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Jules @JulesDaulby
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@MrARawlings @JarlathOBrien You've triggered me into doing a thread - stand by! I'll use #parentpartnership and it'll be 13 tweets (I think )
@MrARawlings A thread on #parentpartnership - thanks to Alex for triggering - see Q 👆.


The parent/carer is the expert in their child & often in the SEND identified - they may have had hours in waiting rooms and in meetings with paediatricians etc

Listen to them REALLY listen
@MrARawlings #parentpartnership

"I would rather the school had told me they weren't able to educate Ella than pretend to me they could"

You don't have to have the answers - it's OK to say we're not sure what to do, can you advise? What might help?

Work together.
@MrARawlings @elly_chapple 3/13

How to be N.I.C.E. to parents

I'm a teacher I have to use acronyms

N = notification
Have they been told their child is on the SEN register, that they're in intervention?

Are they contacted once things are already in free fall? Early notification 🗝
@MrARawlings #parentpartnership

I = Information

Do they get enough info? Can you signpost them to charities? To SENDIASS? To @IPSEAcharity ?

Also, if you have a child who is uncommunicative, finds school hard or are disorganised, they won't necessarily tell parents what they need.
@MrARawlings @IPSEAcharity #parentpartnership

C = Communication

May need better & more regular comms due to needs of child.

Keep communication channels open & informal.

Try to fit in not dictate - preventative not reactive.

Texting might be helpful or email.

Do they work or have other kids?
@MrARawlings #parentpartnership


E = Empathy

Please believe them.

'He's fine with me' NEVER a good look.

Child may be good in school & explode at home or vice versa.

Parent blame not useful & it won't solve anything.

Try to understand position and take concerns seriously.
@MrARawlings 7/14


Parent blame goes right to top of education chain.

Amanda Spielman of evidence-based institution OFSTED once said 'parents use ADHD & medication as an excuse for poor behaviour'.

Not helpful. No research to prove this. Ill-informed. Not N.I.C.E.
@MrARawlings 8/14


I delivered this talk to Bromley Parent & Carers & a mum came up to me afterwards telling me I should add T for trust. She told me she hadn't trusted the school & especially regarding SEND, would not admit difficulties. @ros_luff
@MrARawlings @ros_luff #parentpartnership

T ruined my acronym though.

So I added S = support

So my acronym has grown to

'Being the N.I.C.E.S.T. you can be to parent and carers.'
@MrARawlings @ros_luff #parentpartnership


None of us our angels

My mistake with a parent

I'd ended up locking horns with a parent - I wouldn't budge, she wouldn't budge. The battle was between us & neither of were going to capitulate.

A colleague gently offered to work with the parent.
@MrARawlings @ros_luff #parentpartnership


'I'm worried' she said, 'that we're putting {student's name} education at risk.'

😱 I was mortified - I had been so wrapped up with being right and winning the battle that I'd forgotten about the child.

It was a real lesson for me.
@MrARawlings @ros_luff #parentpartnership


And this is true parent partnership. When the school and the family work together in the best interests of the child.

If the child knows that you are working together in true partnership, I think they often feel safer and less anxious too. 😀
@MrARawlings @ros_luff #parentpartnership


United we stand
Divided we fall
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