycho
Pike: there's this teenage girl & she really wants this guy
Pike: but this stud has a secret
Koontz: what... what is it
Koontz: what's the secret
H.P. Lovecraft: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight society, I call this The Tale of the Non-Euclidian Geometry
King: ok what does that mean exactly
Barker: i've been wondering about that too
Lovecraft: what do you mean
Poe: you do bring this geometry up a lot, howard
John Bellairs: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of the Spooky Robot
King: sure sounds fun
Bellairs: so this guy invents a robot
Koontz: i like robots C:
Bellairs it needs to eat human eyes to work
King: wait what
Stephen King: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Small Town Haunted by an Ancient Evil
King: so the main character of this story is a writer
Lee: is it you
King: No, this main character is named.... Kephen Sting
Koontz: [sincere awe]
Anne Rice: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Sad Vampire with Smouldering Eyes that Communicate Such Sadness
Rice: The Sad Vampire is also a time traveler and he met Jesus and they had sex
Rice: He's also an astronaut and a ballerina
Anne Rice: "Step away," said the Sad Vampire, "None may see my manly tears!"
Rice: "But your wound requires healing, you brashly impulsive warrior," said Jesus, placing his soft hands on the Sad Vampire's smooth chest
Barker: when do we get to the hot dicks
Bentley Little: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Hat
King: You mean The Tale of the Hat?
Little: no
Stephen King: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Evil in a Small Town
Barker: hey what kind of cars do people in this town drive? any, saaay, foreign models?
Poe: oh no don't
King: AMERICAN MADE 1950s MUSCLE CARS ONLY, BABY
Lovecraft: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of the Eldritch Horror
Lovecraft: So this horror is so eldritch
Poe: what does it look like
Lovecraft: [sweats] uh i uh can't tell you
Lovecraft: it would make you go crazy
Koontz: whoa
Lovecraft: So this eldritch abomination is so eldritch that you can't even look at it
Lovecraft: it's indescribable, just horror beyond imagining
Lovecraft: your brain can't even comprehend it
Lovecraft: but also it looks like a squid
Lovecraft: This story is also about a giant squid from space
Lovecraft: with lots of tentacles, just like a million tentacles
Poe: whats with you and the tentacles
Lovecraft: [sweats] i just
Lovecraft: i just think they're interesting, that's all
Christopher Pike: Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Cinnabons Cashier
Pike: So this girl has a crush on the new cashier at the mall Cinnabons
Pike: he's really dreamy, like total malibu blonde
Barker: is he packing
Pike: yes
Christopher Pike: But see the cashier is actually a deranged stalker psycho, so he decides to kill off all the girl's friends until she has no one but him
Pike: he sets up piano wire traps to cut off their heads
Pike: piano wire. smooth, efficient
Pike: the perfect crime
Pike: No wait ok picture this
Pike: You see this studly young cashier right?
King: right
Pike: now what if he was a skeleton?
Koontz: AAAAAAAAAA
King: Like for real a skeleton?
Pike: No he's just a regular evil cashier. the skeleton visual is just a metaphor for his dangerousness
King: [thinking] this man is a genius
Koontz: skeletons are scary :C
Mark Danielewski: 𝓼𝓾𝓫𝓶𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓭 for the 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕧𝕒𝕝 of the Midnight Society¹, I call this: (The) Tale² of the S̶i̶n̶i̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶S̶l̶o̶w̶ ̶B̶u̶r̶n̶ the House that Ate a Guy
King: how are you doing that with your voice
Danielewski: 🆆🅷🅰🆃 🅳🅾 🆈🅾🆄 🅼🅴🅰🅽
Neil Gaiman: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of the Extremely Long World Mythology Thesis Aside
Gaiman: So interesting story, you know there's a theory that the ancient Egyptians visited America
Barker: it's not that interesting
Gaiman: [hours later] however the romans called bread "eattus" which explains the modern origins of the word "eat," but if you look at norse influence an interesting thing happens
Barker: are you going to tell a story
King: the sun's coming up, my mom is gonna be pissed
Edward Lee: hey fam it's me, ya boi Ed Lee. I got a banger of a story tonight
King: you're doing it wrong
Lee: what bruh
King: you have to say 'submitted for the approval of the midnight society'
Lee: bruh
Edward Lee: So this chick, she got big massive titties, like so big you won't believe
Lee: like these tits so big they don't make bras big enough
Lee: they're like [mimics giant breasts]
Lee: like d cup
Lee: no wait
Lee: bigger
Lee: so like this nun totally goes to pray to Jesus to help her fight the devil
Lee: she's in seclusion, its totally a sublime moment bruh
Lee: and she's got implants
King: wait like breast implants?
