I just received, by divine intervention, the comedic catharsis that everyone reading my Twitter knows I desperately needed.

Fun "college town life" short (short) story time!!!
Picture this: it is 4 am, outside my office building on campus. I am taking a cigarette break before I get back to grading.

(Preemptive strike like the Bush doctrine but without the war crimes - I have a PhD so I'm smart enough to know that smoking is "actually bad" for me)
(Now is not the time for a "well, actualllllly" enlightening pathos-laden public health PSA / Dr. Phil intervention attempt in my mentions. I am trying to quit smoking, so trust me...I know smoking is idiotic)
So where was I? OH YES. Outside my office building.

4 am. On campus.

Enjoying the serene silence of this ungodly hour's peaceful nothingness.
Suddenly, my #SerenityNow moment is ruptured by a horde of rowdy frat boys, ambling drunkenly down the sidewalk.

Correction: HAMMERED. Plastered.
Amidst the crowd of wee inebriated wildings, one voice -- raised high -- decimates whatever remains of my all-too transitory moonlit moment of "zen."


(At least, I think that's what was said - the syntax was understandably...garbled.)
Spoiler: I recognize that voice.

It belongs to a student in one of my classes.
Me: "Hello, [Redacted Name of Student]. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and stay safe. See you on [Redacted Date of My Class in Which Student of Redacted Name And Drunken Fame is Currently Enrolled."

Next week should be fun.
Thank you so much, God. I really, really needed that laugh this evening / morning / yesterday / whatever counts as Current Time And Date.

PSA, undergrads - binge-drinking is dangerous.

Please don't drink enough to get alcohol poisoning, or to such an extent that you hit on your own professor (that's an extreme level of inebriation. I'm little like Yoda, but also old and wrinkly - like Yoda, minus the wisdom).
Full disclosure - I don't drink, so I frankly have no idea how much alcohol it takes for someone to mistake an old, wrinkly Yoda person like me for a 'hit-on-worthy' 20-something, but...

Anyway #blessed cause I needed that hilarity today.
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