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Isolated Brit @IsolatedBrit
, 22 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
UK Problem/Solution thread...
UK Problem: we only got our way 98% of the time in the EU.
UK Solution: quit EU & compare it to USSR.
UK Problem: skills gaps & staff shortages.
UK Solution: scrap freedom of movement.
UK Problem: no one takes us seriously.
UK Solution: appoint proven liar & former comedy-show panellist as Foreign Secretary.
UK Problem: housing!
UK Solution: leave 1.5 million buildings standing empty, put up rents, stop building social housing & blame the EU.
UK Problem: rise of extremism.
UK Solution: invite extremists on telly & ask them wot they think about it.
UK Problem: Russian media-manipulation.
UK Solution: Invite Russian Ambassador on telly to get his point of view.
UK Problem: inequality!
UK Solution: invite Eton-educated toffs on telly to blame foreign workers.
UK Problem: Russians murdering people.
UK Solution: Hope they don't kill a UK civilian. Go on "Russia Today" to demand "more evidence".
UK Problem: overstretched public services.
UK Solution: invite "Tax Payers' Alliance" on TV to explain why rich folk should pay less tax. Block EU from tackling tax-avoidance. Blame EU. Turn UK into a tax haven.
UK Problem: can't get an #NHS appointment.
UK Solution: scrap freedom of movement for workers. Sell NHS to USA after #Brexit.
UK Problem: criminal subversion of UK Electoral Law.
UK Solution: don't investigate that stuff.
UK Problem: lethally bad air quality.
UK Solution: scrap health, safety, environment regs after #Brexit. Blame EU.
UK Problem: regular flooding!
UK Solution: refuse EU flood-aid cash. Blame EU for not helping.
UK Problem: congestion on roads.
UK Solution: blame immigrants.
UK Problem: all evidence points to #Brexit catastrophe.
UK Solution: tell people to "believe in Brexit" & not listen to experts.
UK Problem: half our trade is with the EU.
UK Solution: quit the EU, Single Market, Custom Union & introduce rationing.
UK Problem: money-laundering & corruption.
UK Solution: don't investigate that stuff. Suggest scrapping the Serious Fraud Office.
UK Problem: law & order!
UK Solution: reduce Police budget, lie about Police numbers, quit Europol. Blame EU.
UK Problem: security!
UK Solution: cut Armed Forces & Intel budgets, don't update computer systems, start foreign wars & blame EU for refugees.
UK Problem: country is divided!
UK Solution: weaponize the media, start lots of political movements to split the major parties, employ big-data psyops mercenaries to plant targeted ads, lie, cheat, break Electoral Law, blame "The Elites". Blame the EU (obvs).
UK Problem: #Brexit will hit UK businesses hard.
UK Solution: suggest that UK businesses leave the UK.
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