Lee: yeah
Lee: so big
Lee: like bustin outta her habit big
Mary Shelley: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Tortured Hot Scientist who Created a Totally Hot Monster
Barker: damn hot monster, this is good
Lovecraft: [sweats] why is there a girl here
Lee: TAKE IT OFF
August Derleth: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Evil Squid God
King: didn't howard already do this
Derleth: I'm building on howard's ideas
King: no i'm pretty sure howard did this
Barker: yeah squids are howard's thing
Derleth: howard came up with the idea, but i fleshed it out. like the mythos. that's my thing
King: no i'm pretty sure howard invented all that. he always does squid stories
Barker: yeah, like cthulhu is, like, his Sardo
Thomas Ligotti: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Hopeless Futility that is the Meaningless Swirling Nothingness of Life
Ligotti: All is black, all is despair
Ligotti: modern life is a horrifying waste of ennui
Ligotti: pointless
Ligotti: the bureaucratic nightmare of existence is the true horror
Ligotti: all is lost
Ligotti: all is lost
Ligotti: [slowly fades away into nothingness] all is lost
King: well that was a thing
Koontz: i have a story about a haunted pumpkin
Junji Ito: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of the School Girls Who Turned Inside Out.
Junji: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Junji: Ha! Ha! Ha!
King: stop that
Junji: [head spinning wildly] Ha! Ha! Ha!
Junji: And then he died and his corpse was full of rot and maggots.
Barker: what, like immediately?
Barker: Immediately upon death?
Junji: Yes.
Barker: it doesn't work like that, man
Junji: Yes, it does.
Junji Ito: And then the school girl ate a pizza, which caused her brain to melt
Koontz: That doesn't happen in real life right
King: No Dean it's just a story
Koontz: Good. I was worried because i too like to eat pizza sometimes you see
Kris Straub: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Spooky Tale Relayed Through Found Documents
King: ah visual aids, good
Straub: [pulls out 3 ring binder w/900 mimeographed pages of circa 1988 PTA meeting minutes from Oakdale County school district]
Kris Straub: According to the testimony gathered by local authorities from ██████, witness Jane Doe described the assailant as having "abnormally long arms"
King: wait how long
Straub: abnormally long
Straub: and legs too
Straub: tall guys are p scary imho
Stephen King: Tonight I want to introduce a new member of the Midnight Society
King: A bold new voice in horror, destined for greatness
King: A wordsmith of rare talent, possibly the greatest writer in American, no, world history
King: Joe Hill
Joe Hill: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of the Mysterious Apocalyptic Event
King: [clapping] Wow! Terrifying! Just the best! What a performance!
Hill: Dad please stop
Hill: As I was saying
King: [pointing, whispers to Poe] that's my son
R.L. Stine: Since Stephen brought his son, I thought I would introduce you to mine
Stine: [pulls out ventriloquist dummy]
Poe:
King:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
Stine: His name is knothead and i love him very much
Koontz: hi knothead
Stine: [speaking through ventriloquist dummy] So the two children - one male, one female THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT - are wandering through the evil carnival and there's slime everywhere
King: this is awful; i feel like we should do something
Barker: you're right
Barker: BOOOOOOO!
Bentley Little: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this [ eyes dart about wildly for a full minute before coming to rest on the campfire before him] The Campfire
M.R. James: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Scary Ghost
James: but get this, this ghost doesn't live in an abandoned castle or a weird cave
James: it lives in a house
James: maybe even
James: [turns, points at reader] YOUUR HOUSE?!?
