I quickly realized, in listening to her, that she was in a no-win situation.
* She had inadequate support for her research program
* She had inadequate support for her administrative duties
* She was being asked to spend much more time on clinical & admin than her grants allowed her to do
* Ask for more support - you need staff, you shouldn't go to all those meetings, you deserve a pay-raise given the amount that you're working.
* Don't do those admin tasks that they could hire someone else to do.
* Insist on your value.
And being told that this was her job. And purposefully NOT being given room to ask for things.
* About not worrying too much about upsetting people.
* About asking for what you need, because otherwise you will burn out or leave.
* About calling on your sponsors/mentors - people like me - to advocate FOR you, if you're scared
I can think about how many times my own mentors have told me this, and how I (very often) STILL struggle with these precepts.
Can you imagine?
What if we owned our power? Knew that we were adequate? Asked for what we need and desire and deserve? Stopped being afraid?
Imagine what we could do.
GO DO IT.
Don't be scared.
Go ask for it.
Push beyond what you think you can.
And know that we all have your back, while you're being brave.
Let us know how awesome it was!!!!
The issue is a SYSTEMS issue. **This is not a failing of us, as individual women.**
But at the same time:
We can, as women, or as allies, be as brave as possible. And not let the system beat us - or our friends - down.)