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Joolz Denby @JoolzDenby
, 9 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
#domesticabuse threatening suicide as a control device. 1st time this happened to me I was 17. A boy I politely turned down for a date got his sister to ring my mother & tell her he'd killed himself because I'd refused him. My mother blamed me for bringing
family into disrepute. I believed I'd killed him for the whole weekend. Saw him at art school the following Monday where he grinned and said, that'll teach you. After that every abusive partner I had, threatened to kill themselves if I got 'uppity'.
Some even took a few painkillers and rang the police to 'save' them saying they'd taken a handful of pills. I was always blamed and advised to 'go easy' on the abuser despite him previously abusing me physically & mentally. One guy constantly
threatened to hang himself if he didn't get his own way or was crossed. He did it so often, the final time I fetched a tow rope from the garage, handed it to him and pointed at the tree in the garden, telling him not to bother the Samaritans as they had
people with genuine problems to look after not a whining prat who was pissed off it asked him to empty the kitchen bin. Needless to say he's still alive and kicking years later. Joking aside, threatening suicide is terrifying to the person you're abusing.
I have never forgotten the horror and guilt of that weekend believing it killed someone by my actions in wanting to go to the cinema with my pal, not that guy. I've never forgotten crashing my car speeding to the 'rescue' of a liar who said he'd taken
an overdose and locked himself in his room. The way his parents shot daggers at me in the hospital for 'driving him to it' bevause he blamed me for him failing at his work, when I succeeded at mine. I've never forgotten the fear, shame, guilt and pain I felt
People who threaten suicide when they want to control you, or to get revenge, are abusers. They are abusing you. They are hurting you to get their own way. They are using the treat of suicide as a weapon of psychological control. It's wrong, and wicked.
Some people are genuine about suicide. They need all the love, help and support we can give them. To hijack their dreadful suffering for abusive ends is both cruel and shows someone's true, weak and vicious nature.
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