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What is a racist?

I was informed I was racist. Why? Because my friends sister has a baby daddy that is known in my group as “Big Nig” cos he’s a big black dude.

I’m not the only one to call him that. What’s what he is known as to the group of people on my town.
Not because he is black but because his real name is James. And there is already a James in the group.

Someone from out of town mentioned to me that I’m racist because I don’t call him “Big Nig” to his face. And that I was offending this other person even saying it.
He asked me why I don’t call him that to his face and in that moment I didn’t have a good answer.

I said, you know what, you’re right maybe that is kinda racist.

Then a couple days go by and I hear from my friend that “James” no longer lived in the house with my friends sister
It was then I realized why I call him Big Nig. Cos there’s been stories of him abusing his woman and him playing favorites with other kids because of different mothers.
Dude had no job. Sold whatever he could to make money. And when the dad told him he needed to start paying rent to help contribute to fixing up the house so the baby would have a nice place to live in he refused.
Because the dad would not sign him on as part owner of the house “James” refused to pay rent and left the kid and his gf.. saying he wouldn’t contribute money toward something that wasn’t his.
Then I think back to that guy calling me racist and now I have a better answer as to why i don’t call “James” “Big Nig” to his face.

It’s called keeping the peace.
Just because this dude is a pos in his own life. It’s none of my fucking business. So I can set aside my personal issues with a person if it means keeping the peace.
Does that make me racist ?
This has been a theme I seem to find myself expressing more often than others.

Not in a bad way.
Where I live in the middle of Indiana it’s very much “backwards” to the progress you see in other states wrt to social issues. Racism still exists in a way. Not like in the civil rights era tho.
I live in a town of about 500 people surrounded by cornfields on all sides. Farm bizz is big around me. So the whole “don’t tread on me” “you ain’t taken our guns” thing runs DEEP even still today.
That being said I grew up in a town that had a group of kids that chose to get their information from the internet instead of local news.

My town didn’t even have high speed internet until after 2012.
So my group of friends was like a small group of hipsters surrounded by farming folk.
That is an interesting crossroads to be at because the town itself is the bond between people. It makes it to where you don’t really live in a complete echo chamber cos everyone is different.
We could often see how racism would happen around us.

We would often go into a re-enactment of a racist thing we had seen happen or someone say.

“Yeah those fuckin coon tunes do nuttin but make ya look like a punk niggeR I tell ya what”
And we could say that in a hillbilly redneck accent mocking the ignorant people we grew up around.
But we have done that before to people that didn’t grow up with us and they think we are legit racist ass holes. Cos they aren’t “in” on the joke.
In mocking something in that way it takes power away from it and makes it trivial. I don’t see it as a bad thing
I’m more concerned with the virtue signaling white knight that is peacocking in a selfish manner disguised as liberal person protecting that whomst I am oppressing.
All the while he is telling me what I should and shouldn’t be allowed to say.
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