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foone @Foone
, 19 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
"gender" is kinda a terrible word. Cause on one end you have people thinking it means "(assigned) sex" and on the other end you have people thinking it means "personal identity" and other people thinking it means "societal expectations/roles"
and those are very different definitions!

well, I'm guess the people saying it means assigned sex don't think they are.
if your genitals determine your sex and your identity and your roles, this is way less complicated.
which is always the conservative viewpoint on many issues, it seems.
"X or Y? well, X is easier to understand, probably because it's what I was taught as a kid, so definitely X"
in any case, the identity vs role confusion is the one I see more often, which is probably just because who I hang out with.
and it's problematic because people can say things like "GENDER WAS A BAD IDEA" and it's not obvious what they mean by that, because it depends on which definition they're using.
usually people making those statements are on the "roles" side of the gender definition, in which case they're saying gender AS A WAY FOR SOCIETY TO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO is a bad thing.
like if society is saying I need to wear certain clothes or take care of kids / not take care of kids but instead work on office job, if I'm supposed to show emotions or repress them, etc.
and you can definitely say that's bad. that's a perfectly reasonable position to take!
but the problem is that often people say "gender" when they're complaining about that kind of gender role stuff and it's interpreted as "gender-identity" that they're complaining about
where gender-identity is more about your personal gender, how you identify, how you act, rather than any kind of societal roles pushed on you.
and in that perspective, "gender is bad" can be read as almost a personal insult.
saying (personal, non-role) gender is bad not only discredits the gender experiences of cis people but of trans people as well. And suggests that if gender is bad and shouldn't exist, maybe trans people shouldn't either?
this is why "gender critical" is a dogwhistle for TE/RF ideology, it seems.
Which isn't going to be obviously interpreted as such by everyone because some people could easily be "yeah, definitely! I'm very critical of gender!"
because they're interpreting gender in the role-sense: society telling them what to wear, do, feel, based on their gender.
I dunno. I don't really have some Grand Conclusion here. I'm just saying that there's clearly a disconnect or at least some ambiguity in how the word is being used, even in left circles (where we're not conflating gender/roles/sex)
so be aware of that when talking about gender. You might not be talking about the same definition of gender, which is only going to lead to confusion, especially on places like twitter where you have to be terse and assume common vocabulary
but let me just say, since it kinda vanished in the edit of that last tweet:
if I'm saying things like "GENDER WAS A MISTAKE" I definitely mean it in the role sense.
Cause my perspective is that society telling you what to do based on your gender is bullshit.
But you having whatever gender you say you have? great! Enjoy, and I'll do my best to respect your identity.
I don't mean to discredit your identity because I don't like society's ideas of gender roles and what they mean. I think you should be able to wear all the pants or dresses you want, do whatever jobs (and raising kids IS A JOB), express whatever emotions or hide them.
I just don't think those attributes need to be connected to a gender.
So I'm supporting the "gender is personal, not role-based" point of view.
If that makes sense.
oh and if it's not clear: I'm also not saying that you HAVE TO reject gender roles if that's what you want to do.
Just that equally you shouldn't have to accept them, and you should realize that it's a choice you can make.
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