, 33 tweets, 7 min read Read on Twitter
I made the mistake of finding out that all 24 thousand seasons of Survivor are on Hulu.

I gave up all reality TV about a decade ago—once I realized I was spending 23 hours a week watching Big Brother—and yet... 😬
I’m already 3 episodes deep. It’s over. Nice seeing you all.

I’m not saying which season because someone will spoil it for me. But I remember why I used to love this show. 😂😂
The ability to binge this without commercials is kind of a game changer not gonna lie
The Black woman in this tribe is so sick of the bullshit. She’s not having any of these white people. 😂😂
They need to do a season where it’s all people of color and one white person per tribe.

*leans back in chair*
And then all the Black people revolt until the show producers give them a bunch of moisturizer. Are the Black people just ashy the whole time? That would be worse than not having a toothbrush.

“Here’s your moisturizer and your fishing gear.” 😂#BlackSurvivor
What a stupid vote. They voted out their most motivational person and kept the dude who lays around camp all day. Now they’re all deflated and standing around in the rain. Not smart.
They gotta vote this dude out just to shut him up. Good grief.
I know Black people are only like 13% of the population, so it makes sense statistically to only put two Black people per season, but for fucks sake. It just puts them at such a disadvantage socially. To be the only Black person in the tribe? It sucks.
Most of these dudes are total ding dongs. One white dude has dreads. 🤨
The goddesses are punishing me for resuming my reality tv addiction. I woke up super sick.

So I took a sick day and am going to... resume watching survivor.

It makes sense in my head.
By the ways the flu shot is a lie and I’m pretty much an anti-vaxxer now.**

**j/k vaccinate your grubby kids
I’ve decided that I’m going to spend a year getting in better physical shape, and then @Hegemommy and I are going to go on The Amazing Race.

And the whole time, I’m going to wear my abortion is freedom sweatshirt and Jess is going to wear her Captain Abortion outfit. #TeamLegal
My convalescence area. #SpanielDayLewis
The end is nigh and everyone is lying to everyone about everything. #SurvivorMysterySeason
2 more episodes of this season. I love all the scheming.
I’m definitely crying now that they’re all seeing their families. 😭😭 #survivormysteryseason
The last two times, the dudes who really needed to win immunity to save themselves actually won immunity.
😱
Also, something so funny happened in like episode 3, but I can’t say what it was until I see who wins this season because explaining it would reveal what season I’m watching and I don’t want spoilers.

But it was super funny.
#MundaneTweetsNoOneCaresAbout
#SurvivorMysterySeason
If these numpties vote out the dude who literally has never won a challenge, then they all deserve to lose.

You don’t vote out the dude who is tired with bad knees. COME ON.

he can’t win immunity. This is basic stuff.
I’m very invested in this right now 😂
In one season the final 3 or 4 had to stand on a tiny platform on one foot for 8 hours or whatever. This dude can’t do that!

Don’t screw this up, guys
Also, I get being upset when your alliance turns on you, but come on lady—they can’t take you to the finals. You will beat them all. They might as well just hand you the million dollars.

I’d probably be mad for a while, but by jury time I might be more understanding.

Maybe.
It turns out that one of the white dudes I thought was a ding dong yesterday, I actually like now.

Plus it turns out he doesn’t have dreads. His hair is just hella dirty. 😂 Plus he might be low key smart and playing dumb—maybe.

He won immunity again! He was totally going to get voted out. I actually clapped.

Apparently, I like this guy. 😂😂

I’m way too invested in this. I think it’s cabin fever. 🤒😷
I finished the Nicaragua season last night. I actually am glad about who won. Didn’t like him at first but ended up liking him quite a bit.

I’m starting a new season tonight. #SurvivorWatch
I didn’t know they did a final three now. When i stopped watching a decade ago they were still doing a final 2. #SurvivorWatch
I’m a few episodes into my second season of #survivorwatch and these two women voted out the other woman— who would be loyal to them—and kept the dude because he would help in challenges.

YOU HAVE 3 PEOPLE LEFT IN YOUR TRIBE. YOU ARE PROBABLY MERGING ANYWAY & DUDE WILL PEACE OUT
I was literally yelling at the TV, YOU ONLY HAVE THREE PEOPLE LEFT. DUMP THE DUDE. KEEP THE LOYAL GIRL.
aaaaaaaand they’re merging.

I was rooting for this woman, but that was a real dumb tribal council move—not keeping the other woman.

smh
Welcome to Imani live tweets seven thousand seasons of survivor without actually saying which one she is watching.

I suggest you unfollow me now. It’s just going to get more ridiculous.

I can’t be helped. Save yourselves
I’m sick, stuck at home, with NOTHING TO DO BUT WATCH THIS SHIT.

I’d probably watch even if I weren’t sick tho not gonna lie
stop making blood oath alliances in the first week. They never last. And you end up pissing people off when you inevitably jump ship after the merge.
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