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I remember my first kiss, I was a teenager who was just began exploring the dynamic of romantic relationships.

It was few years ago; I'd just relocated to Calabar to live with my dad.

I enrolled in Access High School, Calabar.



I went to live with my dad years back, I landed in Calabar & braced myself for the new adventure. I heard the city had beautiful people & great food - witchcraft too!

Life was also about to take a different turn because my father was also the Principal of my prospective school.
The following week I went to write the entrance examination into senior class, after the exams I waited in the staff room for my results..

The result soon came out & I was asked to resume the following week, my result landed me in science class & my dad was immediately informed.
I resumed school the following week & news had gone round the school; especially in the boys' hostel, that the Principal's son was resuming school. As soon as I walked through the senior block I saw students peeping through the window.

"Nice school, beautiful people" I rejoiced.
I got a warm reception from new classmates too, after classes that day I went to the hostel & the porter helped me check in to my new room/house.

As soon as I finished checking in I heard the dinner bell, I went to the dinning with plates & cutleries to get dinner.
At the dining table I met Fred who guided me till I got my meal, he also engaged me throughout dinner & I found out he was my classmate too.

That was how I got into a new school, in a new city. In a few days I acclimatized, studied the environment & could now flow with others.
'Boy & girl' relationship was new to me so I had to observe, I saw a lot of girls I was attracted to & noticed a few attraction towards me as well.

Expressing myself was still a challenge but writing was not, one day after lunch I saw Emmanuella walking towards me..

She saw me!
'Ella' was amongst the first set of girls I met the week I resumed, characterised by big breasts; Ella had the kind of smile that could cure leukaemia;

"Principal's son?" She asked waving at me, "Yes, it's me. How are you?" I added

"I'm fine"

"Yes you are"

I looked into her eyes & suddenly developed a cold feet, the innocence I saw in her eyes made me smile;

I began to smile.


"Uchenna!!" I heard someone scream my name, I got scared & shocked so I turned to see who;

My father!!

"Oooh this man has spoilt my mojo!"
"Good afternoon sir!" Ella swiftly replied with a smile & gently walked into her class, I stood still like a police recruit on attention

"Is this what I'd be facing in this school?" I thought.

My father walked close & I walked closer to him, he asked if I needed anything

He shook his head & walked away, I went back to my class feeling happy & disappointed at the same time.

I was getting good reception from students in my new school, I also made new friends & the only challenge I had was coexisting my father in the same school

I sat with a new friend Dan that day at night prep, we walked to the hostel together when prep was over & talked about different things.

On our way to the dinning for 'night cap' we saw Fred calling my from afar, he jugged down shook both Dan & I;

"I hear say you sabi write love letter" Fred said as we all walked into the dinning hall, I had a reputation for writing love letters back then - I'd also written one for 'Dianabasi' the previous week.

"Who told you?" I asked & he told me he overheard someone say it in his room!
"I want to woo a pretty girl, I need your help" Fred said with his Liberian accent, he & his relatives from Liberia lived in Calabar & attended my school at the time.

After night cap; at 'light out' he snuck up to my room, I helped write the letter & he thanked me;

The next day I went to Ella's class during free period, when I got to the entrance of her class I saw some of her classmates surrounding her;

I looked closely & noticed they were just a couple of girls, I walked in I suddenly heard an echo of "Hello" from some girls in the class
"Are you the Principal's son?" One of them asked, I was shocked & went blank for a split second;

"Yes I am" I responded, I then realised I never entered that class when all it's members were present.

"Hi Uche" I suddenly heard a sweet voice call, I looked & saw Ella now alone!
I walked up to her table, immediately she stood up I noticed a paper fall - "is that not your love letter?" Uduak pointed.

At this point I'd gotten closer & paid attention to nothing either than her captivating smile;

"How's your dad?" Ella asked & I immediately lost zeal!
"He's fine" I solemnly replied, as I looked towards her hands I was surprised at what I saw;

The letter I wrote for Fred!

"So it's for Ella" I wailed, it then occurred to me that the girls were gathered round her because she'd received a "love note" from Fred

"Lord! Why me?"😢
"Is this your class Uchenna?!" I suddenly heard a loud voice echo, my heart skipped several beats as I slowly turned back to see who;

My father again!!

"No sir, he's a friend of the class" Uduak swiftly responded, the whole class backed her up & my dad finally walked away...
As soon as my dad left the class a teacher walked in, I had no choice than to quietly walk back to my class;

"..Barely 2 weeks & I'm writing to my crush on behalf of Fred? Nawa o.."

