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Shawn Micallef @shawnmicallef
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🎄The 2018 edition of #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto begins with the tree at Yonge & Bloor, the standard all trees are measured against: the noble hardworking centre of the universe tree at Cumberland Terrance. 10/10🎄
Dufferin Mall No Frills tree. Located above raw meat. Yule log hearth scene + traditional holly jolly bug zapper. Excellent tableaux. Minus 4 points for vegetarian alienation. Tree eschews “no frills” doctrine w its buxom gold bling. 11/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Dragon City Chinatown tree. Spadina & Dundas. Robust garland plumage indicates good times, yet sparse snow cover on ground may be subtle comment on climate change. Happy snow person does its best to distract from omnipresent cable news. 12/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Nations supermarket tree @ Stockyards. Vast former Target space to fill. Intense use of soda. Pallets keep it real, an allusion to meat packing? Added points for width, minus 3 for irregular dove placement. 11/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Old Commerce Court basement tree. Just another tree in the 30km of PATH tunnels in Toronto, or allegory for the lopsidedness of global financial markets? Big balls. Small balls. Unequal distribution. +2 honesty. 9/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Arms-length (for now) gov’t agency tree 1 in @unionstationTO — tree knows to keep its head down in age of austerity. Yet tree may one day be able to travel to Wawa on subway: could unplug & pack up its skirt in a jiffy. Nimble tree! 12/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
The @SpacingStore tree, decorated with bus & streetcar ornaments of various vintage. A fabulous tree. Rating withheld due to institutional bias. #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Tree in the downtown 1975 brutalist spaceport Hilton. Present-festooned-plinth matches concrete hue. Tree’s height & majesty take attn away from terrible 2000s-ish swoopy-railing interior design renovations. This tree is an xmas hero. 12/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Triptych of trees above Assembly Chef’s Hall (& below Google) in a 1954 Peter Dickinson bldn. Bold ball action - continuity with wall stars - mid century goodness. Reminiscent of old tyme popcorn stings. Skilled tucking of underskirt. 13/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Humbertown rotating tree scene on top of summertime waterfall. 1950s indoor outdoor plaza, soon redeveloped w more density but area grinch NIMBYs protested. Rotating scene depicts delusional density & built form Etobicoke ratepayers imagine themselves living in. 11/10
Dufferin Mall tree. Climate reality tree, snow can’t be sustained on upper boughs. Melting snow scene on floor is the new nativity. Bold move by normally risk averse, apolitical beloved mall. 11/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Holt Renfrew tree. Excellent dusting of snow & robust display of couture consumption. Wider-scene depicts fictional mise en scène of imaginary world where shopping carts are used at Holt’s. Minus 6 for making fun of shopping carts. 10.5/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Richmond Queen Centre. A Ziegler/Eyes Wide Shut-worthy tree. Highlights wild structure of heritage-contemporary mash up. A marked improvement over last year’s upside down hanging tree here. Do not hang your tree, especially upside down. 13/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
The @SonicBoomMusic tree. Includes selfie-ready Bumble, the Rankin/Bass abominable snowman. Retro-style soft-focus bulbs give tree an analogue advantage. It’s always good to have books near a tree. 14/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
The infamous @uoftlibraries Robarts book tree. Constructed w green National Union Catalogues + this year, more red New York Theatre Critics Reviews anthologies for increased festivity. Taller & less squat than b4. Each yr more daring. 13.5/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
I prefer to keep this thread non-meta but I see the @uoftlibraries folk have created a time-lapse of their book tree creation.