V.C. Andrews: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Cruel Governess Who Locks Darling Moppets in the Attic
Andrews: so there's a brother and sister
Stine: absolutely essential horror protagonists, yes
Andrews: oh but wait
V.C. Andrews: so the brother and sister love each other
King: right
Andrews: No I mean REALLY love each other
King: ok
Andrews: No like REEEALLY REALLY
Andrews: REALLLLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
King: where is this going
Lee: OH HO HO, BRUH, I GET IT YEAH
Stephen Gresham: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of a Child Protected by a Secret Cabal of Clowns
King: oh yeah clowns are scary
Gresham: Not these clowns, they're friendly
Gresham: they help kids and protect them from ghosts
King:
Gresham: So the monster is chasing the child
King: nice
Gresham: don't worry, tho, the child is protected by a locket given to her by her grandmother and imbued with the power of her undying love
King:
Gresham: so there's absolutely no danger at all
Gresham: she's 100% safe
Gresham: A child's favorite toy mysteriously comes alive
Gresham: so they had a nice picnic & lots of fun
Barker: when does this get good
Gresham: look, i'm sorry, i just don't want you to worry about the kid
Barker: nobody is worried about the kid
Koontz: i was a little worried
Guy N. Smith: Submited for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Giant Crabs
King: This sounds suspiciously similar to your last story, about the Large Crabs
Barker: And the Big Crabs before that
Smith: WELL IT'S NOT
Guy N. Smith: So these giant man-eating crabs are attacking the coastline, laying waste to the country
Smith: ripping up womens clothes with their claws
King: Oh I get it, the crabs are a metaphor for the unknown fears which bedevil mankind
Smith: no they're not
King: I'm starting to feel like this crab thing is kind of personal
Smith: That's ridiculous
Smith: i'm just telling a normal story here, about crabs
Smith: [muttering, under breath] lousy wife-stealing crabs
Barker: so listen does it always have to be crabs
Barker: you could mix it up a bit you know
Smith: what do you mean
Barker: like maybe lobsters for once or--
Smith: NO IT HAS TO BE CRABS
John Bellairs: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Friendship Between a Nebbishy Teenager and an Elderly Eccentric
Stine: Are they brother and sister
Bellairs: uh what
Brian Lumley: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of the Two Squid Gods!!!
Lumley: See, first there's Nargolog the Black Toad Under the Hearth, the unfeeling monstrosity of eons!!!
Lumley: And then there's his brother Ed, who's an okay guy!!!!
Brian Lumley: The Monster God from Beyond Human Perception has powers so vast your mind can't comprehend them!!
Lumley: There's only one thing that can stop it!!
Lumley: Getting shot by a gun!!
King: a magic gun?
Lumley: no just a gun!!
King: please stop yelling
Lumley: what!!!!
H.P. Lovecraft: please... you... you can't just punch Cthulhu
Lumley: if cthulhu tries something with me, i'll give him a punch in the nose!!
Lumley: [mimes punching] give 'em the ol' one two!!
Lovecraft: but cthulhu is so far beyond human minds
Lumley: [continues miming] Pow!!!!
Kim Newman: [wearing lampshade] whoa hey guys, honk honk! What if Frankenstein was your barber? Heyo! [falls backwards off log]
Newman: but seriously folks
King: you have to say the line
Newman: hey, dean-o, my old pal, wanna smell my squirting flower?
Koontz: Do i!
King: Dean no
Kim Newman: [record scratch sound effect] Good evening, ladies and germs! it's your old pal Kim with another zinger humdinger
Newman: ya ever think about what it would be like if Warren Harding was a werewolf?
Newman: why I think it would sound... a little something... like this
Kim Newman: [rolls up on undersized tricycle] Awooga, kids! What if Alexander Graham Bell was a vampire?
Newman: It might sound... a little something... like this
Newman: "Watson, come here-- I want to drink your blood!"
Newman: [Yello's 'Oh Yeah' plays as Newman gyrates]
Nancy Collins: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Cyborg Vampire
Collins: This vampire is a badass, way better than all the other vampires.
Collins: She makes the other vampires look like garbage.
