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Rhonda Ragsdale @profragsdale
, 7 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
I keep seeing this 'why did she wait so long to tell' question in response to numerous #metoo and other disclosure events about sexual harassment/assault. It's a constant undermining of what it actually takes to stand up to an abuser.
Asking victims to deal with confronting a sexual harasser or assaulter while they r trying to recover is so cold. Some can, some try - most of us just can't do it right then. It's incredibly ridiculous to ask us to do it on someone else's time frame.
I was raped in college, my 1st year. I've mentioned it here. I never reported it. He was a football player for the university; my dad was the local sex crimes detective. I told some people and sent him a message on FB once. That's all I have been able to do. That's my business.
I had a lot of work to do in therapy and in everyday life, in relationships - trying to stay in college, starting my career - adding on more things I was supposed to do while surviving how that affected me was too much to ask of me.
And yet -- when I disclose this rape to male friends, they almost all respond with "I hope you reported it" - their first response is to place their hopes for what I did or didn't do onto all of the weight of what I just said happened to me.
Duuuuuudes ... quit telling people how and when they should deal with being sexually harassed/assaulted. It's not for u to question or decide. Quit trying to make that your business. It's a diversion of the real issue - and that is that it happened.
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