“The Allegro” at 909 Bay Street trees. Double trees, befitting Operatic theatrics. Building named “The Allegro” as it was built on site designated for Toronto’s opera house, designed in high PoMo by Moshe Sadfie, but killed by Prov Gov’t during early 90s recession. 11/10
Hudson Bay fashion tree. Metaphorical depiction of aloof fashion world, unworried about the practicalities of the day. Strong-looking root bulb. Odd choice to decorate b4 transport, unless this is a tree theft in progress. 12/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Canadian Tire headquarters tree. A restrained tree considering the amount of Xmas product placement they could have went with. A Mastercrafted tree. 10/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
The @tvo building lobby wreaths (in lieu of visible tree). Putting the O in Ontario. Kind of has a Shining vibe - nothing to do with Ontario politics surely. No rating because it isn’t a tree. #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Yonge - Eglinton Centre trees. Midtown trees, mid size it seems. Young & Eligible trees opt for modest presence & do not fill the massive space as they could. Millennials to blame, it is said. 10.5/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
The great golden tree of the concrete & chrome Sheraton Hotel. What bounty do provincial visitors see when arriving in the big city! American visitors must, too, feel at home with its big blingness. Go big or go straight to Boxing Day! 11/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Queens Quay Terminal trees. It’s a Tim Hortons trash Christmas, so + 4 for authenticity. Austere presentation may be homage to building’s industrial heritage & former home of Premier Mike Harris (and a few Raptors, they say). 10/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
The famed @AWCanada tree at their Junction location. Meatless tree, only a few toppings available so it does not overwhelm the How’d We Do feedback terminal. Minus 5 for lack of skirt. This isn’t Hanlan’s Point, this is the Junction. 14/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Roncesvalles United Church community tree. The bar has been raised. Thicket of lights, slightly feral, sparkling electricity. Tree donated by @sweetpeasTO. What more do you want from a tree? 34/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto #HolyEdition
1152 College street tree @ Portuguese insurance broker. Diminutive yet delivers above weight. Skirt draping action well executed. Old school garland. Helmet-like tree stand suggest insurance industry is solid. 11/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
The @OntarioPlace winter light fest tree. Thickest web of lights yet: a crust of light. This tree will defend Ontario Place from the advancing hoards who wish to devour it for grifting profit. Long live this tree. 67/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
The Metro Central @YMCAGTA Tree. Good form. Lit by floodlights from within (unique!). Not for profit tree eschews a skirt understandably. A wee Merry Christmas on upper boughs but, like the YMCA itself, an ecumenical tree. 16.4/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
More @unionstationTO: mini train circles Swarovski crystal trees, no doubt designed to lure the rich out of their Uber’s & onto public transit. Unfortunate/cheap white fence represents flimsy barrier between politics & transit planning. 11/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
33 Yonge Street tree scene. Rustic & twiggy, a bit of Town & Country country in the city. Contrasts with one of Toronto’s greatest atriums & its 1982 Space Shuttle cool styling by @WZMHarchitects. 12/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
The @ChelseaHotelTO blue-hued tree. Homage to olden Tory Toronto? Yet Father Christmas in all white frock suggests a pimped out flamboyance heretofore suppressed. Fence represents increasing divide in TO between haves & have-nots. 11/10 #EveryCorporateChrismasTreeInToronto
Commerce Court main tree. “New” building - I.M. Pei 1972. Tree matches grey-silver building & reflects well in polished terrazzo. Looks nice from King St streetcars, wizzing along the pilot. Big 6 Cdn Banks made $45.3 billion this yr. so this tree better look friggen good!! 13/10
Galleria Mall trees. Mall almost empty, yet look at these tour de force trees. The floating present was created by wrapping the old kiosk sign. Lights glow beneath snow. This may be the Galleria’s last tree ever. They go out on top. 34/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Kensington Markek Global Cheese window tree. Wins the 2018 Mixed-Menagerie Award of Excellence. This peaceable kingdom, which brings cows BACK into the Xmas story (manger, etc) where they belong, manifests Toronto’s “Diversity Our Strength” motto. 14.5/10
Maltese Consulate General tree. Just the right amount of ornaments for a thrifty overseas office. Tree is proudly EU & is a redoubt of stoic anti-Brexit sentiment during this tense week. Il-Milied u s-Sena t-Tajba! No rating due to diasporic bias.
Bonus: official consulate nativity scene or “crib” as they’re known in Malta - each village has big public ones, kind of a competition.
Mississauga city hall tree + poinsettia stacked tree. Tho large, trees seem diminutive in vast 1987 postmodern hall. Good PRESENTation. As Mayor Doug Ford will soon enough amalgamate Toronto & Mississauga & etc, 905 trees may compete this year for first time. 12/10
The @mississaugalib main branch tree. No book tree here, just old fashioned tree by the flat screen tv. Just needs a rocking chair. Bold narrowness in a wide space. There is room to think in the library. Excellent skirting. 12/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
Square One mall trees, by Santa. Nice golden tinge, and rich fluffy snow inc a Fjord of sorts. Will distract people as they pay wild amounts of money to capture and cherish this moment. Velvet ropes to side in case of Xmas emergency. 10/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto
City Hall Trees. I swear they are half the size they were last year. Now also behind security check. 9.5/10 #EveryCorporateChristmasTreeInToronto.
65 Queen Street West tree. Thomson Building. Richest family in Canada tree. Real tree. Holy topper! Appropriately billowy & billionairesquey. Tim Hortons red balls suggests, like the Tomsons themselves, a performed frugality. Double double tree. 13/10
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