Rice: hey
Rice: say that again bitch
Stephen Gresham: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Angelic 12 Year Old Girl that was so Beautiful and Everyone Wants to Cuddle
King: um
Gresham: you wrote a clown gangbang, shut up
King: IT WAS ONE TIME
Lee: So underage clown gangbang huh
Stephen King: when will people stop giving me guff for that underage clown gangbang >:C
Joe Hill: dad what are they talking about
King: Nothing Joe, go back to sleep
King: i'll tell you when you're older
Algernon Blackwood: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Mysterious Woods
Blackwood: these mysterious woods which so fill one with terrible awe
Blackwood: you ever look at these woods?
Blackwood: i mean like REALLY look at these woods?
Jack Ketchum: [drags on cigarette] Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Explosively Eviscerated Bloody Guts
Barker: hell yeah
Ketchum: But the real monsters
Ketchum: are what people do to each other
Barker: oh
Ketchum: [downs whiskey]
Jack Ketchum: ya see the real savage
Ketchum: that ain't some monster in the woods
Ketchum: the real savage is right here, in a man's heart
Ketchum: but it's also a monster in the woods too
Koontz: or it could be a super smart rat
Ketchum: [extremely long cigarrette drag]
Jack Ketchum: ya see the real horror
Ketchum: when a so-called civilized man is pushed
Ketchum: and the beast is right there under the skin
Ketchum: and you wonder, what violence a man can do
Ketchum: [stares meaningfully at hands]
Koontz: i have a story about a super smart dog
Kim Newman: Dean
Newman: Dean pull my finger
Koontz: ok!
Poe: Dean no
Newman: [Toccata and Fugue in D Minor Plays]
Jeff VanderMeer: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Weird Zone
VanderMeer: weird things happen there
VanderMeer: like when you poop, it comes out in morse code
Newman: [plays slide whistle]
Jeff VanderMeer: So the person, the other person, and the third person go into the Weird Zone
Poe: wait
VanderMeer: no don't worry, it's not gonna be confusing or anything, i can tell them apart
VanderMeer: so the person
Poe: wait
Jeff VanderMeer: and then everything in the Weird Zone gets super weird
VanderMeer: everyone's turning into sexy monsters
Poe: sexy monsters?
VanderMeer: I mean weird monsters
VanderMeer: who said sexy
VanderMeer: [sweats]
Jeff VanderMeer: and that's the story of the Weird Zone
Poe: i have some questions
VanderMeer: Don't worry, I have 2 more stories
Poe: oh good, and those explain things?
VanderMeer:
VanderMeer: uh sure
VanderMeer: absolutely
VanderMeer: 100%
Dean Koontz: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale...the Tale of...
King: you can do it, Dean
Koontz: The Tale... the Tale of...
Poe: keep going, you're doing fine, Dean
Koontz: [sweats] the Tale of....
Dean Koontz: the tale of... uh... the tale of... what if
King: that's it, keep going
Koontz: what if...
Poe: we believe in you, Dean
Koontz: what if...what if hamburgers ate people!??!
Poe: you did it!
King: great job, dean
King: right, guys?
Barker:
King: RIGHT, GUYS?
Carlton Mellick III: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Planet that Was A Giant Space-Faring Lizard with Clown Hair and the People Living on It Are Tiny Prostitutes with Toilets For Heads
Barker: lot goin on there
Mellick: i'm not done
Mellick: what if your dick was really a spider
Mellick: like a big ol tarantula growing out of your crotch?
Mellick: and to have sex you had to find someone with a bunch of flies growing out of their crotch
Mellick: ok now imagine a whole society of spider dick people
Mellick: so Ed Jones is just a normal spider dick guy, living a normal spider dick life, and his wife is a robot with a mechanical vagina
Poe: wait a sec what about the fly thing?
Mellick: i'm past that now, i'm talking about robo-vagina now
Dean Koontz: [wearing a toupee like a squirrel nest] hi guys
King:
Barker:
Poe:
Poe: uh dean
Koontz: great news guys, God made my hair grow back C:
Poe:
Barker:
King:
Koontz: it's a miracle C:
Stephen King: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Totally Scathing Tweetter Take-Down
King: "Donald Trump? More like Donald DRUMPF"
King: you guys like it? i just thought of it
Barker:
King: Joe showed me how to use tweeter
Joe Hill: Twitter, Dad
Stephen King: [wearing fake mustache, cape held in front of his face] Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Angry Loner Against Society
Barker: Stephen what are you doing
King: Stee-ven? Hoo ees this Stee-ven? I am Richard Bachman!
