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Chuck Wendig @ChuckWendig
, 17 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
welcome to my new Netflix show it’s called CLUTTERING IS GOOD ACTUALLY IT IS LIKE A NEST MADE OF STUFF BUILT TO PROTECT YOU FROM FEELING FEELINGS
lesson one: if an object sparks nostalgic regret and instills you with a curious mix of shame and forbidden pleasure, that object goes on a special shelf and that special shelf is called “your bed”
lesson two: if you can’t remember where you got an item or why you even have it that’s an opportunity to become friends with this mystery object

keep it close

no, closer
lesson three: if you throw out an object someone gave you, they’ll know

they’ll fucking KNOW

and they’ll STOP LOVING YOU
lesson four: no you don’t have enough books

you only have enough books when you can build a castle out of them

yes, with a moat

OF COURSE A MOAT, JUDY, STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS
lesson five: buy more skeletons
lesson five and a half: remember if you can’t afford skeletons you can always make them

your house is a home and your home is a trap to any wayward soul or feral animal that finds its way in there

they have bones

bones that should be YOURS
lesson six: of COURSE you need more jars, Jesus Christ, Judy, DON’T GET RID OF A SINGLE FUCKING JAR
lesson seven: you’ll fit into that sweater someday

remember, we all become skeletons in the end, and skeletons love sweaters
YES JUDY WE ARE TALKING A LOT ABOUT SKELETONS IT IS PART OF THE LIFE PLAN

I MEAN GODDAMNIT JUDY
lesson eight: if you throw something out, that creates waste

but if you keep it, it contains value

as compost eventually

eventually we all become compost, Judy
yes Judy even the skeletons become compost

and eventually we become gasoline for whatever cephalopod evolves into the dominant being but that’s a story for another time Judy ha ha ha
lesson nine: yes MORE BOOKS Jesus Christ who ever said to STOP buying books
lesson ten: clothes naturally move toward the organic superstructure known as “a pile”

this is science

nature abhors a vacuum but fucking loves a pile
lesson eleven: no don’t clean your desk that thing contains tax receipts from 1988

and also dead crickets

which I don’t need to tell you are protein, Judy
lesson twelve: the joy of living in a dense temple of your own semi-beloved shame-stained garbage cannot be overstated and now you are protected from wolves and emotions and you have all the world’s knowledge because you bought all the books nobody can hurt you now, Judy, the end
(icymi I compiled this into a blog post and added some bits)

terribleminds.com/ramble/2019/01…
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