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Amal El-Mohtar @tithenai
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Watching VENOM & I’m trusting that it’s gonna get shitmazing eventually but for now I hate Eddie Brock even more than I hated him in the 90s Spider-Man cartoon
Things I am side-eyeing so far
1) protag is an asshole
2) Elon Musk is brown
3) we just got cheated out of 6 months of Asian Venom ladies
So glad we have homeless people & Asian women to be vulnerable & remind us who the real bad guys are
Wow what a thought-provoking reading of Genesis 22
OMFG EDDIE BROCK YOU LOST YOUR JOB BECAUSE YOU WERE A BAD REPORTER & YOUR RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE YOU BROKE INTO YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S COMPUTER & READ HER EMAIL
Dr Skirth is my favourite character & I am uncomfortably certain she is going to die
Why do people in movies who are trying to do a sneak leave the sound effects on their phones as they take photos
OK I love seeing him just barrel through stuff though that is excellent
Eddie Brock’s apartment is AMAZING
A bit confused as to how Drake’s hi-tech facility doesn’t have video surveillance but I am NOT complaining, please stay alive Skirth
AHAHA OMG LOBSTERS
OK this has gotten all of a sudden 100% better
Every time he says “Dan” I hear “Dad” & it’s super great
OH NO SKIRTH
I really love the light in San Francisco as shown in this film
Also I do genuinely sympathize with Brock dealing with a bad neighbour & that scene was fantastic
SKIRTH OBVIOUSLY DON’T TRUST HIM WTF?!
OK NOPE NEW FAVE, THE SYMBIOTE IS THE ABSOLUTE MVP
THIS RIGHT HERE, THIS IS THE MOVIE I CAME TO SEE
THIS CHASE IS EXCELLENT SAN FRANCISCO IS SO FULL OF HILLS
*actually literally screaming with laughter*
FINALLY YES YES YES
VENOM LITERALLY JUST BIT A DUDE’S HEAD OFF & I WANT THAT SUPER POWER
o m f g this movie

Venom

VENOM!!!!!!!!!
“I am Venom. & you ... are mine.”

THIS ***IS*** A ROMCOM, YOU WERE ALL CORRECT
“You uh... gonna eat anyone else?”

“Most likely”

THIS IS SO GREAT
OH SHIT OH NO
I — I love Venom so much —
I’m gonna start walking around growling POUSSEY at people & it is gonna be entirely this movie’s fault
OMFG VENOM AS RELATIONSHIP COACH WTF
Goddammit that’s really sweet
Speaking of sweet—scary little girl!!! OH NO or—yes? Maybe?
NO DON’T LET THE SYMBIOTE DIE
OH NO THE DOG
OH NO EDDIE!! SHIT I CARE ABOUT YOU NOW
“That hurts. Long journal entry about that tonight.” Man everyone in this film becomes a million times more likeable once they’re possessed by an alien.
Tom Hardy is seriously amazing in this film
OH

W H A T

W H A T
Sequence of thought:
Oh! A lady symbiote!
Wait why would a lady symbiote have mammary glands
Oh right it’s—
WHAT FANFIC AM I READING HERE
omg

“Don’t worry [Steven.] I’m never alone.”
“ON MY PLANET, I AM KIND OF A LOSER. LIKE YOU.”

SCREAMING
GODDAMMIT I WANT AMAZING BAT’LETH ARMS
Guys this film is totally grimdark Steven Universe!!!!!!

“I won’t let you destroy this planet”

I WON’T LET YOU HURT MY PLANET

I WON’T LET YOU HURT MY FRIENDS
TELL ME I’M WRONG, I DARE YOU

I LITERALLY JUST SAW A BAD FUSION HAPPEN
OH NO ANIME DEATH
FUCK YES ANIME REBIRTH
OH NO TOO MUCH FIRE
NO NO NO VENOM NO NO DON’T DIE VENOM
****EXTREMELY SAD****
“oh that, that was ... your buddy’s idea”
AWWWW STAN
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
“APOLOGIZE!!!!!!”
I’m really into this end credits song!
This was seriously amazing, I am so happy we watched this, I wonder what will come mid-credits
Ooh a terrifying Woody Harrelson, who could he—

*actually dies from laughs*
AAAHHHHHH THE FINAL POST CREDIT SCENE IS JUST AN EXTENDED CLIP FROM SPIDER-VERSE, THIS IS EVEN BETTER
Here endeth this thread, thanks for indulging me, now I’m gonna google what @KellyDMcC told me about the lobster scene, good night!
APPENDING TO THREAD this beautiful fanart by @sidhargrave on the prompt of "Eddie & Venom go out for ice cream"
(24 hrs later, still intermittently laughing at lines from Venom)
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