Before we marry, our pattern of how we navigate relationships does not prepare us for what marriage expects.
We date again, meet another person we rate above others, and the process starts all over again. It ends, we begin dating again, we meet somebody
We date, we begin again, and it goes on and on, until we meet someone new and this time the relationship gets to the point where you are both ready to marry each other.
We look at marriage like,
"This is my soul mate, the love is going to remain as heightened and intense as the first day we met, till the last days of our lives"
Over time, you may hit those familiar blocks and question if your husband/wife is really the one
People beat themselves up for their marriages not proceeding as perfectly and "soulmatey" as they thought.
We are human beings, and what is familiar is what often occurs, Whitney houston didn't magically appear and bippity boppity boop, your relationship to turn it into a fairytale.
There are many people who believe that marriage changes people.
Before my cousin got married, she confessed to us that her bf at the time,
We are the same people, the only difference is that we have a party and sign a document.
It is like expecting to be a totally different person, after celebrating your birthday.
My cousin married a violent man, who of course
They are still married today with 4 beautiful children.
Don't let the societies conditioning of marriage as a perfect relationship, get you dreaming that all it takes to achieve that, is marriage.
The point I am trying to get to is, don't be hard on yourself if your marriage does not go perfectly after a while, it is normal and it makes total sense, considering reality.
It is on you both to decide if the relationship is worth putting in effort and worth communicating what you need.
People outgrowing each other, doesn't change because you had a party and signed a document. That is reality.
We put made up rules on