whenever you say "well I had to go through _________, why shouldn't they?" about any suffering you have endured, you are projecting your suffering onto other people. the real answer in most cases is that they shouldn't have to suffer, and you shouldn't have had to, either.
having to come to terms with this fact makes people understandably grieve and mourn what they had to suffer through, and ask "why?". that's really hard. it's a lot easier to justify it by expecting others to go through it, too. but it's also the morally wrong choice.
this is the rationalization behind so much. "bootstraps". "snowflakes". all of that. ultimately, it's that human weakness and fear leading people to make the wrong choice and project their suffering.
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