I got to my class & saw John in my class & my classmate Felicia on his laps, I waved & passed..
..One night while we were in the hostel we heard some movement by the fence behind junior block;

"The girls are here" One junior student said jugging towards the fence, he was accompanied by 2 other boys & I suddenly became confused;

"What's going on?" I asked Dan.
He explained that the girls sometimes sneak out to boys hostel at night to see & deliver messages to their crush, it sounded interesting because I never thought girls could be that 'gangsta' in a school filled with security.

I decided to walk towards the fence to see for myself!
I spread my school uniform & jugged towards the fence, as soon as I got there I saw some boys talking to some girls through the wall

It was light out' already so I could barely see their faces; I moved closer, got there & saw a big hole in the fence

I peeped & suddenly saw Ella
"Thank God you're here!" She heaved as soon as she recognised me in the dark, can you please give this letter to Fredrick?" She added.

At that point I realised I was just a messenger to Ella & a disciple to Fred, I wept like Jesus did but took the letter from Ella;

"No problem"
I dried my tears & walked back to 'senior block' to deliver the letter to Fred, "what were you doing there?" Fred asked when I handed him the note;

I asked what he meant & he said only junior boys were allowed to go to the fence when the girls come;

"You fucked up bro" He added
I went to bed that night with heartache, I was barely 3 weeks old & I already 'casted' - "this wasn't the plan" I grumbled as I slowly fell asleep.

The next day during morning jugging I saw some couples exchange love notes, they stopped when our Proprietor (Capone) joined us!
Capone had come to spot offenders & punish them, unfortunately for me I came to jugg without my socks;

I was spotted & punished alongside other offenders, we were asked to clear the farm by the school hall.

"I'm finished!" I exclaimed

"What would I tell my father o?"
I resumed at the farm with tools after breakfast, I was joined by fellow offenders & we immediately began work on the mini farm.

I tried to participate while hoping my father never finds out, the bell soon rang for break/snacks so we took a break.

Minutes later I saw Felicia!
She came with my snacks in a paper bag & handed it to me, "don't get into trouble again" she said & walked away.

I ate the & went back to work, minutes later I saw Ella walking towards the farm;

I got excited she came to see me, she got close & asked If I gave the note to Fred!
With sadness in my heart but gratitude to the Lord for a crush well nurtured; I swallowed my sorrows & told her I gave the note to Fred, she then asked if I was okay & left.

I looked in the sky with tears;

"I see the signs Lord, you want me to forget women & face my book? Okay"
I decided to tidy up & head back to the hostel, later that evening we went for evening games & decides to channel my energy into playing central midfield for my house; Emmanuel (Purple) house.

School life went on & I decided to focus on my studies;

"No more chasing girls"
One Sunday afternoon while in the chapel I'd slept off during sermon, the preacher was talking while school executives sat on the 'high table'.

There was total ambience so I slept off, I saw Ella in my dream & we talked; we were justa bout to kiss when I received 2 heavy slaps!!
I sprung up from my seat like I'd been shot & the whole church paused to look towards my direction, the stars in my eyes soon disappeared & I saw my dad walking back to his like Jason Statham after killing his enemies.

That was how I became a laughing stock in the entire school.
Everybody in school laughed at me, likewise the girls too. I was the topic of discussion the following week, I walked round the school feeling embarrassed & hating the fact that I was in the same school with my father.

Few days later the buzz died & things seemed to be getting back to normal once again, one day after school hours I walked to the hostel alone because I hadn't see Dan.

I walked through Junior high & suddenly found Dan & Ella talking under a Mango tree

"Dan and Ella?" I reminisced, I decided to swerve so I went through another route just to avoid them. As I walked to the hostel I felt like i was walking through the valley of shadow of death;

"Oh Lord prepare a table before my enemies" I muttered in agony as I kept walking.
I got to the hostel lobby, walked past the first room & suddenly saw Fred walking & humming "you dun hit my car, oyinbo repete" - an old Tony Tetuila song;

I suddenly began to sing along with him because I knew the lyrics, "you know the song?" Fred asked & I said yes!

We sang!
Before I knew it the other boys started looking through their windows, Fred made beats with his mouth while I sang along with Tony Tetuila's "My Car".

He began another popular Nigerian song & I sang along too, he became really excited & we continued drawing attention.
"What's going on here?!" 'Somkene' our Head boy asked, "who's singing?" He asked again as he walked close to where I was standing with Fred;

"Its Fred & Princi" Gabriel responded, "so you can sing all these Nigerian songs, are you a Lagos boy?" Somkene asked;


"Correct G"
The lunch bell soon rang & everybody left for the dinning hall, "nice one Uche" Fred said as we left the scene - "about the letter you gave me" Fred added;

"Where you the one singing?" One SS3 boy suddenly asked pointing at me, "Yes" I responded.

