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Santa Claus, CEO @SantaInc
, 8 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
‘Twas the night before the Election,
And just like a mouse,
The Republicans were scurrying,
“We’re losing the House!”
Melania was nestled,
All snug in her bed,
While visions of “someone else”...
Danced in her head.
#ElectionDay #ElectionEve
And Trump in his suit,
And his ill-fitting tie,
Had just settled down,
To tweet some more lies.
When out on the Front Lawn,
Arose such a clutter,
Trump sprang from the bed,
“Oh shit! Is it Mueller??”
When, what to Trump’s
Wondering eyes couldn’t miss,
Trump knew in a moment
It must be St. Nick,
“Look at those hands!
He’s got a huge dick!”
So atop the White House,
Santa Claus did fly,
With a fire in his belly,
And a twinkle in his eye.
Trump ran down the stairs,
(He’s afraid of those things),
And Santa came down,
The chimney in the East Wing.
The Secret Service sprang out,
With guns drawn on his head,
Santa played it cool,
Or else he’d be dead.
“Why are you here?” Trump bellowed,
While his double-chin shook,
“I’ve got an election tomorrow!”
But Santa just gave a look.
Santa said not a word,
And went straight to his sack,
Opened it for all to see,
“Take a look at this, you hack.”
Trump gazed in the bag,
And screamed in aghast,
Inside were absentee ballots,
“I’m delivering them, you ass.”
“I’ve got them from cities,”
Santa said with a grin,
“Liberals and college students,
Who’ve all mailed it in.”
“Say hello to a Democrat Congress,
You’re losing control,
My next stop is taking these ballots,
Straight to the polls.”
Santa stuck out a finger,
The middle one, you know,
Then up, up, up,
The chimney he rose.
And Trump heard him exclaim,
As Santa left in a flutter.
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