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Hello. If you follow Small Stories, please know that today’s story will be Quinn Has Thoughts About #Oscar2019 dresses.
Love the cut on Amandla, am sure this color looks better in person.

Stylists, please find some way of checking this. What is "Antique silver" in person is "Taupe" on a computer.

#Oscars2019
Danielle McDonald looks adorable, the cut and color is lovely but it needed one more fitting around the abdomen. I failed Sewing three times, I shouldn't have to tell you this.
Ladies and gentlemen, the first woman who will actually be comfortable in three hours.
@JeniferLewis, wearing a bronze jumpsuit after helping @Shangela get herself composed on the red carpet. Would I wear it? No, I would not and neither would you, because we are not Jenifer Lewis.

We do not deserve Jenifer Lewis.
Ashley Graham owns a mermaid cut but I have to say, there is a position the wearer-of-mermaid has to get into for her photo op which makes me assume they airbrushed out a folding chair.
Not since Michelle Williams in this color has anyone owned yellow and girly with such confidence at the #Oscars. She looks so pretty. I do wish the bottom were more interesting though. "Details, folded, sleeve...eh, screw it."
That's...a lot. It feels like a would-be Versace. Like, the slashy bits are very Versace but the spotted bits in the middle feel like a scratchy party dress you wanted when you were 5.
Is it to be a pink year? Emilia Clarke looks pretty.
Pink is the navy blue of India and the color of the day in Hollywood.

Let me be the first:

THIS IS SPARKING JOY.
Purple, not pink. Still feels like it identifies as pink. More to the point, DAYTIME DRAG.

EXTRA DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY.

#Oscar2019
The cut is exquisite, the statement is bold AF and you know what makes the outfit?

Billy Porter's expression.
Michelle Yeoh is a silvery goddess.
I feel as if Laura Harrier is better than this dress. Maybe it's magnificent in person but right here, I'm getting "Westside Prom, ca 2007." It's doing something weird to her breasts.

And that's what her prom date is for.
Can you be modest and absolutely slay?

You can.
#YalitzaAparicio! It's a tricky color, she wears it well. I like how it's not a big dress, it is a dress for someone who is new to all this and needs to not be fixated on her dress all night. Like, this dress might have pockets.
So pink is the color of the year and a suit is fun and the metallic gives it a David Bowie touch and

OH MY GOD, WOULD YOU STAND UP STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT YOU DID YOU HAVE NO PARENTS WHATSOEVER.
So...

Fillers.
Linda, this is the dress of a much taller woman. And that woman is Gemma Chang who is about to arrive in something very, very similar.
It's classic. No mistakes, but not terribly bold either. Then again, I feel as if this is the dress you wear when your people think you might be the winner; it's confident, it's adult and the award will stand out beautifully.
Danielle, this is how a big girl does strapless.
Since Goop wore that "White dress/cape thing" a few years back, people have tried to normalize that, without success. This is the first time I find myself thinking, "You know? On her, this is cute." A brighter lip would have been useful, though.
Dear Linda,

Sorry.
Do I love this dress? No, I do not love this dress. But Gemma Chang likes a big statement of a dress, the color is magnificent, she is about eleven feet tall with a face like a cameo.

No one can wear this dress.

She can wear this dress.
Why win the Oscar when you can be the Oscar?
Oh, dear God in heaven.
Pink again.

Also, it's official; Maya Rudolph is a comedy goddess who has terrible taste in formalwear.
Be Marlene Dietrich, but then do the white shirt and make sure the black tie fits perfectly.
That cut! That orangish red! The hair! The her!
Another pink dress. Definitely the color of the year. Whoever designed this for and failed to account for how much it would wrinkle while she sat must be shunned by the entire gay community forever.

But damn, that body.
I know Valli is known for his Statement Dress.

In this case, the statement is, "I look itchy."
Consort is in the office with me, doing me a huge favor of collecting data from a hateful person in my life, reading his emails so I don't have to. We have spent the past hour together. In all that time, he has been mindlessly whistling "Turkey in the Straw."

I still love him.
TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR.
Glorious.
"What are you wearing, Charlize?"

"I'm wearing Charlize Theron, peasant."
Mermaid!

A little color might have been nice, though.
Body of the GODS! But maybe darken the hair a touch, or change the makeup a bit. She somehow looks tired.
"This is how you lady black tie, bitches. I can even do a weird hair combover and you will still bow down."
You know what's great about Jason and Zoe being married to each other? That saved two other people from looking at them and saying, "You're leaving the house...in that."
"I'm like a fashion snake from the future."

"Miss, this is In-n-Out."
This one is going to earn me some scorn.

I...don't hate it.

Sure, it's weird, but it's different and the color is gorgeous on her and no, I'm not wearing it any time soon, but she looks really pleased in it and it kind of suits her.
Tessa Thompson is so much better than this outfit that it is giving me a headache. She is tiny and slender, she could have done one of those futuristic LV dresses. Instead, we get tube.
Pink again. A hard dress to wear, but Sarah likes those tricky ones. I wish she had done something else with her hair, but I can't think of what I want it to be.
Eh.
Good night, everyone! See you at the #MetGala!
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