I have written a short story entitled “Rational Approaches to Counterterrorism Strategy on Twitter: An Experience.”

I hope you enjoy it.
I dedicate this novella to @LibyaLiberty and @HindMakki.
It’s always a “Mike,” for some reason. I have an entire album of lunatic trolls screaming at me called “People of the Internet.”

About 50% are Mikes.

I know, I know...correlation isn’t causality, but still. Fascinating.
For the purposes of scientific credibility, I am sharing below a few examples from my statistical analysis of "Mikes" saying crazy things to me on Twitter.
I don't know what I said to make this Mike mad, but judging from his response, I wish I remembered.

I'm sure it was very inflammatory, like "coffee tastes good."
This one is an especial favorite of mine. We all know that vetting sources is key when evaluation information credibility.

"Mike Loves Puss 69" certainly selected a Twitter handle with the appropriate gravitas needed to persuasively convey his political positions.
In the interests of accuracy and not skewing my statistical analysis, it seems this Mike (in particular) provided numerous entries for the data set.

I'll go back and recalculate.

For science.
I can't be certain this guy's name is actually Mike, but judging from his reaction to my Tweet here, I'd say there is a very high likelihood.

Also, this is just hilarious.
I have to now showcase a few of the "non-Mikes" who merit inclusion because they're hysterically entertaining.

I'm not sure how my cat is a Muslim or what that has to do with disease and Hazmat suits, but A+ for the creativity, I suppose.
This one has a very special place in the "well, isn't that ironic" part of my heart.

I guess the Grand Dragon just assumed the headscarf in my avatar hadn't been laundered recently. That, certainly, was the root of Mr. KKK's concern.
Anyway. Thank you, lunatics - each and every one - for contributing to my "People of the Internet" photo album.

Too many to share all at once, but I hope this brief glimpse shares, for my beloved Twitter followers, even a fraction of the joy your daily Crazy gives me.

(This also gives you a sense of what I mean when I tell my students: your critique does not offend me: I am on Twitter. I have no feelings anymore.)
It be ya own students
Guess what, you guys? A friend of mine has a button maker, and I’m about to abuse my privileges.

“People of The Internet” will now be buttons for decorating my backpack.
I'm also going to abuse the button maker machine privileges for my "Student Email Hall of Fame" finalists.
So it begins
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