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Tinu Abayomi-Paul is tiiired. @Tinu
, 17 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
The sick part is that many of us being denied effective pain medication, to the extent that we can no longer work, don’t want or seek the high dose that is often referenced.
Today #myspoons were so fully depleted that after hours trying to recover, I still can’t fall asleep.

Too much pain.
I’m pretty good with words. Not to toot my own horn but I’ve been winning awards for it since grade school.

I mention that not only to brag.
I mention it to say that even with the gifts bestowed upon me as a scribe?

I still can’t find the words to describe drowning in an endless ocean of #ChronicPain.
It’s not just those moments when you can’t even think of anything else.

It’s knowing that tomorrow will be the same or worse
There are some people who need high doses of morphine to function, and not die of things like pain-induced heart attacks.
This evening I sat in the reclining sofa sectional my mother bought so I could spend time with our family in relative comfort.
And I couldn’t tell you more than a couple of things that happened in the four plus hours that we watched TV.
Yeah the kids were noisy, sure the brain fog was part of it. But the worst by far was being the pain in my legs and back.
I was in so much pain that I was nauseated. And being on a prescription-strength NSAID that is not nearly strong enough, I had to take it with food.
Then of course I was fighting a headache, hoping it won’t turn into a migraine.
Much like torture, whether I do everything exactly right or screw up royally, I can’t even plan@for tomorrow.
It might be better. As often as not it’s the same or worse. Sometime something as simply asa gel or rub helps.
Sometimes nothing helps. It just hurts and you want to lay on the floor and cry.
I’m so sick of this. Because there IS treatment. They’ve just decided to deny our meds to look like they’re trying to deal with a crisis they made up.
Yes people are dying and it’s sad and they should do something to treat addicts.

But what they’re doing doesn’t work and it’s at the cost of human suffering.
Anyway. I have o be up at 9. So I’m going to at least try to rest in the dark.
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