I sometimes wonder what I would have become if there was no brothers in my life, a farmer ? Or a guy who might have been dead by now unable to face this world.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
By the time I was born, we were a normal middle-class family . My father was a constable who used to be transferred for every two years and my mother is who I used to spend more time with.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I don't know why but i used to be shy when talking with people, unlike my brothers who are active,funny and energetic in everything they do.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I used to be good at studies for few years, but one day when i was in the terrace sleeping i saw stars and asked my mother what they are , then she said everything about stars,galaxies and also said that earth is a very small tiny particle in it.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I was confused at first but after thinking more about it i stopped being serious, i lost interest in bookish studies. From then i took my life lightly for many more years to come.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I started going to school less frequently and locked myself in a room reading books. First i used to read chandamama and after then i started reading detective novels.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
My favourite pastimes would be watching amitabh films. I don't know how many times I watch them. I even used to imitate him looking at the mirror.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
And then i started reading about bhagatsingh, Gandhi and other prominent national leaders. I was astouned for their bravery and their commitment. I was inspired.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
But i didn't see this braveness around people surrounding me. People are afraid. People are afraid to stop people who are harassing my sisters on road. I felt sad and angry.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
In school books everything used to beautiful and inspiring. But in real life everything used to be conjusted, ugly and awful. I was depressed with this society.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I neglected studies and started observing at people and their thinking. One day when i was busy celebrating new year. I saw a boy of my age working hard to earn his food
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I felt sad for him . That question never got away from my mind , " why only me ? But not them too" This question haunted me for years and still it is.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
While i was in this question i read a book named " asamardhuni jiva yatra" ,this book questioned me, this made me mad for few years. I used to question myself in many things, searching for answers finding nothing.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
Seeing my confused and my strange behaviour my brother took me for studies, in Chennai , but place cannot change a person's mind or thinking. There too I used to be a rebel.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I didn't find happiness or hope in me. I used to be depressed and far away from the world unable to understand what I wanted in my life.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
No one blamed me for my failures but I did feel guilt. So one day I tried to end my life with a revolver. If I had pulled that triggered much faster, I would have gone. But I didn't die due to my good brothers who saved me on time.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
So I thought what if I can travel? Will I know what I wanted in my life. So I travelled like a madman roaming in strange cities with my melancholy thoughts for few months.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I visited temples, I slept on floor. I tried to live simplest life I can. I went to uttarandhra, I spent time with local people trying to understand different slangs and customs which I later used in my films.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I thought that I was complete man now, but I wasn't. I even tried to escape to jungle with my friend to live a different life. But it didn't succeed
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
So I thought what if I can travel? Will I know what I wanted in my life. So I travelled like a madman roaming in strange cities with my melancholy thoughts for few months.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I visited temples, I slept on floor. I tried to live simplest life I can. I went to uttarandhra, I spent time with local people trying to understand different slangs and customs which I later used in my films.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I thought that I was complete man now, but I wasn't. So I tried to escape to jungle with my friend to live a happy life. But it didn't happen
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
After that i had started practicing yoga , I spent few years of my life in a phase where everything is towards divinity. I used to read many books that makes you search yourself.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
One day I was watching a Japanese film by akira kurasowa and I was flattered with the theme of the film. It made me learn one thing that every story has different views, we should understand a problem from every one's view. I remembered it all my life
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I also read a book called vanavasi during this time which made me know the importance of environment and plants. So in my free times i used to do gardening and farming.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
Even after doing all this things, when i see a irregularity in society or people suffering my thoughts would again get filled with rebelist thoughts
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I used to lecture my family with divinity and some perpetual terms. Seeing my lifestyle, my brother said me a thing which made me think about my life.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
" You have everything in your life, you have food,bed and everything a man need. So you will say any words easily. Try to get everything on your own and if u still feel the same then you can do it happily "
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
So i decided myself to get a good life in some profession and if i still have the same thoughts to serve the society then i am good to go.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
And one day my brother said ,"Try acting" I was afraid .I never had a wish to be an actor. And i know that i am not good at it.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
So i went to a acting school for few months under satyadev sir and learned. All my travels helped me now. I am good at slang, i tried to learn some dance which i was not comfortable with and i learned karate too.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I am afraid because every one will compare me with my brother. I am sure that i am not as talented as he . But I wanted to be different.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
So i worked hard for my first few films. I know that they didn't do well. When i look back i understand that i was doing more like my brother , i tried to dance like him , i was trying to imitate him without my knowing, so it is not working well.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
This time i tested myself with my third film suswagatham. It was difficult, i tried every single way to not make people remember my brother
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
And while doing this film, i was emotionally connected to it. Like the hero in this film i neglected many years waiting for something in my life.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
while shooting the final scene , i cried doing it. I dont know why but i remembered my father , i did cry really. When u cry you become strong.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
When i learned that people liked my character in the film , i was happy. But i was afraid when i saw their love towards me i was afraid, afraid more than ever.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
So i waited for a good story. Meanwhile i got fascinated towards guns, i adored them. It gave me a satisfaction, for many years that revolver is the thing i used to see first when i woke up.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
And then came a story called tholiprema. I was elated because this is the one i was waiting for. I know that It is a beautiful story because it is our story, everyone's story.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
