Okay, I actually want to talk about this for a second, regarding millennials and how really goddamn difficult it is for us to make sense of our own age sometimes.
I haven’t done, like, a Sociology about this, but I strongly suspect that a significant percentage of us are struggling with the fact that many of the benchmarks for different stages of adulthood that we grew up with no longer apply to us, and it’s causing us to feel unmoored.
Adults are supposed to get married. A lot of us aren’t getting married. Adults are supposed to have kids. A lot of us aren’t doing that. Adults are supposed to get past college and get a Real Job. A lot of us aren’t doing that.
Adults are supposed to stop playing with toys, or at least to switch to different toys, like tools and cars and boats. And. Well. Uh.
Add to that the fact that we literally don’t experience time the way we used to. Time is both stretched and collapsed, especially right now. Years feel like months. Weeks feel like years. The past is smashed into the future which folds into the present.
Yeah, THIS. What even *is* a “job” anymore? What the hell is a “career”? How does one get those?
Labor and its stability and the identity it gives you is one of the ways we were always supposed to know we were GROWN THE HELL UP. Where is that for us? Some of us have it, but it does not define our adulthood the way it did for our parents.
I was having tea with @phippsdontlie last year and talking about all this stuff I buy and wear, and wondering if there was an age when I wasn’t allowed to have it anymore. Is there an age when I can no longer wear skinny jeans? But I *like* skinny jeans.
And please spare me “YOU’RE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL” and “WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT”, because my dude, that is useless and entirely beside my point.
My point is that I don’t know what adult means.
I’m looking around for clothes, for *anything* that is a cultural benchmark of what it means to be 40 year old Sunny and 50 year old Sunny and I swear to God I have absolutely nothing, I don’t know what that looks like.
One of the things this means is that a lot of Millennials feel stuck in arrested development, and you see the reinforcement of our infantilization through the thinkpieces about us.
People write about us like we’re still barely in college, when a lot of us are entering our mid and even late thirties. *A lot of us are close to forty goddamn years old.*
You see? The world itself doesn’t know how old we are.
But something else that happens - and I notice this so keenly in myself these days - is a sense of panic, that we’re getting older and running out of time and *we haven’t even grown the fuck up yet*.
Think about that for a second.
We’re not complaining about how we’re getting old, or at least I’m not. That’s not what makes my stomach quivery. It’s the sense that the world is speeding up and speeding up and I’m running out of time and I don’t own a house and I don’t have kids and oh my god what the fuck
We’re not in a mid-life crisis. Millennials are experiencing a *goddamn crisis of temporality*. We don’t know if we’re old. We don’t know if we’re young. We don’t know what we’re doing. We’ve lost our guideposts, our benchmarks, our rubrics for life.
And people blame us for it.
And it really doesn’t help that we’re approaching middle age (WHATEVER THAT EVEN MEANS ANYMORE) in an deeply toxic economic system, with a global future currently very much in doubt, and our parents won’t stop fucking us over.
So the next time you hear a Millennial in their thirties complaining about feeling old, maybe listen to the words behind the words. Because we are living through some shit.
Also our knees and backs hurt and we don’t have health insurance.
Also there’s a very real prospect that many of us won’t be able to afford to retire. We’re not the only generation facing that, or the only generation that’s ever faced that, but you need to understand that we’re facing that in the context of having been lied to.
Oh, and please don’t respond to this with “other people have gone through this too” because
A) I know, I do social-historical academic work
B) Every generation experiences similar trends in different ways and we are experiencing *radical* differences from what our parents did.
I’m not going to go into an even longer Twitter essay about atemporality but please just understand that this is not something about which I am prepared to argue. It’s just true.
Oh, and additional caveat: I’m not even beginning to get into race and class here because this is a twitter thread not an academic paper and I don’t feel equipped right now to give that the attention it deserves; just be aware that I know I’m oversimplifying a lot here.
AND quick denouement: just to make things nice and confusing for me personally I’m 34 and this is my hair and no it is not dyed 😃
I don’t have a SoundCloud or anything but if you want to give me money you can toss my poor entitled Millennial ass a buck or two here
This looks like everything I want. Mass Effect but it’s Skyrim. Nothing emotionally challenging, nothing uncomfortable, just a story people put 1000s of hours into which I’ll immediately ignore and Todd Howard gently massaging my brain for months of my one wild and precious life
Trump cult members actually love rules and norms—as tools for the capricious application of power, to constrain and oppress.
And of course, the rules still would apply to *them*, but Trump allows them the vicarious thrill of not having to worry about that.
It’s the same thing as the right wing obsession with “law and order”; deep down—and sometimes not so deep—they love cops not because of any notion of public safety or justice but as a violent fascist paramilitary force that targets everyone they dislike or fear.
This is actually the thing I can’t get over in terms of why tech is still trying to make this particular brand of fetch happen—*people do not like it, for very real and deep-seated social reasons*.
One could argue that eventually people will feel differently as this kind of tech gets normalized—but the thing is that in order for it to be socially normalized, people need to adopt and use it in sufficient numbers first.
This especially is key, I think, for why using this kind of device is different from looking at your phone when hanging out with a friend.
Those of us who are heavy phone users have incorporated it into our system of social cues and signals, and it wasn’t that hard to do so.
I’m really tired of comforting myself with “well hopefully more Boomers will die soon”, it feels shitty
Want to emphasize that I am not actively choosing to comfort myself with that thought, it’s a function of recognizing that a particular demographic subset of a particular age cohort has been clinging to power and obstructing progress for decades
And they’re clearly not going to stop of their own volition.
Not saying Millennials and Gen X are great, but we aren’t overrepresented in government, at least not yet, so the situation is what the situation is.
Y’all, this is another reason why masking needs to be normalized. This is just how summers are now, all over the country. If you don’t hate your lungs, watch the AQI and use respirators accordingly, this is so fucking basic
The present we’ve created for ourselves in the past means that wearing KN95s/N95s as needed is just going to be a normal feature of your life if you give a shit about your own health, I don’t like masks either but suck it up