Profile picture
fooler initiative @metroadlib
, 36 tweets, 6 min read Read on Twitter
wait.

this is the gov't letter to counsel.
i'll come back to this...
maybe.
hold on.
i need the pleading.
okay. here we go.
wait...
lol...

let me play some mood music.

the government begins by telling us that the senate (through the ssci) and the house (through the hpsci) were both conducting investigations to figure out whether all the president's fredos had helped russia take a shit in the mouth of american democracy.
so michael cohen wrote a two page letter and sent it to the intel committees of each house. and he was basically all, "look, i was the general counsel/evp for 45's real estate company. we had some initial interest in a project in russia (the moscow project).
i'm the person who was in charge of all the goings on, so i'm just writing you this letter to clarify a few things, and assure you that everything me & 45 did with respect to this project was 1. brief, and 2. on the level."
government:
in the letter, cohen said:

A
-*he* terminated the moscow project in *january of 2016*.
-*he*, the one in charge, made the decision to terminate in *JAN 2016* of his OWN volition, w/o contacting any members of individual 1 (trump)'s family.
and, my favorite--
-that 45 hadn't had contact with ANYONE other than MICHAEL COHEN--and, even then, only a mere THREE TIMES--on the matter and scope of the moscow project.
B-

-that cohen NEVER agreed to go to russia to try and finesse this project.
-that he primarily made any communications to russia through "individual #2" (i don't know who this is).
-that he didn't ask 45 to go to moscow to help with the finesse.
lemme tell you what's dope
about that last one...
the government actually quoted michael cohen's letter *directly* in the header.
michael cohen's language?
that he "never *CONSIDERED*" asking 45 to go to russia to work on the moscow hotel shit.
lol.

lol...on some "HOW DARE YOU" type shit.
mira-

don't ever let nobody put quotation marks around your own words in a federal court filing and then use them as corroboration in support of his allegation of your ongoing pursuit of felonious criminal enterprise.

i can ASSURE you that is NOT the move.
now...
before i get to C, a point of clarity...
a lot of (stupid) ppl think that you can offer "i don't remember," "i don't recall" testimony under oath when you don't want to make an admission.

if you SAY "i don't recall" when you actually DO recall...
motherfucker, that's PERJURY.
i used to charge ppl for that kind of advice, but you can have it for free.
keep it close to your heart if you're a habitual fuck-up.
and SPEAKING OF--
C.
-"individual #2" suggested cohen reach out to someone in russia b/c it's impossible to get large scale projects done w/o express consent of the government actors. so cohen emailed the PRESS SECRETARY FOR THE PRESIDENT OF RUSSIA in JAN 2016 to get approval.
-according to his letter, "those permissions were never provided." (what have i told you about ppl using passive voice?)
-so COHEN decided to terminate the project.....in *JAN 2016*
-and DID NOT RECALL any response to his email, or *any* further contact w/russian gov't ppl.
bobby indictments:
by my count so far, that's 2(3 lies to a body of congress + 1 attempt of obstruction of justice).
"and if it's not too much trouble, i'd be much obliged if you kind folks would just add my lies to the record."
this is probably the most important part for our purposes...
the *why* of the lies.
bobby indictments says they were supposed to 1. create the appearance of severing russia ties, and 2. put the kibosh on the investigation...
to help individual 1...

the president.
y'all.
lol.
i know nobody was even thinking about russia anymore, but hand to God...
this is SO, SO, SOOOOOOOO bad.
government:
1. michael cohen DID talk to the president MULLLLLLLLLLLLLTIPLE times about the moscow project (i know, i know. i was super surprised, too.)
2. michael cohen DID brief the president's family members on his moscow plans.
3. michael cohen not only planned to go to russia, but took actual steps in attempting to get 45 to russia as well. for STARTERS, he asked 45 if he would fucking go to russia.
-cohen and individual 2 exchanged emails detailing possible dates and and open windows for 45 to visit (which, quite naturally, are in the possession of bobby indictments).
michael cohen was out here ready to binge watch the last season of "bates motel" w/the goddamned russian president.
whole time, the King of White Americans Who Make Horrible Decisions was vehemently denying the EXISTENCE of any place called "moz-kow."
i can't believe the president had to take a plane ride to argentina on the day that this dropped.
i'll bet his butthole looked like the inside of a balled up fist the ENTIRE flight.

i'd be so damned sick.
lost my train of thought.
sorry. super distracted.
okay. so cohen makes all these elaborate russian travel plans with individual 2......
and then, individual 2 was all, "i can't go to russia."
okay. very nearly done...
and this is the sweetest part...
check it out...
when addressing lie C, bobby indictments goes back to jan 2016, and talks about how cohen had called russia, dropped his name and connects, and established a line of communication with someone's assistant.
she told cohen she'd ask around, and follow up with him once she had some answers.
and then this is how bobby indictment closes his statement of facts...
wait for it.
wait for it.
THIS IS THE END, B.

THIS IS HOW HE ENDS THIS SHIT.
LISTEN...
i'm not old enough to recall the specifics surrounding bobby's "death" on dallas...
but i know what robert mueller pulled on that last page was GREATER THAN OR EQUAL TO that level of cliffhanger drama.
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to fooler initiative
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member and get exclusive features!

Premium member ($30.00/year)

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!