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Sarah Ruth Ashcraft @SaRaAshcraft
, 37 tweets, 18 min read Read on Twitter
2 years ago I had only just begun recovering memories of childhood sexual abuse by my father. I attributed all of my pain & symptoms to a complex medical condition, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3, a diagnosis assigned to me in 2015. I would come to learn my "symptoms" were induced
I was desperate to figure out what was wrong, to feel better, & to learn how to be a chronic patient rather than a productive member of society. As I grappled with my new reality, I posted many of my personal reflections on Facebook: "Big day today and more in the coming weeks...
...thoracic & lumbar MRI, urodynamic testing, thyroid ultrasound & meetings w/ a neurosurgeon, GI, pulmonologist & new PT. Any extra health & healing vibes you can spare I will gladly receive and use to the fullest extent"

I was so naive. Everyone around me was making me sick.
In my naivety, I offered some words of wisdom to fellow pain patients grappling with the challenging reality of living with a chronic condition:

"The key to living life to the fullest with EDS is proper daily management & LOTS of doctors. I'm starting to get the hang of it..."
I would later realize that many of my most acute, debilitating symptoms were being actively induced by those around me & that my own mother was stealing my CSF at night while I stayed in her house. I was 35. I even had a CSF leak in her kitchen in June'15: threadreaderapp.com/thread/1015451…
Depleted CSF impairs the body's ability to innervate limbs & organs. It causes weakness in the arms, semi-paralysis in the legs, headaches, intense pain, vertigo, nausea/vomiting, inability to digest food properly, weak spinal muscle support, and other problems that all compound.
I felt like absolute SH*T around my "family" - all of them pretending to feel sorry for me in my intense suffering while actually getting a kick out of it and then stealing all the hormones my body was making in overdrive. They made me sick to make them well. They STOLE MY HEALTH
In addition to autonomic dysfunction, extreme pain & headaches, I also have multiple joint dysfunctions & nerve issues (herniated C5-7 & L4-5, TMJD, rib & SI subluxations, bilateral sciatica, peripheral neuropathy, etc). Was it EDS, or was it CSF theft that caused all this?
These functional abnormalities of my organs & musculoskeletal system are PERMANENT & DEGENERATIVE. My brain & brain stem are "abnormal" & much of what I continue to experience is a result of a bent brain stem. The abuse BROKE MY NECK & it will never return to normal.
I've seen 20+ doctors in the last 3 years trying to figure out how to FEEL better & learn how to LIVE instead of just survive with this "condition." At least half of those doctors were cult & many did more harm than good. Like prescribing meds that made me MORE sick internally
Many of the Drs I saw took a LOT of blood & claimed they were doing allergy testing or looking for things like Lyme. In reality, I now understand they were most likely just taking my blood to distill the high levels of adrenaline & cortosol in it to convert to DRUGS for the cult.
My last day of work in May 2015, I saw a neurosurgeon & scheduled neck surgery (2 level ACDF) b/c I couldn't stand the pain any more. By March 2016, I was no longer a candidate for surgery due to EDS, which was good news at the time, though it meant I would be disabled forever.
I resorted to Botox injections in my face at $900 a pop + the cost of trips to see a specialist in Ohio. It helped, for a while, but it's extremely expensive & once I understood my abuse, I was no longer okay with having bio-toxins injected into my face near my brain. Seems risky
I am going to have to deal with this pain & dysfunction throughout my entire body, including my organs, for the rest of my life. Though I may regain some functioning & quality of life, my BODY is PERMANENTLY DAMAGED from the abuse. They literally stole my health, my time, MY LIFE
They made me think I had food allergies when really I just wasn't able to digest food at all due to CSF theft. They would plant so many "causes" in my mind to make sure I would attribute my symptoms to anything other than the truth: They were actively harming me every day.
My mom started baking w/ garbanzo flour in "solidarity." I had been generally food deprived for over a year when I posted this on FB on 11/16/16:

"#thatfaceyoumake when you get to eat a cookie for the first time in a year. My mom is the absolute best #garbanzobeanflowerisbetter"
The fact that eating a f*ing cookie brought me to tears should tell you just how food deprived I was. My immune system was in over drive - the abuse epigenetically created Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (basically constant anaphylaxis) & gastroparesis. I weighed less than 120 lbs.
Noticing the date she did this, it was immediately after I admitted to her that I was having memories of child sex abuse by my father. In hindsight, I recognize that she ALWAYS made me cookies the day after a ritual night when they would abuse me. It's a TRIGGER to forget.
I was even saying out loud to my mom & step dad "I feel like I'm being poisoned. I feel like someone figured out Eugenics and I'm being targeted." I was 100% CORRECT. They just stared blankly, offering mocking sympathy, all the while delighting in their "power" over my mind.
I was essentially subsisting on coffee, eggs, sweet potatoes & corn; vomiting every day & chronic inability to digest food for more than 2 years. When @cronsell & I fled, recognizing the extreme & immediate danger I was in, I was only 109 lbs & could barely eat anything.
Ding Ding Ding #CannibalsAreAnimals What they did isn't just cannibalistic, is PARASITIC. I was their "host"

I underwent an enormity of testing & treatment, which cost more than $130K in 2015-2016 between out of pocket expenses & things covered by insurance. TMJ appliance & Jaw MRI June 2015, spinal injection April 2015, Sleep study November 2015. It seemed never ending. I was desperate
In May 2015 my (now ex) husband & his parents took me to Cannes, France during the film festival (where he & his family fed off me & I became VERY sick the 1st night there; I'm also missing 1 day from that trip in my memory). We got a puppy the day we returned. I was 150 lbs then
In the year that followed, I lost so much weight and was basically couch bound. During our last vacation together, my ex husband took me to the FL Keys, I was about 120lbs by that time in Feb 2016. That summer, I left him & moved back to my mom's house. I thought I was dying.
I was unaware of the abuse, so I fully believed everything I was experiencing was due to my complex medical condition (EDS 3, Chiari, Dysautonomia, Gastroparesis, etc etc). I began researching & sharing information about these conditions as part of my healing process.
Y'all ready for some #HiviteTactics? The mascot for EDS is a ZEBRA, a prey animal that is hunted/eaten by Lions. The cannibal cult often refers to themselves as Lions. They tricked me into FLAGGING myself as a cult victim/food by donning zebra print (like a good beta slave).
I no longer wear animal print & never will again. I'm not your FOOD, cannibals.
#CannibalsAreAnimals who eat human flesh, blood, and CSF. They are DECEIVERS. #DeceptionKills

#ItEndsNOW #BurnDownBabylon #HivitesGetLit #ByePhoenicia #TheGreatAwakening #QAnon @POTUS #WWG1WGA
Despite all I've done to isolate myself from further abuse, regain functioning, & heal to the best of my ability, I still have to take muscle relaxers & pain killers & supplements, as well as use & wear a lot of assistive devices just to get through daily life. My body is BROKEN.
The theft is irreplaceable. There is no way to "make whole" again what has been broken. And if it wasn't enough already, I am STILL dealing with abuse & TERRORISM by this cult. They won't be satisfied until I'm dead or give up. They have zero respect for me or my life/health.
In the end, God wins. Good wins. The TRUTH always prevails eventually. I would rather die than live in a world where I have to join them in gaslighting my own body into denying the truth of what I experienced. #ItEndsNOW The choice to #SayBraveThings is a survival imperative now.
When each doctor I saw made it clear that modern medicine doesn't understand or know how to treat my "medical condition" I decided that SELF HEALING was my best option. I now consider the word "healthy" to be neither noun nor adjective, but a COMMAND: Heal Thy (self, mind, body).
The cult desperately wants me to abuse myself for them, but I take my healing very seriously. I'm constantly striving to improve, even when it hurts or brings me to tears. I rebuke any & all things that contribute to my feeling sick. I HONOR MY BODY when it tells me what it needs
This is why, when these waves of coordinated attacks swell, I REFUSE to feel any fear, doubt, shame, or guilt. I recognize it for what it is: #HiviteTactics aimed only at making me harm my own body through my fight/flight overreaction that THEY created in me so they could EAT it.
The body tells the truth. The psyche is a powerful creator of reality, internally. "We are defined by how WE define our reality." This is my reality.
I even stopped talking to my sisters & my dad MONTHS before I began remembering the abuse, simply because being around any of them for any amount of time made me so anxious I would vomit & be down for the count for days after. I literally developed an allergy to my "family"
Thus, I have exactly ZERO tolerance for willful agitation. Stress exists in life, and learning how to healthfully manage stressors is part of my work on this path. But I refuse to allow anyone to insert poison into my body via my mind any more. #Covfefe

I appreciate everyone's support & compassion. Thank you for offering words of advice. The very best & most helpful thing any of y'all can do for me right now is PRAY. Pray for healing, resolution, & justice for me & @cronsell. Pray for intercession so they can't abuse us anymore.
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