And after it's success i worked even more. I used my karate skills more, i wanted to work hard because a success streak is difficult. I dont want to end my streak. I wanted to run. So i did.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
But my thoughts always came back to give something back to my country. I started reading more English books. I started reading different political systems and books related to world history to get a thorough understanding of what works and what not.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
And rumours spread that i was arrogant, i did beat a guy who telecasted movies clips in telivison even after many requests to not telecast. People only see my anger but not the reason that made me angry
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
After Thammudu success , instead of celebrations our team wanted to adopt a small village that it is suffering from fluorosis in nalgonda district. I was confused when we are not allowed to do it by some politicians
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
I didn't understand why did he stop us? I understood that even for doing a good thing you have to face hurdles, you have to face wicked people
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
And i did next two movies, they gave me success they gave me fame. They made me a star. But i never took it on to myself. I was never happy with myself. I always said in interviews " I think i did not give my best " and it was true.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
But while watching kushi, in the middle of film when people are cheering people are happy, i got a feeling that i would be a failure soon.I was not afraid but i lost my energy which i gained through all those hard work in a split second at that time.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
After kushi i lost interest in movies. I dont want to do movies any more. For few days i stayed alone in my farmhouse doing farming
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
People used to come and say me about new stories and films . But i was not ready. I started collecting swords during this time, playing with pets and was all alone doing farming.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
I started talking to myself in those period. I remembered my mistakes. I took many decisions like becoming a vegetarian, stopped promoting products which i was not using and use of less smoking and alcohol scenes in my movies if i do any.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
When i was calm people became more interested in me. They started writing rumours. For few days i ignored them but when they became worse and was causing hurt to my fansi did a protest in that press office.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
I decided to do a movie,but i want to direct it. People said that you are being a fool. Maybe i am ,but i want to do it, because if i can't do it now i can never do it again.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
Inspired by O.henry lastleaf i wrote a small story line and later developed into a full fledged script , i learned martial arts, i worked hard and waited for the result.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
People rejected it , i was not sad but i remained silent. I gave back money for distributors selling my house. I learned more from johnny rather than from my successful films.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
And for the next movies i tried to go back to myself before johnny. But while doing this i forget that i was not being natural , but trying more than what i am, so they didn't give good results.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
This didn't work. This didn't disappoint me. But people started saying to me that you are a failure.
#HBDJanasenaniPawanKalyan
And when i was in my confusion one day there came a problem in my family. She came to media and said that i may kill her. People misunderstand me
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
But i got a chance to suppress my anger, so i submitted my revolver in the nearest police station. That day i killed all my anger, impatience and confusion and i was born as a new man.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I started common man protection force on the same day. With all my ideals i wanted to help people who are really in need. I want to take away disimilarities in society.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
In this process i met many people, many intellectuals, economists and many teachers and people from different background who wanted to serve society , one of them is Raju raviteja.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I once read a quote " How many thousands of books you read doesn't matter , you will get more knowledge by studying one person completely"
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
So for next few years i discussed daily for hours with him for many years about what should be done , i understood that to change this system we have to kill egoism in leaders, we have to bring a new set of leaders.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
In jalsa shooting when trivikram gave me book named " adhunika mahabaratham " i was flattered by the words. I recited them and took them into my life
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
And when i was shooting jalsa , my father died and after three days of that i was shooting for interval, those dialogues in there represent me. I always felt like someone crushing me to the ground, i felt disappointed
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I was happy when my brother said he is contesting in elections, because i was too afraid to be a leader then. I campaigned for him, i went to talk with people in Telangana , we did our best.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
But when we lost elections i didn't feel anything. I took it as a lesson . Anyhow for me politics is not about winning or loosing but bringing a change.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
But things escalated quickly in a year. In tamilnadu while doing panjaa shooting, i sat under a tree and was remembering everything in my life. How i started and how now it was leading.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
Now i am in a position where everything is against me, My brothers party was merged in congress , my personal life became absurd, people started mocking me looking at my failures
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I simply asked god to take me away from this world peacefully. It's been tough all these days, i was tired. I dont want to fight anymore.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
But i recovered myself in this point, i worked hard and success followed with gabbarsingh. For me it isn't special but for the people who loved me all these years , it is special...
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
How state division has done has made me hurt. So i decided to start party " Janasena" which represented all my ideals all over my life
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I know that people won't believe me because of prp decable, but they will surely understand me at the end of my life. They will understand how i did fight with system that is corrupted. I am sure that they will understand me.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I remembered words that my brother said to me " Can you think in the same way when you are in a position that everyone wanted to be "
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
And now Yes , i am ready to leave everything that made me what i am. I know this will work because this is what i wanted to be all the time.
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
And everything that came in between is an illusion
#HBDJanaSenaniPawanKalyan
I want to end this thread saying one of my favorite lines about kalyan.
#HBDJANASENANIPawanKalyan
For his second film his name has changed from kalyan to pawan kalyan with sentiment .This has worked. He has raised to sky-high with his next films.
#HBDJANASENANIPawanKalyan
But wind has a quality, how much fierce it is in one second, it can become calm in the next second. And when we decide that it has ended it can cover in all directions with huge speed
#HBDJANASENANIPawanKalyan
Pawankalyan too is the same. He looses. He wins. He struggles. He learns. He will rise. He will fall. He feels loss as winning and winning as loosing.
#HBDJANASENANIPawanKalyan
Jaihind! Love you anna @PawanKalyan
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