Stephen King: oh man i have such a hangover, what's up guys
Barker: what's the deal last night, man, you kept saying you were Richard Bachman
King: [whispers] Bachman... he's back...
King: was last night a full moon
Barker: what are you talking about-
King: ANSWER THE QUESTION
Stephen King: richard bachman, my alter ego... my evil twin
King: the cain to my abel
King: he's exactly like me in every possible way
King: except that he's slightly more racist
Mark Z. Danielewski: 𝖘𝖚𝖇𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖉 for the ǟքքʀօʋǟʟ of the Midnight Society, I call this The Familiar's Wake ¹
Poe: wait what's in that footnote
Danielewski: ¹here are some words that rhyme with wake: bake, cake, lake, jake, drake, snake...
Danielewski: s̸̹̣̝͈̟̱͇͐̾̆̇͊̽̎̕͠u̵͖̟̺͔̪̿̌b̸̛̛̯͉͑̾́́͝m̶͔̣̩̲̻͎̣͇̻̋́͐̒̀̏̕i̸̬̠̐́̈̑̆̋͂̔̔t̶̢̡̞͈̾͗̉͐̀͒̐ț̶̺̜̬͓͓̆͛̕̚͜ę̸̙̹͔̒̽͐̽͛͊̈͌̕͜͝d̷̡̫̳̪̻͔͙͙̺͈̎͊̍͗̎͒̊̅́̚ ̶͕͚͉̜̩͍̭̓̉̍̈́̅f̴̱͇̭͂ͅõ̵͚̙͇̂̆͐̈́̇͂̅͠ṛ̴̡̡̺͇͚̠͙̝̲̿͛̅̉͂̈́̔̋̚ ̸͎͙͎͎̮̗̰̳̒͐̈́͂̾̚ţ̶̭̟̭̫̬̠͔̩̥̈́́̄̅̑h̷͕͈͈͕̘̯̺̬̝̓̽̾͐̓̄̚̚e̷̘͓̭͓̖̅͆͊̕̚͝ ̵̜͌̍̉̓̀̇̀́
John Saul: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the Tale of The Bad Thing that Happens to Your Kids
Saul: cuz that's every parent's nightmare
Saul: when you have kids it really changes your perspective
Saul: i would take a bullet for my kid, you know
John Saul: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Ghost that Threatens Children
Koontz: but children are innocents! you can't threaten them!
Koontz: they're almost as pure as dogs!
Koontz: please don't threaten a dog :C
John Saul: so the demon is about to eat the child
Stephen Gresham: [interrupting] but the child is protected by angels so he can't be hurt
Saul: but the demon has giant angel-killing claws
Gresham: but then the angels have swords
Saul: but the swords break
Gresham: NO THEY DON'T
Mary Shelley: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Modern Prometheus
King: [pointing to pendant] what's that
Shelley: oh this? just the calcified heart of my dead husband
King:
Shelley: [bites head off live bat]
Mary Shelley: so this is a story that i thought of while my boyfriend and i were fucking on top of a grave
Barker: intense
Shelley: you better fucking believe it
Shelley: i'm the queen witch and i only fly at midnight
Shelley: [smashes beer bottle and shivs Barker]
Dean Koontz: hey Mary, I wrote a fan fiction about your modern prometheus story
Shelley: Oh yeah? Let me see
Shelley: [throws Koontz's manuscript directly into camp fire without breaking eye contact] NO FAKE GOTHS
Mary Shelley: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this tale Frankenstein
Poe: oh yes the green monster with the bolts
Shelley: the green what
Poe: the green monster
Shelley:
Shelley: who the fuck you think you are, emo?
Dean Koontz: Mary I have some ideas about frankenstein
King: dean no
Koontz: like what if frankenstein had a little friend named igor?
Koontz: and whenever igor's not around, everyone should be asking: "where's igor?"
Shelley: fuck that candy goth shit
Poe: that frankenstein, what a story!
