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The Irish Border @BorderIrish
, 23 tweets, 5 min read Read on Twitter
- Jim
- Yes, Border
- What are you doing?
- Just standing here
- I see that. And I don’t mind, but it’s just that you said you were Leaving
- I am
- ... two years ago. And you’ve been standing there since then
- Doing nothing
- Doing, as you say, nothing
- I’m Leaving
- Ok, Jim
- Still here so, Jim?
- I am, Border
- But you’re still ...
- Leaving. 100%. Leaving.
- Do you not feel like a bit a prick, Jim, you know saying you’re Leaving but then
- Standing here for two years in the open air doing absolutely zilch?
- That’s it, Jim
- I’m Leaving
- Ok, Jim
- Jim
- Yes, Border
- Have you thought about how to Leave?
- In what way?
- Moving is not really my area of expertise, but just off the top of my head, you could go that way👉, or that way👈. You could 🚶‍♂️or🏃🏼‍♂️or even✈️
- You’re being difficult now. I’m Leaving
- Ok, Jim
- Border
- Jim
- This is quite boring, isn’t it?
- It is that
- Did you ever hear tell of a lad called Samuel Beckett, Border?
- Oh aye. Went to school round here. Quiet lad
- ...
- Still Leaving, Jim?
- Still Leaving, Border
- Ok, Jim
- Looking forward to Leaving, Jim?
- Oh yes
- Why?
- The weather
- The weather?
- It’s going to be sunny
- Sunny?
- Yes. And uphill
- Uplands is the word, I think, Jim
- Yes. Funny uphills
- Sunny uplands, Jim
- That’s it. I’m Leaving
- Ok, Jim
- Are you ok, there, Jim?
- Oh aye, no bother, Border
- Alright. Well I’m going to sleep soon, Jim
- Goodnight, Border. I’m Leaving
- I know ... So you’ll still be here tomorrow morning, Jim?
- I will. But I’m Leaving
- Ok, Jim
- Brrrrrrr
- Are you cold, Jim? It’s a fair cool night
- N-n-n-not c-c-cold
- Have you no coat?
- I’m w-w-wrapped in my n-n-n-newly regained s-s-s-sovereignty, so I am
- It doesn’t seem to be keeping you very warm
- I’m L-L-L-Leaving, B-B-Border
- I heard that. Ok, Jim
- Jim
- ❄️
- Jim!
- ❄️
- Jim, @LaoishaO thinks this thread is being a bit cruel to you and I should give you a 🧥
- F-f-f-f ....
- Now there’s no need for that
- ... f-f-flag. Give me a flag to wrap myself in
- Oh, I see. Here you go. 🇬🇧
- Still Leaving
- Ok, Jim
- Jim
- Yes, Border
- Do you have a Twitter account?
- No.
- Ok, Jim
- Morning, Border
- Jim. Still here. In the same spot
- Aye, but I’m
- ... Leaving, I know. You mentioned it. Game of chess later?
- Maybe, but I could have Left by then
- Ok, Jim
- Right, Border, game of chess
- You’ve set up the board
- I have and I’m ready to play. You’re white, so it’s your move
- Jim, we’ve had this problem before. Every time you set up the board you give me the white chess pieces and yourself black draught pieces
- I’m Leaving
- Ok
- When you Leave, Jim ...
- ... which will be soon, Border ...
- which will be soon, do you favour the Norway model?
- No way, Border. Having Left means Having Left. We can rely on WTF
- Do you mean WTO?
- No, I'm pretty sure it's WTF
- Ok, Jim
- Border
- Hello, Jean
- I see Jim’s still here
- He’s been particularly static today
- I’m Leaving
- We know, Jim
- Woof
- Jean
- Yes, Border?
- Your wee dog is peeing on Jim’s leg
- Woof woof
- I’m Leaving
- Ok, Jim
- Jim, this thread is backfiring. People are beginning to feel sorry for you
- They’re forgetting that I’m Leaving because I staged an idiotically simple referendum on a complex issue, dog whistled my way through it, & am now standing here paralyzed because I’m clueless
- Ok, Jim
- Morning, Jim
- Good morning, Border. It’s going to be a great day for Leaving
- Undoubtedly. I know this is a strange question Jim, but are you sure your name’s not Dan?
- I don’t think so. Why do you ask?
- No reason. Ok, Jim
- Morning, Jim. Did you remember to put your clock back?
- I did, Border. It gives me an extra hour to Leave
- Ok, Jim
- Still here, Jim
- Yes but I’m Leaving
- Yeah, look Jim, I think a deal could be done this week and you’re going to have to...
- Leave? Actually I’m not quite sure I’m ready for that
- It’s more looking-like-you’re-Leaving-but-also-not-Leaving
- Well I’m ready for that
- Ok, Jim
- Border
- Jim, you scared me. I forgot you were still here
- You know how I’m Leaving
- Yes, Jim
- Well, I’m beginning to think ...
- Think what?
- ... that arguing with myself all day about it isn’t helping
- I find it very entertaining, if that’s any comfort, Jim
- Ok, Border
- Jim
- Border
- Still here, then
- 95% ready to Leave
- But 100% still here
- I hadn’t quite understood how hard it would be
- Ok, Jim
- Border
- How’s it going, Jim?
- Good. I’m Leaving. Well, I think I’m Leaving. I might be kind of staying and also Leaving a wee bit to make it look like I’m Leaving more than I’m actually Leaving
- Have you been reading @SamCoatesTimes, Jim?
- I have
- It’s ok, Jim
- Jim. Jim. Jim!
- 😬
- Are you ok, Jim?
- Ahm neavin
- Sorry?
- Aaaahmmm NEAVING
- You’re Leaving? Ok. Why are you talking like that, Jim?
- Ahm aralyzed, Order. Omletely nable ta move
- Paralyzed?
- Nnnn Yes. Nut Ahm neavin
- Ok, Jim
- Border
- Jim
- Is it ...?
- I don’t know, Jim
- Am I ...?
- No one knows, Jim
- I think I’m a bit scared, Border
- Me too, Jim
- Maybe we should ...
- .. just stay here and wait together for bit longer?
- That’s what I was thinking
- Ok, Jim
Please respect Jim’s privacy at this difficult time
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