He just looked at me & walked..
I branched my room leaving Fred behind, I dropped my bag & went straight to the dinning hall. I began to avoid having any contact with any girl, spent more time with my classmates & studied hard.

One day while I was heading for lunch break I bumped into Felicia;

"Hello Uche"
"I feel like you've been avoiding me" she said, "No I've not" I lied - "okay, we'd talk after social night this weekend" she said & walked away with a smile.

I stood wondering if she just asked me on a date or gave me an appointment, I then began looking forward to social night!
Saturday was here & it was time for social night, we were to see a movie on a projector so we gathered in the hall. The projector came on we braced up for a great time;

While waiting for the movie to come on we started group talks, minutes later we heard someone talk on the mic!
The social prefect announced that the DVD player was malfunctioning & we had to entertain ourselves, different reactions erupted; some students were excited while some were unhappy.

The prefect called some 'funny' students to come tell jokes, they came out & were given audience.
They managed to tell a few funny jokes & struggled till the Mic was taken from them, "Where is Uche, the new guy?" Somkene suddenly announced - "we heard you can sing" he added.

"Yes! Yes!!" Some students echoed, all attention suddenly switched to me & I was left with no choice!
"I believe you, let's go" Dan said as he motivated me, I stood up from my seat & walked to the stage. I asked Dianabasi to play drums & he came up to the stage. I told him the beat I needed & played it, Dan got on the Piano & I began to sing;

"You dun hit my car, oyinbo repete!"
The reaction I got from the students was shocking, they all sang along while some stood up to dance. I felt like a superstar for those moments & it became obvious that all my lost image & dignity had been redeemed.

I finished singing & got down the stage to a sounding applause!
I walked back to my seat & all the boys were suddenly 'proud of me', I sat to enjoy the day of the 'show' but suddenly felt 'pressed' - I decide to go to the farm.

I excused myself & headed out, as I walked out & headed towards the farm to 'pee' I saw Felicia & Fred kissing!
They were in the dark buy the light reflecting from the hall vs r them away, I quietly ignored & went to ease myself. On my way back to the hall I saw Ella walking out;

"Superstar Uche"

"Hi Ella, how are You?"

"I'm fine o"

"Are you looking for Fred?"

"I'm not, why should I?"
"Have you guys broken up?"

"Broken up? We never dated"

At that point I became confused, "but you guys exchanged love letters" I asked & she started laughing.

She acknowledged a letter from Fred; "Felicia wanted him so I gave up" she added

"Felicia, How?"

Whilw we were still talking Felicia & Fred came out from hiding & bumped into Ella & I, "I see you love birds are out" Ella said.

"This is serious o" I thought, I tried to quickly observe the situation before proceeding with any more words.

I suddenly remembered Felicia & I were supposed to talk about something so I mentioned it to her immediately they were close, "I just wanted to thank you for delivering the letter to Fred" Felicia said.

"I can see that worked out well for you too" I said & she smiled
"I see you finally manned up to talk to your crush" Fred said looking at Ella & I eyeball to eyeball, "what do you mean?" Ella & I both asked;

"You think I don't know you like Ella?" Fred said, "look, the letter I gave you that day it was Uche that wrote it!" Fred said
"What are you talking about?" Ella asked Fred, then she turned to me - "what is he talking about?" Ella asked. I had no option but to confess, I told her I wrote it & also confirmed I had a crush on her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ella asked with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Let's leave these love birds alone" Felicia said as she grabbed Fred's hands & walked into the hall, I stood confused & not knowing how to react.

"You don't like me again now, you're a celebrity now you have plenty girlfriends" Ella said drying her tears.

"I still do actually"
"You still do?"


The trees were still & I could see the full moon out in the sky, a heavy round of applaud was being rolled out by students in the hall while Ella & I stared at each other face to face under the moon.

"So you're not dating Dan or Fred?"

"Dan? Fred? Nah"
I could hear Sebastian the crab telling me to kiss the girl, I was in love with her & it made me nervous. Her smile melted my heart; as she moved closer I also responded by moving closer.

As soon as our face were close to themselves I heard someone scream my name;

I looked at the hall entrance and saw my father, I felt like the floor should open & swallow me - "you're with your girlfriend abi?" He said, "good evening sir" Ella said;

"Good evening my dear" he replied, "you people should be careful, I'm going home" he added.
That was how my father turned & left Ella & I, I couldn't believe what happened - I looked to be sure it was my father, I confirmed it while he walked away.

Ella suddenly grabbed my hands;

"Kiss me quick before the students come out!"
That was how I ended up with my first ever girlfriend.

We promised ourselves that we would live happily ever after...


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