Shelley: yeah it made my boyfriend piss his pants
Shelley: but he's fuckin scared of eyes on nipples or some shit
Shelley: little bitch
E.T.A.Hoffmann: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Wan Artist Beset by Fantastical Ghouls Representing the Wild Unknown!
Hoffmann: And also a clockwork automaton
Hoffmann: piloted by cats
Hoffmann: on Christmas
E.T.A. Hoffmann: Once upon a time, there was a pretty princess cursed by an evil witch
Barker: this is a fairy tale
Hoffmann: ah well you see, the fairy tale actually represents the collective fears of the unconscious
Barker:
Hoffmann: there were also 3 pigs
E.T.A. Hoffmann: so the evil wizard cast a spell that made all the apples turn to stone, but the brave knight
Hoffmann: wait i forgot the most important part
Hoffmann: first, a 12 hour digression on the importance of poetry
E.T.A. Hoffmann: and they all lived happily ever after
Neil Gaiman: i'm actually quite familiar with your body of work, ETA
King: we know
Gaiman: in fact, if you're clever, some of you might have noticed allusions to hoffmann in my own story
King: WE KNOW
Gaiman: in fact, you also might have noticed some clever allusions to Shelley in my story too
Gaiman: like the character cleverly named "T.M. Prometheus"
Gaiman: for "The Modern"
Gaiman: eh? eh?
Gaiman: a lesser writer might have just said "frankenstein"
Gaiman: But not me
Neil Gaiman: It's my birthday and that means only one thing... BRING IT IN, GUYS!
[every character from every movie, game, comic, cartoon, TV show, and book reality come in with everything for a HUGE party]
Gaiman: Stories are magic. The act of storytelling is a pure & unsullied thing
Barker: What's the theme here?
Gaiman: You can't weigh down a story with themes. Too much analysis destroys the magic
Gaiman: Here, let me explain this 5 more times
Poe: NO
(credit: @morbiomatic )
Ralph Ellison: There is no greater horror than to live in a society that regards you as nothing
Ellison: An "invisible" proletariat, denied a spark of revolution
Lovecraft: [Sweats] A-are you saying there are MORE of you in this room
Lovecraft: AM I SURROUNDED
(cred:@morbiomatic)
King: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Big Dumb Ugly Stupid Lousy Car
Barker: this about the car that hit you
King: maybe
King: anyway
King: King: Driven by the Stupid Fat Dumb Ugly Drunk Loser Guy
King: The Evil Mean Bad Car then hit the poor innocent and very handsome writer!!!!
Joe Hill: Dad, please calm down
Hill: Your heart
Hill: Remember what the doctor said?
King: HE'S NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!! >:C
King: [eating cheeseburger, smoking cigarette] so the doctor said i had to take better care of myself
King: [injecting heroin] that gave me an idea for a story
King: [guzzling nitroglycerin from a large keg marked with XXX] The Tale of the Idiot Doctor Who Should Shut Up
Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this The Tale of the Sexy Vampire
Lee: hell yeah
Lee: wait a sexy girl vampire right? with tiddies?
Le Fanu: yes
Lee: good, bruh, fuckin' lame when anne tricks me into jerking to manpires
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.
This content can be removed from Twitter at anytime, get a PDF archive by mail!
This is a Premium feature, you will be asked to pay $30.00/year
for a one year Premium membership with unlimited archiving.
Don't miss anything from @bitterkarella,
subscribe and get alerts when a new unroll is available!
Did Thread Reader help you today?
Support me: I'm a solo developer! Read more about the story
Become a 💎 Premium member ($30.00/year) and get exclusive features!
Too expensive?
Make a small donation instead. Buy me a coffee ($5) or help for the server cost ($10):
Donate with 😘 Paypal or  Become a Patron 😍 on Patreon.com
Trending hashtags
Did Thread Reader help you today?
Support me: I'm a solo developer! Read more about the story
Become a 💎 Premium member ($30.00/year) and get exclusive features!
Too expensive?
Make a small donation instead. Buy me a coffee ($5) or help for the server cost ($10):
Donate with 😘 Paypal or  Become a Patron 😍 on Patreon.com